


And I Fear Nothing

by maisee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Clone Trooper & Jedi Relationships (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Culture (Star Wars), Clone Troopers Deserve Better (Star Wars), Clone Troopers Speak Mando'a (Star Wars), Clone Troopers and Children (Star Wars), Clone-Saving Duo Rex & Ahsoka, Cody is Physically Disabled, Dealing With Trauma, Disordered Eating, Domestic Fluff, Eventual CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Explicit Language, Force Healing (Star Wars), Force Visions (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Clone Troopers (Star Wars), Found Family, Gen, Hiding from the Empire, Hurt CC-2224 | Cody, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Jedi Culture & Tradition (Star Wars), Jedi Training (Star Wars), Jedi Training/Clone Adoption/Bantha Farming: The Family Business, Kix Gets Rescued, M/M, Mandalorian Adoption (Star Wars), Mandalorian Culture (Star Wars), Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine, Order 66 Aftermath (Star Wars), Parenting Duo Obi-Wan and Cody, Permanent Injury, Pining, Post-Order 66 (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rex and Cody are Best Friends, Self-Worth Issues, Slow Burn, Suicidal Ideation, Vode-Jetii Clan On Tatooine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27598345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maisee/pseuds/maisee
Summary: Cody comes home from an extended errand to see his house surrounded by Tusken Raiders. He's not having it.orRex and Ahsoka delivered Cody to Obi-Wan with a bloody dressing taped to his scalp and a ruined left leg. The last thing he’d expected was his General to pick his traitorous shebs up with two pink, squalling natborns strapped to his back, but he's here to stay.Post-Order 66 AU
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & Ahsoka Tano, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-6116 | Kix, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody & Leia Organa, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi & Luke Skywalker, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, CT-6116 | Kix & Ahsoka Tano, CT-6116 | Kix & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano, Glitch & CC-2224 | Cody, Glitch & CT-7567 | Rex, Glitch & Horns (Star Wars), Glitch & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & CT-6116 | Kix, Obi-Wan Kenobi & CT-7567 | Rex, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Leia Organa, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker
Comments: 486
Kudos: 731





	1. Cody

Cody gulped for breath, raw, visceral adrenaline rendering his already fatigued muscles weak. He scanned the ledge surrounding the house as he hoisted himself onto it, counting four…five Raiders clustered around the vaporator and front door.

He dropped to an inelegant crouch, skirting behind some boulders so he could get a better vantage point. 

He could see a few more huddled around Rex’s beloved mushroom garden. They seemed to be systematically uprooting the entirety of the next harvest, stuffing fistfuls of the crop into bags. Cody chewed reflexively on his bottom lip, contemplating his options. Kriff this. Obi-Wan had already been forced to trade nearly a month’s worth of their rations in exchange for the Raiders to stop coming so close to the homestead. They _knew_ they weren’t supposed to be here.

_Don’t play with me, you kriffing cretins._

Cody took a quick inventory of his weapons, checking his boot for his hidden vibroblade and making sure his pair of DC-17s were clean and cleared, then loaded and charged. Satisfied, he flicked the safety off on both and holstered them. Not precisely his preference of blaster for this situation, but they would have to do. He glanced around the property one last time. No doubt they were taking advantage of Obi-Wan and the twins being by themselves. Force knows how long the fiends had been watching the house and waiting for Cody to leave. The thought gave him the shudders.

Cody moved to stand on the ridge, pulling himself as tall as he could. He puffed out his chest, chin held high. “HEY! Go away! _Tayli’bac? Slana’pir!_ ” he roared.

The Tuskens turned to face him in surprise.

 _“Step back. Step back. Away from my clan shelter”,_ Cody signed assertively, hands shaky. Stinging sweat was dripping into his eyes. He blinked hard to clear it. He was far more riled up than he thought he was.

Not good.

 _“_ _Why? Why here_?” he spit, heightened stress over the revelation causing him to fall helplessly into Mando’ a as he signed with accusing, windmilling arms _. “You. Break trust. Break pact. Broken. You. No honor.”_

One of the Raiders shrieked indignantly. The frightened, warbling cry of a toddler rose sharply from inside the house, and Cody deflated marginally in relief. At least one of the kids was alive then. Tuskens could be violent toward Jundland Waste settlers when the mood struck them. Where was General Kenobi? The Jedi would have never allowed Raiders to come this close to the house without an explicit invitation. If they had hurt him or the children in any way…

Fury blazed hot and sudden in his chest. He fought the urge to reach for his blaster. He needed to wait. Drawing weapons prematurely had only incensed them in the past.

“ _Did you bring harm? Harm to my clan_?” he signed clumsily, unsure of the absolute accuracy of his signs but choosing to commit. Cody was a fast learner and had become highly proficient, but Obi-Wan still had a better grasp of the language’s nuances than he did. He was a natural polyglot, after all. “ _Location of younglings! Please give it to me! Fast! Location!”_

A male Raider near the vaporator screeched and pounded his chest. _“You insult the Tribe,”_ he signed in broad, steady gestures. _“No honor. We bring favor to you. Vow not broken. Young ones weep from the time the Goddesses wake until they sleep. You leave. We watch. We find in shelter. Your not-kin. Fever!”_

Darkness crept unbidden into the edges of Cody’s vision. So…something had happened to them, then?

A humming sound unexpectedly roared to life in his ears, and distantly, he observed the familiar sensation of his consciousness detaching from his body. His bad leg quaked with painful intermittent spasms. Dissociating felt so similar to the chip activating. At the thought, an invasive memory threaded through him like scorching venom.

_Good soldiers follow orders. Blast him. Good soldiers follow orders. Blast him. Good soldiers follow-_

_No. Stop._

He hadn’t meant to allow himself to be so thoroughly provoked. Slip-ups usually only happened when he got too worked up. Rex was so good at keeping him grounded during his…lapses. But he was gone for another day at least, rescuing more wayward _vode_ and Jedi from the Empire.

Without him. Because the once elite Marshal Commander Cody couldn’t keep up on basic missions anymore.

_Stop crying, soldier. Get your shit together. People are relying on you. He’s not here._

His eyes stung, and the dry air momentarily reeked of the afterburn from discharged plasma. The incision scar where his chip had been removed throbbed with awful phantom pain. He felt himself slipping a little more. Were the Tuskens telling the truth? His lips and fingertips felt ungainly and numb. _What fever...? You failed…You betrayed him, and now you fail again...you killed him…traitor…you killed the General…_

General. Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan also knew what to do when he felt like this, even if Cody was decidedly unworthy of his sensitivities. The Jedi usually could sense both his and Rex’s episodes of distress far before they became unmanageable. He always offered quick intervention and quiet companionship on difficult nights, sending them back to sleep with gentle Force suggestions that made them feel intoxicatingly floaty and warm, easing the grief permanently trapped in their mind and bodies.

_Focus._

Cody shook himself, straining to remain aware. He mentally dug his heels in, and the misplaced smell and sound dissipated for the time being. The lines of his surroundings sharpened, and after a moment of running through his grounding exercises, he decided to take a chance on diplomacy. He had witnessed Obi-Wan squash arguments with Sand People for months now. Mercifully, he could remember some key placating phrases. _“I’m sorry for the insult. I feel great shame.”_ He signed begrudgingly.

Poor Rex’ika. Cody’s heart broke for him. He had worked so hard on nurturing his little vaporator garden. He was going to be devastated when he came home to find it stripped. But his clan’s safety was more important than the stolen food. He would help Rex buy and sow more spores. It wasn’t worth the fight or repercussions.

 _“Please forgive.”_ He signed at the Raiders for further emphasis. _“I am in your debt. Show me my clan?”_

 _Gedet’ye_.

This seemed to be the right course of action. The same Raider beckoned, and the rest of them took the cue by dispersing from the door. Cody stumbled forward, heavy leather boots disturbing the red earth in great puffs as he skidded into the doorframe. It was open. They’d gotten in. “Ben? Where are you?” he rasped in garbled Basic, blinking rapidly through green and white flashes as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. It stank like something was burning. “Luke? _Adi’ka_? Leia?”

Immediately, two tiny figures appeared in his line of vision. They both perched on Obi-Wan’s small sleep couch, little faces gummy with dried tears, dirt, drool, and nasal discharge. They looked near feral but appeared to be unharmed. Luke seemed to be thoroughly drained, lightly dozing against his much more aware sister. She looked up as he entered, lip quivering. _“Buir!”_ she cried, her sticky little hands reaching out for him.

 _Oh, Force._ Cody let out a near animalistic groan of relief, snatching Leia up and smattering the top of her head with loud kisses. “ _Wayii! Mar’ e…_ I thought…I thought…Oh _adi’ka._ I’m sorry.” He squeezed her and then picked Luke up as well. “Luke. Are you all right?” he fussed, resting his forehead against the boy’s. “ _Buir_ is home. Poor _ik’aad.”_ Cody breathed them in for a moment, eyes watering.

Cody had been cautious of the Traitor’s natborn offspring at first, but his bond with them had grown slowly into a ferocious, unshakeable thing. He’d never imagined being authorized to care for children in his lifetime. Only in his most shameful, treacherous moments had he had allowed himself to dream of a life after the war. A life where he might be permitted to have a sweet babe of his very own to cherish and protect. One with lovely dark curls, warm brown skin, and big tawny eyes. A little _vod_ that Cody could hold close against his breast and provide a far better life than had ever been afforded to him.

Cody wasn’t sure if any crechling _vod_ was still living. Had they all been culled when the Republic’s money stopped flowing in?

The thought made his already sore spirit recoil in pain.

Luke and Leia were decidedly not what he had envisioned in his dreams. When Rex and Ahsoka had delivered him to Obi-Wan with a bloody dressing taped to his scalp and (thanks to Commander Tano’s chosen method of capture) a freshly ruined left leg, the last thing he’d expected was his General to pick his traitorous _shebs_ up with two pink, squalling natborns strapped to his back. The fruits of Skywalker and Senator Amidala’s infamously improper liaisons.

Two blessed, blue-blooded infants with unique, distinguishing features, chip-less skulls, average lifespans, and bright, mystical destinies to fulfill. Nothing at all like the thousands of tiny, unremarkable _vode_ that will never get a chance to be human _._

If Obi-Wan had ever noticed his silent, poisonous bitterness in those early days at the homestead, he never revealed it. The phase was short-lived, in any case. Seeing his General doggedly shoulder the burden of caring for both twins himself had been almost more than he could bear to watch. Still unsure of his place at the time, Cody had begun assisting with only small tasks at first, like throwing soiled diapers out and heating pre-mixed bantha formula. Obi-Wan took care of nearly everything else-throwing himself into the role of caretaker with such unchecked vigor, Cody doubted he had even realized there were sometimes other adults in the house to help him. In those days, Obi-Wan was almost entirely mute, unable to express himself vocally even under duress.

Some of their brothers had suffered battle shock like this- Boil was Cody’s most vividly memorable example. After the death of Waxer, Boil seldom spoke to anyone unless it was duty-related. As the 212th expected, he’d put a blaster in his mouth eventually, foiled only barely by little Wooley’s quick reflexes. Cody and Obi-Wan had kept the incident tightly under wraps lest Boil be recalled and culled.

Rex and Cody had been terrified that a similar incident was on the horizon. Ahsoka barely came to the homestead but once a month, so they had truly been alone in preventing this.

The two of them had tried desperately to get him to speak, but Obi-Wan would only smile sadly and try to reassure them through half-hearted shoulder touches and attempts to make up for his silence through servitude-silently offering to cook meals, clean blasters, finish repairs, build furniture, or even darn clothing. Cody could tell Obi-Wan perceived his unresolved muteness as a burden and had wrongly assumed they thought the same.

It was after the night he and Rex had caught the exhausted man softly weeping into an inconsolable Luke’s chest that Cody became insistent about helping the man with his duties. If his General cared this much about Vader’s children, then no matter his feelings, it was his duty to see them to adulthood. His contemptuous attitude didn’t last him long-the little twins won him over easily with their enchanting smiles and genuine, unconditional love.

Alpha-17 had always accused him of being too soft. True to his Template’s more Mandalorian traits, he couldn’t begin to conceive of being separated from them, now. Obi-Wan had recovered his ability to speak in fits and starts, relapsing only occasionally. He had been so quietly pleased when he started referring to the babies as his _ade…_

_Obi-Wan._

“Where is Ben, younglings? Where’s your _Buir_?”

Leia pointed with emphasis at the floor, and Cody looked down. A few feet away, a quivering supine figure lay covered in what looked to be Rex’s fluffy bantha-hide blanket. Ice swamped Cody’s veins, and he wheezed out a pained lament to the Force. He could feel himself start to drift for the second time. His chip scar felt hot.

_Stop. Be strong. It’s your duty to be strong right now._

“Sir. No!”

_What happened?_

Cody placed the twins back down on the couch a bit more abruptly than he meant to, scrambling to kneel by the Jedi’s side. His bad knee gave an almighty crack, and he fought the impulse to scream an obscenity. “Obi-Wan-uh, kriff. Ben. What’s wrong? Oh, _Sith hells.”_ He pulled the blanket off and tossed it to the side _._ Obi-Wan’s breath was coming in soft, rapid puffs, and his just visible irises were moving rapidly from side to side. Every few moments, he let out an aborted grunting sound as his body was seized with tremors. Fever, the Raider had said. It could be one, but…

Cody pressed his sun-chapped lips to the stricken Jedi’s forehead and took a moment to evaluate. His temperature felt…normal. 

_No fever then. This looks like it might just be one of his…episodes. Force visions._

If it was, this was one of the worst he’d seen Obi-Wan suffer for months. The General had become far more susceptible to them since the first wave of the Purge. They were typically awful things, mostly notifying Obi-Wan when Vader, the _vode,_ or the Inquisitors had successfully terminated more Jedi. Other times they showed him kaleidoscopes of disturbing images from the future. Sometimes he was trapped in an inky black void with glowing paths stretching in every direction. More rarely, he was visited by a specter that claimed to be his dead master.

The visions usually lasted only a few minutes at a time at most. On the physical plane, at least, as Cody understood it. This seemed…different.

_He’s gonna give himself kriffing brain damage._

“How long has this shaking been going on? How long has he been seizing?” he called over his shoulder at what he assumed to be a cluster of curious Sand People still behind him. He hoped one of them understood Basic. He didn’t have time to sign. Cody ripped his worn, beige gloves off and started a full field assessment as he waited for a response, palpating and examining the Jedi from the russet crown of his head to the bottom of his dusty boots. He was no medic, but he’d been to enough obligatory training with Kix to understand the basics.

No response from the Tribe. Cody turned to regard them, but it seemed they’d fortuitously exited the house. No matter. It was clearly a long time if the children had screamed enough to draw the Sand People in from the dunes. Cody’s gut twisted in guilt.

Far too long.

Another dose of fear seeped into his chest.

He finished the limited examination with no additional findings and sat cross-legged on the earthen floor. He heaved Obi-Wan’s upper body onto his lap, cradling the afflicted Jedi’s head in the sandy crook of his arm and resting a battle-hardened hand on his chest. He wondered if this was serious enough to warrant hailing Rex and Commander Tano over the secure com.

“Ben.” he intoned gently, letting his hand drift in firm, slow, soothing circles. The rough weave fabric caught slightly against the calluses on his palm. “Ben. It’s all right. I’m home. That’s enough now. Come on back, yeah? Follow my voice. I think you just got stuck in there, is all.” The soft skin around Obi-Wan’s eyes tightened in what Cody imagined was recognition. Cody breathed slow and steady, trying (and likely failing) to keep his aura relaxed and reassuring looking in the Force. The General was probably beyond frightened if he was having such a violently physical response. Cody could only imagine the shit the Jedi was seeing right now.

He set his jaw in concentration and closed his eyes. When he first arrived at the homestead, Obi-Wan had gifted Cody a pocket-sized youngling’s book of Jedi mantras to look over when he was feeling overwhelmed. _“Collected Poems, Prayers, and Meditations on the Force.”_ It was tattered, ancient, and leather-bound—his first possession as a free man. Desperate for any solace, any way to make sense of what had happened to him, he’d memorized the whole thing within the first week. The words cherished by so many generations of children, now gone, were his to protect. 

Maybe the familiar pattern of words would help lure the Jedi out of his head? It was worth an attempt. He hesitated, casting a self-conscious glance at the children. They were both peering at him through the gloom with an alarmingly mature sort of perception that would have unnerved him if he didn’t know they were devastatingly Force-sensitive.

Cody suppressed the inclination to roll his eyes. Sometimes all this _jetii_ nonsense could truly drain a man.

Luke met his eyes with extraordinarily blue ones and popped his dirty fingers into his mouth nervously. “Ben looking for _Kote._ ” He mumbled around the mouthful, observably trying to be helpful. His tone suggested that he wasn’t impressed with Cody’s lack of action.

Cody’s heart clenched. He looked back down at Obi-Wan, envisioning a terrified General calling for help while desperately searching for an exit from a hellish dreamscape. “Ben. Luke and Leia are okay. I know you hear me. It’s Cody. We can do this together. We’re a team, aren’t we?” Cody forced himself to take another deep, cleansing breath. He couldn’t afford to scare him away.

Cody knew Obi-Wan probably needed another Jedi to help him, but he would just have to do with a broken-down clone trooper instead.

“Focus on my voice. Let’s meditate together, yeah? Let’s do page three.” Cody cleared his throat, imagining the worn-out pages of his little book in his hands. “ _A Jedi is the Force, made physical._ _I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me. And I fear nothing, for all is as the Force wills it. I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me….”_

There was a notable change in the cadence of Obi-Wan’s breath. After a few more rounds of experimental invocation met with little other auditory changes, Cody cracked open an amber eye and peeked down at the Jedi’s face. Slow rivulets of tears were slipping from Obi-Wan’s now tightly clenched eyes. His uncontrollable shaking had decelerated to long, heavy shudders.

_Thank the stars. I think I did it. He’s coming out of it._

Cody lightly brushed the hot tears away with the threadbare edge of his coat sleeve. Obi-Wan’s beard rasped distractingly against the side of his hand. “And I fear nothing, for all is as the Force wills it,” he repeated, somewhat to himself. _“_ There you are, General. You’re being so strong. I knew you could do it.”

Obi-Wan’s damp eyelids fluttered, and his jaw clenched hard. His back arched sharply, and he made a laborious rumbling sound deep in his chest. The arm not pinned between their bodies flailed as if he was fighting to emerge from deep water. Cody reached out and caught the wayward hand before it plummeted to the ground. He squeezed it tight, trying to ground him. “Sssh. Peace. Take your time. You’re okay. Don’t stress, yeah? I’m not going anywhere.” Obi-Wan clutched at him blindly with his other arm for several long moments, fresh tears springing onto his cheeks and dampening Cody’s arm. He was gasping wetly for air now, his seizing reduced to nothing but a fine tremor.

“Ben…? Are you all right? Can you hear me?” Cody prompted urgently, letting go of the hand and brushing Obi-Wan’s sweaty, unruly fringe off his forehead. The man didn’t respond beyond letting out a long miserable sigh, visibly drooping as more tension left his body. His eyes remained closed. Impulsively, instinctively, Cody began to rock gently. He was unsure what else to do now but attempt to comfort. He started to ramble again. “ _The old sun brings no heat._ _But there is heat in breath and life._ _In life, there is the Force. In the Force, there is life._ _And the Force is eternal. I am one with the Force-_ ”

“a-and the Force…is…with me.”

Cody nearly collapsed in relief. Tears sprung into his eyes unbidden, and he clutched the Jedi in his arms close. “Ben. You scared the living shit out of me, _jetii_.”

“ _Ni ceta, Kote.”_ Obi-Wan looked groggily up at him, and a warm, soothing sensation drenched Cody’s body without warning. Cody couldn’t help but exhale gratefully as the stress of the last hour was leached from his bones. Even the screaming pain in his leg receded to a manageable ache.

Obi-Wan reached up and wiped a residual tear from Cody’s face with a rough, calloused thumb. His gaze was still hazy and not wholly present. “You found me,” he whispered wonderingly. “M-sorry. Thank you. _Thank you_ …I don’t…”

“Hush, sir. It’s all right. Just rest a moment. Get your bearings. I’ve got your six.”

Never one to listen, Obi-Wan abruptly became agitated, fidgeting and looking blearily around. Cody gripped him harder, trying to restrain him. “What, Ben? What’s going on?”

“L-Luke! Leia! Rex!”

Cody looked back up at Obi-Wan’s sleep couch. The toddlers were both sleeping, little limbs tangled together and held askew. “Rex isn’t here, remember? He went with Ahsoka to collect some _vode_. Hopefully. And the twins are okay, Ben. Everyone is okay. They’re sleeping, though, so hush.”

Obi-Wan looked thoroughly bewildered. He settled back in Cody’s arms; face screwed up as he evidently sorted through his memories. “I was…I was making them breakfast.”

Cody observed a blackened kettle on the fire stove. The flames had long since gone out. He laughed. The night was looming outside.

“Let me thank some Tusken Raiders, escort them off my property, get you and the kids cleaned up, and we’ll try that again together, okay?”

Obi-Wan gave a small smile that warmed Cody like the sunrise.

“Okay.”


	2. Rex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex reaches out to the homestead

Rex groaned, stripping neatly out of his stained spacer's flight suit and fetid body glove. He tossed them to the side, squeezing, naked, into his quarter's tiny sonic stall and jamming the button with his elbow.

The recognizable feeling of inaudible, purifying energy ran down his body. Gooseflesh rippled across his arms and chest before the damaged heat function crackled to life with a whimpering whir. The sonic ended, but Rex hit it back on again, flexing his shoulders under the heater in an attempt to loosen the painful knot residing at the nape of his neck.

Predictably unsuccessful, Rex sidestepped out of the unit and pulled a pair of fresh blacks out of his travel bag. They were soft, clean, and warm, and Rex buried his face in the simple comfort before shaking them out and slipping them on.

It felt so good to get changed. He cast a thought to the six unconscious troopers in the cargo hold. He needed to fetch their new clothes as well.

But first things first.

_I need to call Cody._

Rex was supposed to be home by now. The mission had run almost three rotations too long. Still, he hadn't had the opportunity to contact the homestead in over a week. Rex pulled a face, knowing he was in for it. Being late was one thing, but lack of communication was entirely another. Failing to check-in during a mission was one of his brother's ultimate pet peeves.

Rex fished around the bottom of his bag for his encrypted hologram-functioning puck. He found it after a few swipes, pulling it out and setting it on a crate beside his cot. He sat on the bed with an appreciative sigh, legs burning with cramps from standing so long.

He tapped in Cody's frequency.

Cody materialized after a few sputters. He looked downright exhausted-face sleep creased, and his thick, unruly curls flattened absurdly to one side of his head. His eyes frantically searched Rex's face.

"Rex! You're alive," he whispered intensely, voice gravelly and accent just an edge too thick for intelligible Basic. "Are you alright, vod? Where the hell are you?"

Rex nodded reassuringly, wishing he could reach through the projection's blue glow and steady the man. He'd missed him so much. His rock. His _ori'vod._ It hadn't been his intention to scare his brother. Cody already bore too much weight on his shoulders. "We're alright, Cody. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I forgot how late it is there. _Osik,_ I hope I didn't wake everyone."

_Stupid mistake._

Cody roughly scrubbed at his unshaven face with his free hand, then cast his eyes skyward. "Force, bless."

He was silent for an extended moment, almost certainly trying to get his brain back online. Rex could relate to the feeling. Being woken unexpectedly was near heart attack inducing, now. Such incidents always left him feeling ill with trapped, unexpended momentum.

"You're going to send me to an early grave," Cody growled quietly. He moved to stand from his bed but drew up short, flinching hard and reflexively biting a fist to muffle a cry.

Rex moved forward uselessly, alarmed. " _Osi'kyr!_ Careful, _Kote!_ You alright?"

_I have to build him a better mattress when I get home. That one is trash. No support…_

Cody made a sharp dismissive gesture, face rigid and eyes fixed sightlessly on his blankets. He took a moment of visibly hardening his resolve, puffing out a rhythmic pattern of calming breaths. On an inhale, he lurched to the side, gasping as his bad leg liberated itself from the bedclothes, and his hand flew down to clutch his hip as he panted through evident agony.

"Fuck. Oh, fuck." He hunched over, radiating suffering. "Kriffing, fucking damn it. What did I do to deserve all these _di'kutla_ little brothers?"

Rex gave a strained, patient smile. Guilt and anxiety pooled deep in his gut. "This job ran a little longer than we were predicting," he offered pointlessly.

"No, shit. You're four rotations late. You could've been dead or worse." Cody muttered, distracted.

Rex watched unhappily as he reached down and bodily hauled his leg over the side of the mattress, pounding on his thigh a bit unkindly with a downturned palm. Rex cringed. Cody occasionally employed more aggressive methods to dissipate numbness and stimulate circulation after being immobile for too long. It seemed to work for him, but it was a process that was hard for Rex to watch.

Just as Rex opened his mouth to intervene, a tenuous, slumber congested voice drifted into the audio receptor from offscreen. "Did something happen?"

_General Kenobi._

Cody's eyes widened impossibly, and his face fell. He ceased the hitting immediately and grimaced guiltily. "Wait-I- stand by, _Rex'ika_. Ben is waking up. _Pare sol_."

Wondering why this was cause for so much alarm and attention, Rex frowned and patiently listened as Cody finally stood and staggered across the room, murmuring something inaudible.

"They haven't come home. Did someone…?" Kenobi's tone of voice was burdened with defeat. He sounded…off. Tiredly resigned and strange, like he was concussed or drunk.

Cody made a tiny, worried noise and pocketed his com, obstructing Rex's view of the room's happenings. "No. Ben, please. Lay back down, _jetii._ You're still exhausted. _"_

"Both?"

"No, no one has died. They'll be home soon. Peace. Lay down. Please, for me."

"You're sure? You feel-"

Cody let out a fondly exasperated rumble. "Yes, I'm sure. Ben. I've not ever lied to you before. Rest. I'll go to the cellar to talk, so I don't disturb you anymore."

Rex knit his brow further, a little concerned. " _Kote_!" he called out loudly, hoping he could be heard from his pocket prison. " _Me'bana_? Let me talk to him, _ner'vod._ "

Cody's reluctant face reemerged briefly before being replaced by Obi-Wan's wide-eyed countenance. He looked drawn, unwell. Leia was asleep, crushed up against his side, and Luke was hanging off his neck, looking comfortable but half-awake. After a moment of absorbing Rex's presence, the redhead smiled and let out a shaky, relieved sigh. "Captain. Hello."

Rex put on the face he reserved for wounded or shell-shocked brothers. He didn't know what was happening, but Cody's behavior told him just enough to go on for now. "Hello, Ben. It's good to see you. I miss all of you terribly. What's going on? You feeling okay, General?"

Kenobi's face developed a decidedly familiar shuttered expression, but his smile lingered firmly in place. His gaze sharpened, shedding the fatigue, and quickly losing all vulnerability. Rex hated it.

The more mature part of him recognized Obi-Wan was just trying to protect him and keep him from being emotionally compromised on the job. Still, it was upsetting to think of the darker implications of this mask. That Obi-Wan had had it on as long as he'd known him, easily deflecting attention from an unseen, bottomless wellspring of pain.

"Of course!" the Jedi said brightly. "The Cosmic Force is just…loquacious lately. An aggressive vision has left me feeling a bit tired. Nothing serious. And certainly nothing I've not dealt with before."

Cody sighed long-sufferingly as Rex opened his mouth to gently chide him for his attempt to deceive. Obi-Wan cut them off with a raised, placating hand, likely sensing the surge of opposition. The Jedi briefly allowed sadness to show around his eyes. "I'm okay." He looked down at Luke, whose head was nestled against his bare collarbone. "The details _cannot_ be spoken about in front of the children. Please. _Gedet'ye, alor'ad._ I beg you. Have patience with me."

Rex exhaled, chastened. "I'm sorry, Ben. I'm just a bit worried about you."

Obi-Wan nodded and wavered, seeming to abruptly lose some of his strength. Cody's arm reached out and steadied him as he closed his eyes and slowly leaned back on his pillows. "No need to be worried, my friend. How is Ahsoka? Is she alright? Did you manage to collect any more of your brothers?"

Rex smiled again, accepting the change of subject. "She's doing great. Energetic. Uninjured. Taking care of the boys as we speak. We got six this time 'round."

"Good. I'm so very glad… that's… .that's wonderful, Rex." The energy in Obi-Wan's voice was diminishing rapidly. "To be honest, that…really eases my mind."

Cody gently took the com from Obi-Wan's hands and set it beside him. He pulled the bed's thick-woven blankets back up over Obi-Wan's body. "Okay. That's enough. You go back to sleep. I'm going to the cellar. I need to talk to Rex about something important. Give a shout if you need me."

"Wait!" Obi-Wan interjected, apparently hauling himself back from the edge of unconsciousness. He adjusted Luke's placement on his chest. "Pardon me, Rex. I don't mean to keep you online for too long. Cody. You feel...terrible. It's excessive. Please, take my hand."

Cody shook his head, vehemently. His growing, dark curls bounced with the movement. "No, General. Thank you, but you are in no condition…to…argh! No! General!"

Rex raised his eyebrows as Obi-Wan raised an unsteady hand and pressed it carefully against Cody's brow. He'd paused at his shout, examining Cody's face for permission. "Gedet'ye _, Kote."_

"Ben…"

"I'll be fine. Please believe me. I've been resting for a while now. It's no trouble, truly."

Rex's battered heart swelled. Not for the first time, he thanked the stars that his favorite brother had been assigned to this _jetii_ all those years ago. A true _jetii_ that cared so genuinely and deeply about an inconsequential clone's wellbeing. Obi-Wan had his weaknesses. They all did. But he tried so hard for his men. Rex was certain he would trust Cody to the care of no other natborn alive.

Cody quickly cut his gaze to Rex. "Rex, do you need to go?"

Although likely not apparent to those unfamiliar with him, Rex knew Cody was mortified at having his injury addressed openly on a com call. He didn't want Rex to leave, but he was nonverbally asking for permission to indulge in some reprieve without judgment. This incident was off-limits for future ribbing. Cody had been conditioned to be a Clone Commander since he'd been nothing but cells swirling in a decanter. He was built to be exemplar and superior in every conceivable way. The idea of expressing vulnerability in front of other clones, even Rex, often tripped him up.

Rex gave him a supportive look and shook his head, "I have hours of hyperspace ahead of me. You said you need to talk to me? I'm here for you, _vod._ Get a little pain control in, and we'll talk after. Don't worry about me right now."

Cody huffed, looking extraordinarily conflicted, but seemed to relent after a few more moments of consideration. He looked back down at Obi-Wan. "Only a _little_ bit. Do _not_ be reckless with it-"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, clearly waiting. Cody slowly rocked his head forward into Obi-Wan's open palm.

"Settle," Obi-Wan murmured, nearly inaudible to Rex's ears. "You know what to do to help me. I don't have the resilience to help you drop your shields at the moment."

Rex watched Cody struggle to let himself relax. His eyes looked wild. "Yeah. Yeah…okay."

"Take the shroud off your discomfort. Let me see the whole of it in the Force. Let go. Let go of your pride, let go of your shame. I am one with the Force…"

Cody started and choked off a grieved yell, the visible part of his face twisting harshly. His frame locked up with tension. "And the Force…ow…and the Force is…oh no…with me."

Rex could see Obi-Wan's brow furrow and his jaw set in concentration. "Good work, _Kote_. _Excellent_ work."

Cody's broken body gradually slumped, the rigid lines of him softening. When it appeared to be done, he looked down at the Jedi dazedly. "Too much." He laughed shakily, sounding helplessly giddy with relief. "As always. _Vor entye_ , Ben." He stretched, face childlike in awe. " _Kandosii'la!"_

"G-good."

"Rest. Go to sleep. I'm going downstairs. I'll wake you for breakfast."

"M'kay," Obi-Wan mumbled, looking mostly comatose. " _K'oyacyi_ , Rex."

"Good night, General. Thank you. _K'oyacyi._ See you soon. _"_

Cody leaned over and quietly kissed Luke and Leia's brows. Rex saw him hover over Obi-Wan for a fraction of a moment, but he stood quickly.

"Okay, Rex'ika, wait one."

" _Kih'parjai_ ," Rex responded absently, watching the familiar interior of the homestead drift by as Cody made his way downstairs. He was moving almost like he used to. Rex's chest ached.

Cody finally made it to his destination, dropping into a chair and throwing the com upon a surface in front of him.

Rex squinted suspiciously behind him. "Is that my kriffing bantha blanket, _vod_?

Cody turned, looking at the clothes washing unit behind him. "Err…yeah?"

"What happened? That's my _good_ blanket. I just cleaned it!"

Cody smirked, facial scar scrunching. "Yeah, well, it was back in the dirt, so just be happy I moved it. Also, we're going to need some more spores for the garden. Some Raiders stripped it clean."

Rex felt a swoop of disappointment in his belly. He'd been so excited to see the progress. "No! Really? That's a whole month of work!"

Cody's eyes softened. "I'm sorry, _vod'ika_. I'll help you fix it. You know I will."

Rex sighed. He felt like he was starting to understand the Jedi better every day. No attachments indeed. "How's your leg, _vod_? Not now, obviously. But that was pretty bad…"

Cody gave a startled grunt, and a slow smile appeared on his face. The smile he used when he found something genuinely entertaining. Crinkled eyes and an upturned corner of his mouth, but never baring any teeth. It was amazing how much the pain relief had impacted his temperament. "You don't have to ask after it every time you call, _Rex'ika_. I'm going to start thinking you care more for my stupid leg than you do for the rest of me. It's become its own entity. We should give it a name."

Rex glowered sternly, but it was all for show. It was good his naturally reserved _ori'vod_ was indulging in a playful mood. "You got my favorite blanket dirty, and you let Raiders fuck up my garden. I'll ask about your damn leg as many times as I want to ask."

Cody released a bark of delighted, shocked laughter. He quickly smothered it with the back of his hand and glared at Rex accusingly. Rex beamed affectionately. One of his favorite things about Cody was that when he laughed, he always seemed surprised by it, like the expression of his own humor was a devious thing that had sneaked up and pounced on him.

"Damn, _vod'ika_. I didn't know it was that serious. I'll wash your stupid blanket. Don't get your little blacks in a twist."

Rex crossed his arms theatrically and made a display of scrutinizing his gloved fingers. He flicked away an invisible speck of dust and sat back on the bed. "Hm."

Cody huffed softly, pausing to take a long swig of something in a bottle. He grumbled something under his breath and wiped his mouth with a sleeve. "It's a busted leg. It hasn't changed since we last spoke if that's what you're asking. If I had to describe it-"He waved a heavily scarred hand, drawing out the words melodramatically as if he were a _jetii_ spouting something purposefully profound. "I would say it feels the way you would imagine a busted leg feeling."

Rex deftly sidestepped the attempt at deflection, heart sinking. "So, it's really bothering you. More than normal. Your hip and back as well?"

Cody shrugged, looking genuinely confused. The levity on his face dissipated and was replaced with an unhappy tightness. "What's the point of saying yes? There's nothing to do about it. The surgery and the bacta helped. The General keeps it manageable." Cody lightly rubbed at the slice of scar tissue lining his lateral orbital rim, which he unconsciously did when feeling uneasy. Cody may seem stoic to most, but he had a lot of tells. "You know that. You don't have to feel so guilty, Rex. It wasn't your fault."

But it _was_.

Rex winced. Cody's rescue held the record for being one of his and Ahsoka's most botched. The mission had started typically. After tracking the 212th to Kashyyyk, they'd laid a covert trap and started processing as many troopers as they dared. They'd spotted Cody by the grace of the Force itself, but they had underestimated him significantly. They'd thought they could bring him down with a stun and a neatly carry out the chip-removal procedure as they had with every other vod. But Cody had _never_ been easy to get the drop on. He'd dodged Rex's somehow inadequately aimed bolt and proceeded to fight them harder than any other trooper they'd ever attempted to liberate. His wild, ridiculous _ori'vod_ had nearly cost them the entire operation with the spectacle he'd caused.

 _Kote_ in battle was _mandokarla_ embodied. In hindsight, Rex really should have expected nothing less of Jango's glory and Alpha-17's pride and joy _._ ARCs were one thing, but members of Squad Seven were on _another level_ of drama.

Cody had used everything in his elite Clone Marshal Commander-trained arsenal-ferociously spin-kicking, punching, hip-checking, body slamming, headbutting-until Ahsoka, unthinking and desperate to suppress him, caught his thigh amid one of his deadly kicks and ruthlessly _twisted_ with Force backing her. Rex would never forget the sound-a ghastly, shattering snap so painful and unexpected and aggressive that it left Cody instantly limp and stunned, soundlessly gaping. Rex had no choice but to then take advantage of the moment and descend on him- clumsily carving into his scalp and blindly digging out his chip.

Suffice to say it could have gone better.

Rex leaned forward, trying to catch Cody's now sullenly downcast eyes. "Even so, I _am_ sorry, _Kote._ Really."

Cody shifted uncomfortably, purposefully avoiding Rex's gaze. _"Wer'cuy, vod."_

"I don't mean to stress you out all the time."

Cody snorted loudly. Rex ignored him.

"Look, I'm not saying you need to make some sort of miraculous recovery. I just don't like you in pain. That simple. It's just… we'll be dropping this batch off at the rendezvous point. Do you want me to pick you up anything?" The implication was clear cut.

That triggered another smirk. Cody clutched at his chest, eyes wide. "Why, you trying to deal me drugs, _vod_? Alpha would have a stroke."

Rex rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, what Alpha doesn't know won't kill him. I know you don't want anything addictive. Do you want me to wrangle some light dampeners?"

Cody tilted his head, considering. "We need a resupply of medical equipment in general. Anything you can get would help _all_ of us out. Speaking of which…" he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "Have any of our _baar'ur_ brothers stuck around at the drop point?"

Rex looked at him closely. "Yeah, I don't think anyone has left, really. No medics, certainly. Why, do you need to talk to one?"

Cody shook his head. "I'm starting to think we might need one here—permanent position. Ideally, one that's worked with Ben before. One familiar with caring for _jetii._ He's… he's not doing so well. I need help with him. And I want the kids checked out and cared for."

A warm, uplifting feeling filled Rex at the idea of more brothers at the homestead. "I'll find one for you, _ori'vod_. You can count on me."

Cody blessed him with a rare, beaming smile. "Of course I can."

Rex smiled back. His arm commlink chimed shrilly. Ahsoka's voice floated toward him.

"Hey there, Captain. Your brothers are waking up."

Cody nodded. "Keep me updated, Rex. I'm glad you're alright. _K'oyacyi."_

_"K'oyacyi, ori'vod."_

Rex quickly dressed and made his way to the cargo hold. The troopers were indeed awake, whispering amongst themselves and holding their heads.

Rex crossed his arms, assessing the body language of six lightly bleeding clones. The familiar whir of hyperspace travel enveloped the cargo hold, and the deck beneath them vibrated aggressively under the mechanical strain. Rex moved to brace himself, stabilizing against the bulkhead.

"Alright, shut up. Armor off, strip to your blacks. How does everyone feel?"

The trooper furthest from him, an early batch brother with greying, close-cropped hair and a broken nose, coughed out a laugh. "Damn. You not gonna sweet talk us a little first, Captain?"

Rex kept his face carefully void of expression. These boys were rightfully nervous, but they weren't out of the woods yet. "Follow your orders, Lieutenant Law. Reserve your jokes for another time."

The squad moved to comply, shitty 187th Legion stormtrooper shells clattering to the deck in heaps. Ahsoka entered the hold silently, standing back respectfully.

"I feel like _osik,_ to be honest," a clean-cut trooper in the middle offered mournfully, toeing off his scuffed plastoid shoes. "I don't think I've ever been this confused in my life. What the actual fuck is going on? Did I finally die? _Manda_ is disappointing."

Another clean-shaven trooper with a shock of curiously straight, wildly fluffy black hair touched his raw chip incision and then stared at his blood-stained fingers. He smiled dopily. "We're saved. The Force is truly with us," he said emphatically, looking excitedly around at his brothers. "Horns, I told you it would be. I felt it. We're awake! I told you about my dream before the end of the war. Do you remember?"

Rex stared at him, startled. They needed to get this trooper to a healer, and soon. He exchanged a meaningful look with Ahsoka. Chip removal had the potential to lead to irreversible brain trauma. He thought he'd been careful, but-

The trooper that had spoken before wiggled his body gloved toes, and groaned. He hid a smile by tilting his head at the ceiling. "See, now I know I'm not dead. Not even the Force would be cruel enough to send fucking _Glitch_ to my afterlife."

Unaffected, Glitch turned to the trooper and gripped his shoulders, shaking him animatedly. "Horns. Horns. I did it, _vod."_

Horns wrinkled his nose, putting up his arms defensively. "You haven't done shit, you fucking dumbass." He slapped rather benignly at his assailant, hands flapping. "Ew, stop touching me! You have your nasty-ass blood all over your hands!"

Glitch dropped his hands but kept a high wattage grin. "I won't apologize for successfully communing with the Force."

Horns gagged, inspecting his body glove for stains. "I wish you would."

Rex stepped forward. "Enough! Horns, get the rest of your armor off. Glitch, was it? Do you remember hitting your head, trooper?"

Glitch stood dutifully at attention; smile gone. "No, Sir. I do not think I sustained head trauma beyond the wound on my scalp, sir."

A titter weaved through the squad. Rex frowned, confused. "Is there a joke?" he asked the other troopers sternly.

Ahsoka moved forward, looking concerned but thoughtful. "Rex, can you go ahead and call forward to medical for trooper Glitch?"

Glitch broke attention, appearing perplexed and a little sad. "I'm not concussed! Why does everyone I meet accuse me of being concussed?"

"I wonder." drawled a disinterested Lieutenant Law, looking distinctly like he'd had this very conversation before.

"Well, I'm not. I can feel the Force. I've always felt it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is very welcome.
> 
> Note: Law, Glitch, and Horns are not original characters of mine-they come from an old (now Legends) Clone Wars comic called "The Clone Wars: Defenders of the Lost Temple." I read it a long time ago and I completely fell in love with Glitch, a clone trooper who believes he's Force-sensitive. He's the most precious thing, and I wish he got more love in fic. I recommend checking out his Wookieepedia entry if you want to know more about him.


	3. Obi-Wan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan struggles to recover from the effects of his vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:
> 
> -A brief flashback with some graphic imagery  
> -Some non-graphic suicidal ideation
> 
> Please heed the tags!

Obi-Wan woke to the rich smell of caff and soap filling the homestead.

He stretched, little sleep couch creaking with his shifting weight. He kept his eyes closed, taking stock. He couldn't hear Cody's light snores from the other side of the room, and the twins were no longer laying on his chest. He dragged his hand across the sheets beside him, blindly seeking them out.

Gone.

Worry rose inside him, and he turned his head, cracking open bleary eyes. It was still dark outside, and the milky light from the trio of Tatooine's moons cast a soft glow through the windows. He glanced toward the kitchen. The harsh fluorescent lights were on, and the blazing beams of light made him squint. Cody must be up already. He and Cody had made a habit of getting up before the suns. They'd done it during the war, and the practice carried easily into their civilian life. The homestead's duties were much more pleasant to complete when one wasn't fighting oppressive heat.

Obi-Wan craned his neck a bit, spotting him. Cody was lounging at the kitchen table, dressed in fresh white tunics and hair shimmering with moisture. He was slumped back in his chair, legs splayed wide, and a mug was clutched tightly under his nose. His nostrils flared as he breathed in the churning eddies of steam, and his eyes were closed, sooty lashes fluttering in pleasure. The lines of him were carelessly slackened in a way that had become rare for him. Luke and Leia sat across from Cody at the table, smearing globs of grey porridge and bright red fruit all over their faces as they oscillated between chattering unintelligibly and squealing with delight.

Obi-Wan gave a soft, relieved sigh.

_There they are._

The former Marshall Commander took a deep sip of caff, then broke for air, coughing and grumbling sleepily. Apparently electing to ignore the madness ensuing before him, he set his mug down and reached for his battered mantra book, which was cracked open, face down, on one of his thighs. Cody flipped it over, dark gold eyes flicking over the pages thoughtfully. He pulled a plasteel ink pen out of his breast pocket and jotted something very carefully into the margins. His eyes were hazy with contentment, and a small, private smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

Something protective in Obi-Wan's chest relaxed, satisfied.

In addition to speaking with his brother, the paltry amount of relief he'd been able to provide last night might have done some good for Cody's state of mind. Almost everything about Cody was pleasantly centered and tranquil. His pain was not gone, but it was on the backburner, far from the forefront of his thoughts. He emanated a warm, sweet light, and Obi-Wan happily basked in it.

It had been so long.

Obi-Wan's stomach twinged sharply with guilt. He knew it was his fault that Cody was under so much undue stress. The homestead alone was challenging enough to look after with no help, but the twins could be nearly overwhelming, especially for a caretaker with no access to the Force.

The youngling's abilities were beginning to establish themselves, and their combined lack of control often expressed itself in childishly mischievous ways. Obi-Wan wasn't worried overmuch about it. Testing limitations was a normal stage of development for Jedi young, albeit a difficult one for wardens. Not unlike their father, Luke and Leia could be little hellions when they wanted to be.

Nevertheless, it wasn't Cody's duty to raise Anakin and Padme's children. It was his. He never wanted Cody to feel as if that was an expectation.

Obi-Wan had tried to get back on his feet quickly after his decidedly nonconsensual tryst with the Force, but if he was honest, the raw power exchange that had taken place during that episode had come a hairsbreadth from taking his life. It had been nearly two weeks since the incident, but he still couldn't shake the aching exhaustion that seemed to be imbued in his every cell. Sometimes it felt like the same energy it took to breathe was draining him. His head felt heavy, and his muscles were tight with aching tension. He had bitten the inside of his cheeks during the fit, so his healing mouth was inflamed and tender.

The worst part, however, was the damage done to his mindscape. It would likely heal with time, but his connection with the Force felt unpleasant and oversensitized. It was continually feeding him information he didn't care to examine-loud impressions of the past that laid his every failure bare to scrutiny. He felt desolate. Worn to fibers. Anakin's screams echoed ceaselessly in his mind. Late at night, when Cody's voice and the children's antics weren't there to distract him, it was hard to remember why he'd allowed himself to keep living. Why he'd ever thought he wouldn't destroy Luke and Leia like he had Anakin.

A loud screech broke the comfortable din of the homestead, and Obi-Wan nearly jumped to his feet. The Force nudged lightly at his shields in warning.

Leia reached into her bowl of breakfast and then thrust a fist full of porridge triumphantly into the air. Cody's gaze brushed over her warily, and displaying an extraordinary sense of foresight that could only be developed by spending far too much time with Force users; he dropped from his chair and onto the floor. He shoved his book under his shirt protectively.

Predictably, there was a disgusting wet popping sound, and porridge blasted from her hand, slapping against the table and walls in vile globules. Luke wiggled and laughed uproariously. Obi-Wan winced. Well, there went the peaceful morning.

Cody looked up over the table cautiously. His face fell, surveying the aftermath. " _Ad'ika!"_ he whispered scoldingly. His Concord Dawn inflection was thick and blurry, as it always was when he was startled into speaking. _"Tion'jor? Wayii,_ kid!" He clambered up to a standing position, using the chair as a crutch. To Obi-Wan's surprise, a wide grin suddenly broke out on his face. "The spirit of the 501st lives on, eh?" He shook his head, unhurriedly limping further into the kitchen and grabbing a rag from the sink. He shoved the mantra book into his belt.

Obi-Wan relaxed at his reaction. He wasn't sure what he'd expected. Cody was so naturally patient. Of course he would take this in stride.

"You take after your terrible _bavodu'e_. Wait until I tell Rex. You're turning into a true _mando'ad_ , Leia. Ben's not going to like that."

Obi-Wan frowned, sitting up quickly and standing from his rumpled sleep couch. His vision swam, but he managed to appear steady. That was important. He needed Cody to allow him to help with the cleaning. "Nonsense," he said mildly. "I'm fond of quite a few Children of Mandalore. But even _mando'ade_ must have manners. Especially if they are to represent Jedi."

Cody dropped the rag, startling badly. He whipped around, facing Obi-Wan with turbulent eyes. Knives of alarm and agitation exploded from him, battering Obi-Wan's tender psyche. "Obi-Wan! How long have you been awake?"

 _Way to go, Kenobi._ Obi-Wan grimaced, absently smoothing over the effects of the onslaught with an additional layer of shielding. He walked over to him, concentrating hard on not falling. "Peace, Cody. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. Not long, please don't worry. Let me help you with all that. It's too much work for one."

Cody's posture eased, his mind shifting from feral instinct to mild embarrassment. He bent to pick up the dropped rag, bodyweight settling on his undamaged leg. As his dark tan hand grasped the rag, Obi-Wan saw his fingers tremble.

Obi-Wan reached out and gently took it from him as he stood. "I should have made more noise," he murmured regretfully. "Are you alright?"

Cody looked perplexed. He met Obi-Wan's gaze directly, and the Jedi had to fight the strange, overwhelming urge to look away. He was awfully close, and the warm, subtle scent of Cody's shampoo teased at the edges of his focus.

" _Elek_ ," Cody responded uncertainly. "Of course. Are you? I was about to wake you."

Obi-Wan grinned, pleased at the opportunity to distract Cody from his anxiety. "Yes, well. I had thought you'd said I'd be woken for the morning meal. It seems like it's already been well enjoyed." He waved his hand, indicating the disaster good-humoredly. Long, grating squeaks emanated from behind him. Leia was wiping her hands on the table.

Cody sighed. He looked abashed. "Well, I'd hoped I could get the chores done and feed these little womp rats before you woke." He seemed to consider something, then drew back, looking offended. "I haven't eaten. I wouldn't eat _lor'vram_ without you. I just had some caff."

Obi-Wan didn't know what to say to that. Cody seemed to have that effect on him.

It turned out it didn't matter, because Cody was suddenly taking him by the shoulder and ushering him toward the 'fresher. Obi-Wan stumbled a little but recovered. "Cleaning can wait," Cody said softly. "Let's get your business done first."

Obi-Wan flushed but didn't protest. He did need to do that. The fresher was still muggy from Cody's luxurious water shower, and Obi-Wan sighed, imagining he was back home, sitting in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. When he closed his eyes, he could see the beautiful spouts and streams twist through impossible greenery. Hear the birds and laughs of younglings. Smell the cool water and fragrant flowers.

It was hard to comprehend that it didn't exist anymore.

The indulgent fantasy was cut short. An invasive memory of the garden smoldering filled his mind's eye, the thick black smoke staining the windows while his family's bodies bobbed and floated face down in the filthy water.

Tears sprang unexpectedly into his eyes, and he dashed them away with a sleeve. He could feel Cody's polite gaze burning into the side of his face. Obi-Wan stared resolutely ahead. He prepared himself for the unwelcome question, but it never came. Cody pulled a fresh set of clothes and a fluffy towel from the closet outside the door and set them on the sink. "Use the toilet and get cleaned up." He said kindly. "You don't have to use the sonic. I've collected enough water over the past few days. The reservoir is full. I checked." His words were deliberate, professional, and clipped. Almost like his speech patterns had been during the war. The shape of Cody's words became clean of his naturally thicker accent, and his characteristic stream of supplementary Mando'a had ceased.

He didn't feel comfortable with something. He was putting up a front.

Obi-Wan didn't blame him. He could imagine his shift in behavior was making things uncomfortable. He nodded numbly.

Cody looked conflicted. He rubbed at the scar on his face. "I'll be right outside. Please call me if you feel too tired to do it on your own."

Obi-Wan nodded again stupidly, eyes burning, and a lump caught in his throat. He could taste Mustafar's ashes on his tongue.

Cody left him to his privacy, the door slowly sliding closed behind him.

Obi-Wan managed to get through most of his routine without collapsing. But, apparently, putting on his socks and boots was where his body drew the line. Every time he reached for his feet, a mushy buzzing sound would erupt in his ears, and his vision would grey out unpleasantly. After his fourth attempt, he clutched his tatty socks to his chest, breath coming in great tired gasps as he fought to stay upright.

Obi-Wan wanted to scream. This was so stupid. How long was this going to go on? He'd been resting for too long. He had people depending on him. What did the Force want from him? What else could it possibly want?

He shoved the thought away, frightened of its power. He shouldn't ask that. He should _never_ ask that. If he thought it, the universe would answer. It had happened before. There was always so much more the Force could take from him.

He thought of a faceless evil taking away the twins. Death claiming Cody. Rex. Ahsoka. Bail. Yoda. Something finally broke deep in his chest, and he released a sob as quietly as he could. Ashamed of his weakness, he dropped the socks, and he brought his hands up to cover his face. He shored the Force around him, pleading with it for comfort and control.

As if in answer, the fresher door whizzed open, and Cody was just _there_ , holding him tight against his warm, broad chest. " _K'uur, k'uur, jettii_. You're alright. You don't have to hide. Not from me." Cody took in a deep breath, shuddering. " _Haar'chak_. I _knew_ there was something wrong. I shouldn't have left you in here all alone. I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. _K'uur_."

Obi-Wan sniffed, frozen in shock. He'd forgotten how nice it was to be held so openly. Had he truly been so lonely? He'd shared countless hugs with people in his life, certainly, but it had been a rare occurrence in recent years. Obi-Wan had long understood there was something about him that made him…unapproachable. Anakin and Ahsoka had been affectionate with him at one point, early in the war, but they'd both presumedly grown out of it. Become more reliant on each other. More distant from him.

 _We are what they grow beyond_ , Yoda's voice reminded him. A distant memory.

_That is the true burden of all Masters._

_Yes_ , Obi-Wan agreed. _A burden unspoken._

He was enormously exhausted now. He let himself relax a bit into the embrace, and Cody murmured approvingly, gripping him tighter. "Let's get some food into you," he rumbled in Obi-Wan's ear. "You've been sleeping for ages. You must be half-starved."

Obi-Wan wobbled on his feet, drowning in shame. He listened to the sounds of Luke and Leia playing nearby. He needed to focus. His vision was starting to dull again. "Mmmph. M'boots, _Kote."_

Cody glanced down. "That's alright, _jetii_. _Udesii._ Forget them. You don't need them."

 _But what if there's an attack, or something happens, and I don't have my shoes on?_ Obi-Wan wanted to ask. A sad, hushed keen fell from his lips instead.

Cody patted his back supportively, endearingly unaware. "It's alright, Ben. I'm going to bring you back to the kitchen. Hold onto me, now. Don't let go." He moved to hoist Obi-Wan's arm over his shoulders.

"No. No. No. Noooo." Obi-Wan locked up, pushing him away with a gentle pulse of the Force. He panted, clutching the 'fresher's door jamb. "Your…leg. M'too heavy." _Don't you dare._

Cody, momentarily shocked by the mild shove, recovered, snorting in amusement. His eyes sparkled with mirth. He covered the laugh with a hand and a cough. "Then how do you propose we get there, _jetii_?"

_I don't know, but it's not going to be like that._

Obi-Wan shouldered past him, determined. He could feel Cody's disbelieving look bore into his back as he recklessly teetered on the path to the kitchen and collapsed gracelessly into one of the chairs. He slapped the porridge encrusted tabletop to declare his victory, issuing a jubilant groan. The world spun dizzyingly around him.

Cody wasn't as impressed. He swept past Obi-Wan without looking at him, a few filthy Mando'a curses tucked under his breath. Exasperation seeped from him, tainting the sweet light of earlier. Upon his arrival to the kitchen, Cody sighed loudly to indicate his disappointment before he began to tramp around, turning on the electric kettle for Obi-Wan's tea and pouring himself a second cup of caff. He took a giant gulp of his beverage before slamming the cup down and grabbing two clean bowls. He ladled in large portions of porridge, topping them generously with fruit, nerf butter, and honey—Obi-Wan's favorite.

Obi-Wan felt an aching heat rise in his chest. He refused to examine it.

Cody finished making his tea silently. He slowly transferred everything to the still filthy table and then sat near Obi-Wan, face relaxing in relief as the weight was taken off his injury. His aura had turned pensive. He quietly pushed Obi-Wan's meal towards him, followed by the hot mug of tea. The suns were just starting to rise. Cody's brown skin was highlighted by a lovely, soft peach glow as the rays leaked through the skylights.

Obi-Wan blinked, quickly casting his eyes away from Cody and towards the children in the shared living area. They were playing with their animal plushes and chatting amongst themselves. He couldn't hear what they were saying.

Cody's low voice drew him back. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Obi-Wan looked at him briefly, then let his eyes fall to his breakfast. "There is not really anything to say. Just a memory gone sour. A reminder of failure."

Cody looked at him sadly. "I never know what to do with those types of memories," he admitted. "Rex and I are working on dealing with those as well."

He pulled his mantra book from his belt. He placed it down, tapping on the cover. "This helped some. _'Failure is not the end; it is a necessary part of the path,"_ he quoted from memory. " _Failure is the greatest teacher.'_ "

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, fighting tears. How many times had Qui-Gon quoted this very passage to him? He took comfort in hearing the words spoken again. Cody had such a talent for knowing what to say and when to say it.

"Ben. Are you alright?"

He considered the question. He suddenly needed to know something. He'd asked so many times before, but things always changed. People always changed.

"Are you happy here?" he whispered, already dreading the answer. A solid lump formed in his throat. He hoped it didn't cut off his words. "You are a free man. Are you happy to keep living like this? Cleaning up after me? After Luke and Leia? Do you not want to go live out your life somewhere better? Or to start a family of your own? Father children from your own loins?"

He imagined Cody living somewhere lush, a beautiful mate on his arm. A joyous Cody finally being able to hold the curly-headed baby he'd so often projected about when he dreamt.

Obi-Wan knew he would let Cody go if he would be happier elsewhere. Even if one more loss would likely kill him.

He felt his fatigue grow. It threatened to envelop him.

Cody stared at him for a long time, spoon held in a stasis above his bowl. When he finally spoke, his eyes were hard, and his tone was hushed but commanding. "Obi-Wan. My place is here with you. _This_ is my family. My _allit._ My clan. These are my children. I performed _gai bal manda_. I have taken my vows, and I will raise Luke and Leia as my own."He took a deep breath. "I am their _buir_. That _demagolka_ no longer has a claim on these children. He would have to kill me. He revoked his rights to fatherhood when he struck down his own pregnant _riduur_ and murdered your young. There is no greater shame. He is _dar'buir_. His blood means nothing now."

Obi-Wan blinked, processing. He stared hard at the pool of rich honey on his porridge. Tears of relief pricked at the corners of his eyes. Cody reached over and touched his arm. "Look at me?" he asked gently.

Obi-Wan did, unsure what to expect. Cody smiled at him. "I am happy here. You ask so often. I know you do not believe me, but it's true. You can't get rid of me that easily."

Obi-Wan took a deep, cleansing breath and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lor'vram-breakfast  
> Udesii!-Calm down  
> Haar'chak!- Damn it  
> K'uur!- Hush  
> dar'buir-no longer a parent  
> buir- parent  
> riduur-spouse  
> gai bal manda- adoption ceremony, lit. name and soul  
> demagolka- someone who commits atrocties, a real-life monster, a war criminal  
> Tion'jor? -Why?  
> Wayii-Good grief!  
> bavodu'e- uncles
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Ahsoka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka and Rex arrive at the drop point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Lots of foul language, clone dehumanization, depictions of PTSD symptoms, lots of crying, misunderstandings of neurodiversity

Ahsoka began the landing cycle.

Moisture crystalized on the transparisteel in feathery whirls. The heavy pink clouds enveloping the ship gave way to a landscape coated in thickly drifted snow, rocky hills and craggy, weathered mountains breaching the surface to exhibit Hoth's treacherous topography. It was dawn, and the breaching sun's light refracting off the snow momentarily blinded her as she searched for a familiar landing pad. Spotting it, she swung the ship into position and slowly descended, the vivid flight path alignment lights guiding her movements.

A muted thump and whir, and the landing gear touched down on the duracrete. Ahsoka sighed in relief. Finally. This mission had taken _way_ too long. She was starving. Hopefully, they had some sort of meat available for breakfast on the mess decks. Or fresh nuna eggs. Hell, powdered nuna eggs. Any kind of eggs would be good, really. Sometimes it was hard being the only carnivore in a sea of omnivores. Humans had it so easy when it came to food options.

She was fantasizing about an unfeasibly delicious steak meal when a recognizable clamor surrounded the ship. Dozens of goggled, hooded heads bobbed outside the frosted cockpit canopy, and Ahsoka smirked in amusement as leather gloved hands slapped excitedly at it, trying to get her attention.

So, it begins.

 _"Open the cargo hold, Commander!"_ one of the figures bellowed, his resonant voice muffled by the thickness of the transparent material and the scarf covering his nose and mouth.

 _"Who do you have in there?"_ another shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth and pressing them against the window. It fogged under his breath. _"Commander! Anybody from 327th Star? Just nod! Yes or no?"_

Ahsoka shook her head. A surprised laugh punched out of her chest, and she made a few playful shooing motions with her hands. They grinned at her, and she saw one pull down his scarf to stick his tongue out at her mischievously. The cockpit hatch swished open, and Rex stalked in, fully kitted up in his cold-weather gear. As soon as they saw him, his brothers' figures slinked back from the shuttle, standing at a more courteous distance.

"That's what I thought," he growled, adjusting the collar of his fur-lined parka. He smacked the emergency blast shield function on the bulkhead, and with a smooth mechanical whir, they were sheltered from view. A cacophony of muffled boos erupted.

Smiling with the type of self-satisfaction unique to older brothers, he looked at Ahsoka, large amber eyes just visible above his white balaclava. "The boys are dressed, _vod'ika._ Are you ready? You got a cover for your montrals?"

Ahsoka pulled her own parka off the back of her chair. She checked the status of the cooling systems and ran through the shutdown checklist. There had been some odd turbulence during their time in jump space. She quickly typed out a request on the log for the inertial dampers to be evaluated. One of the men would surely take a look at it for her. "Yeah, let's go. Anything else on the itinerary besides drop-off and re-supply?"

Rex's mouth twisted uncertainly, and he sighed. "Uh. Well, yeah. During my check-in, Cody asked me to recruit a medic to stay with us. Permanently. The General is in a bad way."

_What?_

Ahsoka felt her heart drop. She swung to look at Rex, his words echoing in her mind. "Rex…" she said slowly. "What do you mean? What happened to Obi-Wan?"

He shrugged. "I…I don't really know? I think it's a _jetii_ illness. When I talked to him, he was so weak he could barely maintain a conversation. He said something about having a vision from the Force? Do those cause illnesses?"

Ahsoka stared at him. The Unifying Force had always been inordinately drawn to her Grandmaster, much to her own Master's historic dismay. Obi-Wan's gifts gave him a unique, wide-lens view of the universe: privy to whispers from the beginnings and the ends- the far pasts and the distant futures. "Bad feelings" and visions were a natural part of the package. He had most of them without missing a step. Quick little blips that ranged seconds to five minutes, tops. Recovery usually only required tea, a ration bar, or a short nap.

"He had a vision, and it's still affecting him? Bad enough to require medical assistance? Does he need a medevac? How long has it been?"

Rex looked like he might be embarrassed under his face coverings. "I guess I should have gotten more information for you. Sorry, _vod'ika_."

Ahsoka shook her head. "Don't worry. It's alright, Rex. Do you have your puck? Let's give them a quick call before we let these guys get integrated. I need to talk to Master Kenobi about Glitch, anyway."

Rex dropped into the co-pilot's chair and leaned forward, suddenly very attentive. He pulled his communicator puck from his belt. "So, you think he's really Force-sensitive, then?" he asked in a hushed voice. "Is that…is that even possible? I thought clones couldn't be!"

Ahsoka had thought so too. But perhaps not…the idea that certain beings could not be sensitive to the Force went against everything she'd been taught at the Temple. "The Force is not genetic. Life itself creates it. It is in every living thing, clone or not. And I don't just think he is, I know he is. He's unknowingly muted himself, but he feels relatively strong when you focus in on him hard enough. Probably strong enough for training."

Rex sat back. He pulled off his face coverings, mussing his growing blond curls. His cheeks were already flushed pink from the warmth of his clothes. He twisted the garment in his hands, looking stressed. "That… that's crazy. A clone could be a Jedi? A _Fett_ clone could be a Jedi?"

"I guess so," Ahsoka said wryly. "Master Kenobi is going to have to make the call on that one though. I'm no expert, but I think only High Council members call the shots on training wayward clone trooper Padawans."

"Clone trooper Padawans," Rex repeated in a dazed whisper. Ahsoka could practically taste the air quotes. " _Me'ven_?"

"Captain, I would tell you if I knew."

Rex pinched the bridge of his nose and placed the puck down between them. He punched in the homestead's frequency and faced it toward her.

After about a minute of chiming, Cody materialized. Rex, as always, brightened upon seeing him, happily settling back in his seat. Cody was sitting at the kitchen table, a pile of Force imagery testing cards in hand. He must be drilling the twins. Ahsoka had to admit she was surprised how devoted the former Marshal Commander was to training and parenting Luke and Leia. He really didn't do anything by halves.

" _Ahsoka,"_ he said, giving her a polite smile. His eyes were a little guarded. " _Ner'vod. How are you doing? Is everything alright? How can I help you?"_

Ahsoka smiled back, trying to exude friendliness while simultaneously swallowing down the guilt she felt every time she saw him. Even two and a half years after the accident, Cody was still very formal with her. Rex said that Cody understood why she did what she did and that he didn't hold a grudge, but for some reason, there was a part of him that feared her. He routinely fell into unnecessarily decorous speech when communicating with her, but Rex always assured her that he didn't even know he was doing it. Somehow, that made it worse.

"Hi, Cody. Your brother has been telling me a little bit about the situation you've got going on." She didn't want to stress him out too much. One of the many features of Cody's particular brand of battle shock included spiraling in the details of stressful situations. She would keep this brief and limited to only what she needed to know. Non-emotional was best. "I know you probably have everything well in hand, but I wanted to check in. Make sure you two are alright. Do you feel it would be best to maintain the plan, or should I arrange a medevac for you?"

Cody didn't look surprised by the query. He put down the cards. _"I am not a Jedi,"_ he said slowly, deliberately. _"I do not fully understand what is going on, but the General assures me he is stable. It would be ideal to get him evaluated at a facility, but you don't need me to tell you an extraction would be extremely risky for both him and the welfare of the clan."_

Ahsoka wondered if Cody knew how much he sounded like a governing _alor._ It didn't feel as out of place as she would have thought. She nodded. "It would have to be a true emergency," she hazarded. The Empire had recently started to take a casual interest in monitoring Tatooine's traffic. A clean extraction had the potential to be…difficult.

 _"Then I believe my original plan is the best response for now,"_ Cody said, folding his hands under his chin. _"Do you need to speak with him yourself? He's up."_

Ahsoka nodded again. "Yes. Thank you, Cody."

Cody reached forward, and her Grandmaster's familiar form replaced his. He was sitting at the table as well, Luke sitting on his knee. He looked weary but characteristically amused. _"Will I never escape everyone's scheming_?" he sighed dolefully, casting his eyes to the heavens.

 _Whoops._ Ahsoka grinned at him, caught. "Sorry, Master," she chirped in a tone that indicated she was not at all sorry. "It's all out of love, I swear."

Obi-Wan made a doubtful sound, rubbing at his beard. He looked exhausted. _"Is everything alright there? I've needed to call Bail to check on funding, but_ …" he trailed off, lids falling to half-mast.

"Are you really okay, Master?" Ahsoka asked sincerely. She hoped he was. She wasn't sure she could bear otherwise.

_"Yes, of course. I'm not dead yet."_

Ahsoka rolled her eyes openly and pursed her lips. She didn't think she would ever get a straight answer out of her Grandmaster so long as she lived. Likely bored at the lull in his training, Luke twisted and pushed at Obi-Wan to be let down. Her Grandmaster acquiesced, supporting him under the arms as he jumped off his lap. " _Now, I sense there's something else on your mind?"_

Straight to the point, then. Fine. She took a deep breath. "Master, I've encountered a Force-sensitive clone. No question. I can sense it."

Ahsoka could hear Cody make a dumbfounded choking sound from behind the communicator. Rex chuckled. "Careful, _ori'vod_."

Obi-Wan glanced over at Cody's position beyond the projector, then beckoned for him to sit beside him. There was a terrible screech of chair legs on tile, and Cody appeared in the projection as well, face open and nearly childlike in shock. They both leaned forward, unconsciously in sync.

 _"You're certain?"_ Obi-Wan asked, eyes wide. _"That's news indeed."_

"His presence is very muffled, but bright. He has a natural affinity for _altus sopor…_ he's shielding himself, but I don't think he knows what he's doing. He's presenting very much like how a Seeker would find him." Ahsoka said, sitting forward as well. "His brothers report almost intrusive intuitive thoughts and feelings. _Prima vitae_ and _tactus otium_. He's exhibited multiple attempts to communicate with plants, animals, and inanimate objects. Apparently, he has…well, all the works for a burgeoning adept. Pretty much what you would expect from an isolated Force-sensitive youngling."

Ahsoka didn't miss Obi-Wan's tiny involuntary recoil at the mention of seekers and younglings. She felt a tug of guilt for speaking so carelessly, but Cody was nudging Obi-Wan with his shoulder reassuringly, pressing close.

Rex narrowed his eyes and smirked.

 _"He is in danger, then."_ Cody prompted, seamlessly taking over. He looked at Obi-Wan closely. The skin around his eyes was creased with an indistinguishable emotion.

Obi-Wan leaned back a little in his chair, tugging on his beard. He kept his eyes down but didn't draw entirely away from Cody's subtle touch. _"Yes… you're right. We should not risk his security or his discovery. Force-sensitives are being taken in droves to suit the Empire's purposes."_

Ahsoka glanced back up at Rex. He was clutching his face coverings impatiently, waiting for the verdict with bated breath. She smiled at him knowingly. He was desperate for more of his brothers to live with him. The more, the better, in his eyes.

Obi-Wan peeked at Cody, and they exchanged a long look. Cody shrugged innocently, but Ahsoka knew he was just silently conspiring with Rex. There was a telling gleam in his eye that gave him away. Manipulative little shits, the two of them. _"I think it would be best if he stayed with us, here. We are already training two, why not add a third?"_

Obi-Wan let out a small laugh. _"Stars, three padawans. Easy for you to say."_ There was something tumultuous and apprehensive in his eyes, but he smiled. _"Very well. I…I don't want him to come to harm. If he is willing, we will prepare to keep him and our new medic. I am excited to meet them both."_

Rex threw his head back and whooped. Cody grinned with his teeth exposed, which Ahsoka knew was rare indeed. He was always responsive to his brother's happiness. " _Oya._ " he murmured warmly.

Rejuvenated by renewed purpose, Ahsoka and Rex said their farewells. They made their way back to the cargo hold where the men were waiting silently, bundled up tightly in parkas, hats, and scarves.

"Welcome to paradise, boys," Rex said, walking over to the hatch control on the bulkhead. The babble of the rowdy crowd outside created a light echoing din. "We'll get some chow first, then we'll escort you to medical. Only after Captain Borvo clears you are you dismissed to get integrated. Stick close to us." He looked back at Ahsoka, waiting for her cue.

Ahsoka scanned the group for Glitch. He was standing in the very back, rocking nervously from heel to toe. As she started moving towards him, one of his brothers quickly reached up and gripped him by the back of the neck, forcing him to stay still. He struggled a little under the concentrated weight of the grasp, then settled.

Interesting. She hoped Glitch wasn't getting bullied by his brothers. She'd been around clones long enough to know it wasn't impossible. She glanced at the offending trooper. Horns, from earlier.

_Hm._

Ahsoka caught Glitch's wide-eyed gaze. "Glitch, you stay with me a moment, alright? I need to talk to you."

To her astonishment, Glitch's face abruptly drained of color, and Horns began to shift from one foot to the other agitatedly. Horns wrung his hands, glancing anxiously at his brother. Glitch seemed to have some understanding of why. He stared hard at the deck.

Ahsoka frowned. _What did I do? Did I say something wrong?_

After a split second of visibly steeling himself, Horns suddenly jolted forward, looking every inch a man ready to risk it all. "Look… you're not going to send him to get culled, or something, are you?" He laughed nervously. "He's not as defective as he sounds, I swear. He can still work. I can vouch for him. We've served together since the Battle of Ryloth. He's a loyal soldier, really. He just has a really big imagination, okay?" His breath hitched, repressed panic making his lips blanch a little. They trembled minutely at the edges. "He _does_ know better. He won't say anything about the Force again. Will you Glitch? You'll stay quiet, work hard, and keep your head down? Yeah?"

Glitch nodded submissively at the deck, shoulders sagging. His big brown eyes were damp and filled with resignation. Some of the other troopers surrounding him shifted uncomfortably.

Ahsoka's heart clenched. Not bullying, then. Just one brother looking out for the other. Horns was worried that Ahsoka would perceive Glitch's quirks as justification for his disposal. Had they been worrying about her reaction this entire time? She wondered how many times Glitch had been threatened with decommissioning. She prayed that whatever Jedi he'd served under had never done such a thing. Not every General had been as charitable with the troopers as Master Plo, Anakin, and Obi-Wan. Still, she had a difficult time imagining a Jedi could hold such blatant disregard for the Code. Maybe they'd served under a secret Separatist sympathizer?

Awful.

Ahsoka held up her hand. "Horns. Glitch. Everyone. This is not a labor camp, nor is this the GAR. You are free men now. I hold no jurisdiction over your lives. You do not have to fear me, or anyone here. This base exists only for your safety."

Horns looked doubtful. He tugged Glitch behind him. Fire blazed to life in his eyes. "What do you want with him, then?" he demanded, chin jutting out defiantly.

Poor things. They were terrified. Ahsoka looked over at Rex. "Go ahead and take the rest of these guys to chow, Rex. The galley is going to close soon. I'll catch up."

Rex nodded, face juxtaposed between bewilderment and understanding. He pulled down his goggles and pressed the hatch control. The cargo bay's comfortable temperature was instantly sucked away, and a frigid sigh of wind carrying a light flurry buffeted them. The crowd outside cheered, and the mob of clones moved in to inspect the new arrivals. Rex waved. "I'll save you all some plates."

Ahsoka waved back gratefully and turned back to Glitch and Horns. Glitch was quivering in what looked to be a combination of anxiety and painful cold, and he pulled up his scarf to shield his nose and mouth from the frosty gusts. _"The Force flows through me,"_ she could hear him whisper very quietly to himself. _"The Force flows through me. The Force flows through me. The Force flows through me…"_

"Hush, Glitch." Horns ordered sharply, not taking his eyes off Ahsoka. His hands flexed like they were itching for the grip of a blaster. " _Udesii, vod'ika_. I've got you. Shut up."

Ahsoka reached out and touched Horn's shoulder placatingly. He flinched hard but didn't throw her off. "Horns, Glitch is Force-sensitive. He's very gifted. All I wanted to do was talk with him about an opportunity to be trained. I was never going to hurt him. I will _never_ harm him, okay?"

Glitch dropped his hands from his mouth. "I knew it," he breathed.

Horns froze, then sneered. "Force-sensitive?" He looked at her like she was teasing him, then wrinkled his forehead in quizzical amusement. "Uh…yeah, no. You believed him? Sorry…there must be some confusion. He just thinks he is. His tank malfunctioned during his growth cycle, that's all. His wires are crossed a little."

Ahsoka frowned, frustrated. Is this what Glitch had to deal with? "I assure you he is. I doubt very much that his growth cycle was different from any other clone."

"You want to train me?" Glitch interrupted. His whole body was shaking, and his eyes were round. "I thought…I thought I must really be defective. That I'm crazy. Are you sure?"

Ahsoka took his trembling hand. "I am," she said earnestly.

***

Ahsoka shoveled a pile of tragically dry reconstituted eggs into her mouth. They were so, so bland, but the texture was just tolerable, and anyone that ever served in the GAR could tell you the _shape_ of your hot sauce vehicle could truly redeem all other factors.

Rex handed her a disposable napkin pointedly. " _Ni'duraa."_

Ahsoka batted him away, cheeks filled to bursting. "Mmmph. Don' 'ook a' me! Mmm so kriffin' hungry." She swallowed thickly. "My blood sugar has got to be at sub-zero levels."

Rex looked unmoved; nose crinkled. "Wipe your mouth, _vod'ika_. It's uncouth." He threw the napkin at her head and then sagged back into the waiting room chair he had commandeered, eyes slipping shut. It had taken Ahsoka longer than she thought it would to convince Horns and Glitch that she wasn't trying to manipulate them, and once she'd done that, Glitch had accepted her offer with such a pure, genuine excitement, it had made her heart ache. It had been easy then to herd the men to Medical for their mandatory onboarding examination, promising them hot plates of breakfast in exchange for their compliance. Rex had already arrived, dozing in his chair with a stack of foiled disposable galley trays on his lap. Medical hadn't officially opened for sick call, but the head medic, Captain Borvo, had kindly agreed to examine the newcomers early.

Ahsoka primly pulled the napkin off her montral and dabbed delicately at her lips. Eyes still closed; Rex held out his large hand for her empty tray, and she gave it to him. He pulled a trash bag out of his pocket and dropped the tray in. He set it on the chair beside him, then crossed his arms, settling in for a more substantial nap.

"Oy, Rex?"

Ahsoka snorted as Rex jolted up, head swinging toward an unimpressed Captain Borvo. "Yeah?"

"You trying to take one of my boys?" the medic said gruffly. He was a rare blond like Rex, but older, and he sported a wide, nasty burn scar on his right cheek.

Rex raised an eyebrow, looking tired and vaguely grumpy. "That's the idea," he responded shortly. He sat up slowly, regretfully. "The best one you can spare."

Borvo sighed long-sufferingly. "Come to my office. Your guys still need to get their labs and immunizations done. They won't be done for a while."

Borvo's office was small and neat. The only personal effects being a few holos of his batchmates on his desk. There was one with more than thirty clones in formation, _Life Day- Kalinda Shoals Medical Center_ scrawled on the bottom. Ahsoka couldn't see the date. "Sit," Borvo said, indicating two chairs in front of his desk.

Rex and Ahsoka sat.

"You got anybody particular in mind?" he asked, slowly lowering himself into his own seat. Ahsoka suspected he had more extensive burn tissue that gave him some trouble.

Rex leaned over and propped his chin on his palm. "I don't. The other clone extraction teams have been hitting up the medical centers, not us. I don't know who's been brought in the past few months. You got a list?"

Borvo didn't answer, but he picked up a muster report flimsi from a cubby on his desk. "Okay, well. There are only about fifty of us. Not too many, compared to, uh. What we had. But I'll just list off my boys here. Stop me if you recognize anyone. We've got Butcher, Miracle, Splinter, Gore, Sunshine, Crash, Dipstick, Bonehead, Tubie, Bloodsucker, Headshrinker, Pacer, Goofball, Bear, Coderunner, Stitch, Ambu, Doppler, Resus, Linux-"

"Wait…you got any that served under HJG Kenobi and CMC Cody?" Rex interrupted, all business. "Let's narrow it to the 212th or 501st."

Borvo blinked at him. "Uh, sure. Third Systems, right? Mostly 212th junior medics from Third Systems. Don't have too many 501st here. Hard to get to. They've been trapped on Coruscant since Operation Knightfall. Poor suckers. But let's see. We got a couple. Uh, got…Scrub-up, Jengu, Phobia, Stat, Copycat, Crick, Pace, Croaker, Knockout, Mooka, Hearthrob, Angel, Bailout, Preacher, Mender, Zero, Baxter, Nuke, Ace, Kix, Joule, Orbit-"

Both Ahsoka and Rex jumped at the same time. Rex pitched forward across the desk, snatching the muster flimsi from Borvo's hands. "Wait. _Ke'pare!_ Kix? 501st, Kix? Torrent Company, Kix? CT-6116? That Kix?"

Borvo looked annoyed. His mouth twisted unpleasantly. "Okay, first off, _udessi_ , _vod_. Just ask for it. What the hell. And yeah, Kix. I don't know what fuckin' company he's from. I got enough to remember. And we don't use birth numbers here in medical, so watch your mouth. The war's over, and this ain't Kamino."

Rex ignored him, eyes shining with tears. He was trembling. Ahsoka didn't feel much better, but she reached over to grip Rex's arm, trying to ground him. She'd thought she would never see anyone from Torrent again. What happened to him? How did Kix get here? Why did it take so long for him to arrive?

Borvo watched them cling to each other, and he sighed, eyes softening. "He's a sweet kid. Competent. Quiet. Delivered to us about what, three, four months ago? Seppies had him frozen in carbonite or some shit. Horrible. Still a bit shook up from everything, the poor _vod_. You know him well, then?"

Rex looked to be on the verge of a meltdown. Tears ran fast and hot down his face. He gave Borvo a wild look and stood up, hands clenched in fists. "Frozen in…what? What the fuck are you talking about? Frozen in carbonite? That doesn't make any sense. What do you mean? How is he? Oh shit, I...I thought he was dead. I say his remembrance every night!"

Ahsoka's chest ached. Rex was so strong and brave in her eyes. It was easy to forget how affected he was by who he had lost.

Borvo just gave him a sad look, then reached for his com. He flicked on the transceiver. "Mooka? Can you send Headshrinker and Kix to my office, please?"

_"Yes, Sir. Right away, sir."_

Rex started breathing hard, becoming even more agitated. "I'm fine! Don't bring your karking psych medics in here! Just Kix!"

Borvo sighed disapprovingly but brought the com back up to his lips. "Belay the request for Headshrinker, Mooka. Just Kix, please."

_"Yes, Sir."_

Rex held his head in his hands, waiting. Ahsoka stood as well and hovered nearby, unsure how to help.

Then, he was there.

Their Kix stood in the doorway. He looked like he hadn't aged a day since the end of the war, still sporting his standard haircut and clean shave. The only difference was that his large, lovely eyes were duller, and he was too thin, cheekbones standing out starkly on his face.

Rex keened mournfully, collapsing to his knees, and burying his face in his hands.

"Captain? Commander?" Kix made a strangled sort of noise, looking between them like he thought he was in the midst of a spice dream. "I…I don't…Rex?" He surged forward, falling to his knees before his broken Captain. "Rex, you're alive…I thought…I…I can't believe it…"

Rex reached forward and grasped his brother's head, giving him a watery smile before gently pressing their foreheads together. " _Vod_ ," he cried out. " _Vod'ika._ "

Kix wept.

They clung to each other for a long moment. "Come with me," Rex whispered.

"Yes," Kix said back. "Anything. I'll follow you anywhere, Captain."

***

Ahsoka stood bundled against the bitter cold, Glitch and Kix nearby. The sun was setting, and Rex was collecting their ship from the hangar bay. She checked her chrono. Nightfall was looming closer, and with it, the planet's deadly storms.

Ahsoka glanced over at the clones.

Glitch's shoulders were quivering under his heavy parka. His protective goggles' UV visor was fogged entirely over from the inside, obstructing his eyes from view. Anxiety hung around him in a dense, suffocating fog.

"Glitch," Ahsoka murmured, chancing a light touch to his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Glitch flinched, swinging his head toward her. "Um. Oh, yes. I'm just very, very nervous, I think. I-"

"Glitch!"

Ahsoka turned her head. Another clone trotted out onto the landing pad, shivering, and clutching his scarf to his face. "You're not going to say goodbye, you asshole?" he shouted grumpily above the wind.

Glitch started, then turned as well. "Horns! Thank the stars. I couldn't find you. I wanted to say goodbye, but you were gone."

Horns exhaled loudly, drawing up beside him. "Well, I'm here now. Freezing my _shebs_ off for you. I'm so fuckin' cold right now, Glitch. You have no idea."

Glitch shook his head. " _I'm_ so fuckin' cold right now," he contended.

"Okay, well. I'm not going to compete with you on who is the coldest. My testes have fully retracted inside my body, but who's keeping score, right?" Horns paused, squinting at Glitch's goggles. "Hey, are you crying?"

That broke the dam.

"I w-want you to come with me." Glitch stuttered, diaphragm spasming with sudden hitching cries.

Horns sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. He reached up and ruffled Glitch's already wild mane before taking off his own snow cap and jamming it down over the tufts. "Force, you're tearin' me up, kid. You got working ears like me, right? You know why I can't. They don't have a lot of room there, I guess. You don't want me there anyway, vod'ika. I'll just talk shit the whole time and distract you from your fancy training."

Glitch pulled up his goggles and rubbed his painfully swollen eyes. "Y-you're very respectful around the _jetii_. You wouldn't. I know you wouldn't do that."

"I would, vod." Horns said solemnly, squeezing his brother close to his side. Their jackets scraped loudly together. "I'm never going to stop talking shit. I come from fiery Mandalorian stock."

Glitch pulled his goggles back down. "Fiery…why do you say stuff like that? We're all from the same stock."

"Why do you always take the bait? Ever thought about that?"

Glitch groaned in annoyance.

"It's for the best. You're not supposed to have attachments anymore, anyway."

Glitch frowned worriedly at that but didn't comment.

Horns gripped his shoulders. "I want you to remember to mind your new brothers and the _jetii_ , okay? Don't get lost in your head and start wandering off. If I find out you wandered off from your Master and got into trouble because you were 'sensing' something, I will abso- _fucking_ -lutely hunt you down and exterminate you. Am I getting through to you?"

"Yes, _ori'vod_."

"That being said, if this jetii, whoever he is, is cruel to you, I want you to talk to your brothers right away. If nothing is done about it, I want you to come straight back to Law, Cannon or me. You find some transport, cover your face, and don't show it to anyone until you get back to this base, okay? Don't talk to anyone either. I know you're not a cadet, but I feel like I've got to say this stuff, okay? Promise me you'll do your absolute best to come back safely."

"I promise _ori'vod_."

Ahsoka wanted to reassure them that Obi-Wan was the farthest thing from cruel, but she stayed silent. She knew having a safety plan was far more reassuring than her words.

Horns adjusted his brother's snow cap more, pulling it further down over his ears. "This is everything you ever wanted. You're gonna do great, _vod'ika_. You'll be so much happier with people that can understand you. You can talk about your visions and your karking existential crises all day, _uninterrupted_. Doesn't that sound good? You can chase butterflies and talk to kriffing rocks and sleep in the flowers and won't be picked on the way you are with us. You can chat with all the animals you want without me cutting you off."

Glitch shook his head wonderingly as if such a notion were inconceivable.

Horns continued. "You even have nice, respectable big brothers to look after you. I mean, living with _the_ Marshal Commander Cody and _the_ Captain Rex? Come _on_! How 'bout that, huh? And Kix, that nice medic that looked you over today!"

Ahsoka watched Glitch take an apprehensive glance at Kix. She wondered what was going through his mind.

"I want you to come back like General Windu reincarnate okay?" Horns said boldly. "Fuckin’ leapin’ off twenty-story buildings and quadruple backflipping over the _vode._ Have a wicked new lightsaber to fight with. Maybe have like, a _wizard_ physical transformation. Come back here with karking huge quads and a killer six-pack. What would that little bitch Gamma say to _that_ , with his skinny, jealous ass?”

“What the fuck,” Kix whispered at no one. Ahsoka patted his shoulder consolingly.

It seemed to work for Glitch though. He dissolved into soft, bright giggles, leaning against his big brother for support as he helplessly fell apart under the power of his laughter, hands clutching his chest. Horns looked down at him dotingly, then pressed his cheek against the top of his head. “Be brave, okay? You’re the first _vod_ to become a padawan. Don’t embarrass us.”

Glitch’s laugh trailed off. He wiped his eyes. “I’ll do my best, _ori’vod._ Thank you for always being so nice to me, brother. I’ll…I’ll miss you. ”

Ahsoka glimpsed Horn’s honey-toned eyes suddenly overflow with tears. He righted himself and crammed the heels of his hands hard into his sockets. “Oh, stars,” he whispered.

The ship rumbled above, thundering into its landing cycle. It hummed into place before them, hydraulics squealing as Rex opened the cargo bay for their access.

It was time to go.

Ahsoka lifted her bag onto her shoulder. She watched Rex emerge, taking Kix’s bags from him and ushering the man inside. After presumably stowing the cargo, he reemerged, hopping off the side of the loading ramp and approaching Glitch. He carefully pulled the pack off Glitch’s back, hoisting it onto his own. “Come on, brother,” he said gently. “It’s time to get onboard. Are you ready?”

Glitch’s mouth was held in a determined line. He clenched his fists, visibly preparing himself. “Yes, _ori’vod_.” He turned to Horns. “Goodbye, Horns. May the Force be with you.”

Horns sucked in a breath, shuddering under the stress of repressing his sobs. “May the Force be with you, Glitch. You karking dumbass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	5. Cody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cody and Obi-Wan prepare for Rex and Ahsoka's arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: depictions of PTSD, mentions of abuse, foul language, clone depersonalization
> 
> This chapter uses a lot of Mando'a. Translations are at the bottom!

Cody slowly knelt by Obi-Wan's bed, his bad leg juddering unpleasantly.

He reached under the Jedi's sleep-loosened arm, attempting to extract a dozy Luke with gentle, methodical movements. It was still dark in the homestead, but Cody could just make out the child's delicate features. The boy's eyes fluttered open slightly upon being handled, and Cody smiled soothingly at him, brushing pale hair off his brow with a labor-hardened hand.

Cody's heart swelled, looking at him. His sweet _ad_.

"Good morning, _sen'ika_." He whispered, warily monitoring Obi-Wan's wakefulness. It had been one of their rough nights. His poor Jedi had been grappling with intermittent nightmares for the last several hours-tossing, pleading, and whimpering. Cody only recently managed to get him to settle. He had no interest in disturbing his rest any further. "It's time for your morning meditation."

Luke yawned, then mashed his face into his slumbering Master's forearm, silently protesting. Cody cocked his head, letting his smile broaden affectionately. "Come on, son. Today's the day. Uncle Rex is coming home. I need your help."

Luke's head popped up, blue eyes suddenly wide awake. "Unca' Rex?"

Cody pressed a finger to his lips. "Quiet voice, Luke. _Elek_. Uncle Rex is on his way here with your _bavodu'e_. We have a lot to do."

Luke slumped again, and Cody sighed softly, reaching out and pulling him further from under Obi-Wan's embrace. The Jedi was coiled tightly on his side, and in the aftermath of his last dream, he'd pulled the twins close to his chest. Leia had been easy to remove, but Luke was being significantly more stubborn.

Obi-Wan was going to wake up; he just knew it. They were making way too much movement.

Obi-Wan's fingers twitched.

_Great._

"No!"

The Jedi's arm clamped down protectively around Luke, and Cody was met with grey eyes rounded in fear. The air around him moved and flexed, and Cody's pulse quickened as a surge of alarm gripped his chest. He flinched and grit his teeth, preparing for Obi-Wan to lash out with the Force. His chip scar throbbed, and he sent up a quick prayer for his leg. It was clear he'd miscalculated how harried the Jedi would be after his dreams. He didn't _think_ Obi-Wan would lose enough control to strike him. He certainly never had before, but-

" _Kote_?"

The displaced air eased back into place.

Cody dropped his head in relief, staring blankly at the floor. Prickly pulses of adrenaline buzzed in his veins. His mind floated, and he cowered against the memory of Jango's trainers pummeling him and Fox bloody in the aftermath of a failed command exercise. Of being small and vulnerable, his mind muddled from hours of flash training, while they hit him with heavy hands again, again, again. He shook his head forcefully, trying to clear it. He gripped the rough fabric of his trousers in tight fists, waiting for the sickening throbs to pass. Vaguely, he recognized the sensation of Leia tugging at his shirt.

He was such a kriffing sad sack of shit. Falling apart over _nothing_. Again. He _never_ thought about this stuff before his chip was taken out.

_Fuck._

"Yes." he managed to grit out as his heart galloped in his chest. " _Elek_ , _jetii_. _Kote._ _Gar serim_."

He felt Obi-Wan's hands fumble for him. "I- Oh, Force. I'm sorry, Cody. Did I hurt you? _Tion'aala aaray_? _Ni vercopaani ni ne'aara gar_ …I thought…I thought you were Ana-uh, someone. Someone else." The Jedi's breath rattled. One of his hands made soft contact with the side of Cody's face, thumb gently tracing his orbital scar. An unexpected thrill ran down Cody's spine, and he shivered. Dizzy, he fought the powerful, unseemly urge to nuzzle into that forgiving palm. He was beyond words for a moment, and he swallowed, overstimulated.

He stayed quiet, listening. Obi-Wan abandoned Basic entirely, trying to connect with him by using only Mando'a. The Jedi always did that when Cody lost control. It was something one of his brothers would do, and it was comforting, but opposed to the more common, rural, slang-infused dialect the _vode_ had adopted, Obi-Wan spoke Mando'a like a proper Sundari princeling. His fancy syntax and scholarly accent made Cody laugh sometimes.

They also made his stomach hurt, if he thought of the one who probably taught him.

His long silence seemed to only distress Obi-Wan further. Luke made a muffled _oof_ sound as he was picked up and moved, and Leia stopped pulling on him. " _Ni ceta, Kote_. Where did I hit you? _Ni ceta_! Please, let me see you."

Poor Obi-Wan. Cody had been the idiot in this scenario, not his Jedi. He just needed to say so.

 _Get it together,_ Jango Fett's voice commanded in his head. _Look at him. Speak!_

Cody reached up and covered his General's hand with his own. His Jedi. Always treating him like he was worth protecting. Worth soothing. Like he wasn't a fucking meat droid. A familiar yearning roiled to life in his gut. He aggressively tamped it down. " _K'lamot di'dunla_. I'm okay. I'm okay, Ben. You didn't hurt me. You didn't even touch me. _Ori'haat_. I'm just stupid. It's my overactive nerves again, not you."

Obi-Wan's fingers quivered indecisively against his cheek, then pressed deep into his skin. An exquisite comfort enveloped him, like submerging in a pool of deep, warm water. Cody blinked dumbly as his pounding heart slowed to a more pleasant, normal pace. The thick miasma of misery blooming within him slowly drifted away.

Now painfully clearheaded, he scowled and looked up at Obi-Wan in exasperation. The Jedi was sitting up in his bed. He looked near devastated.

"General. Thank you, but you can't keep throwing suggestions at me every time I lose it. You'll never heal if you waste your strength on dumb _osik_ like this. I'll be fine. It just takes me a minute. I don't need to be bailed out every. Single. Time. _Tion'suvari ni_?"

Obi-Wan, predictably, shook his head adamantly in the darkness. " _Ni ne'koori ti gar._ No. You're not stupid, Cody. Not remotely. Your stress isn't stupid either. Helping you get through these times…" He sighed. "It's the very least I can do for you."

Cody groaned and let his face fall into the bed's mattress. Obi-Wan's hand dropped. " _Tion'jor?_ " he complained, muffled by the fabric. "Why did _I_ get the most stubborn Jedi to ever exist? I'm the oldest of the Command Class. By birthright, I should have had my pick of the litter."

Obi-Wan laughed. It was such a deep, rich, lovely sound. Cody buried his face deeper into the mattress, sick with familiar longing.

"That's very sad," Obi-Wan said, voice thick with amusement. He lifted a hand, and the lights turned on. "I feel for you, truly. Your life would have been significantly easier with Master Windu, no doubt."

Cody looked up at him, delighted at having ammunition handed so readily to him, practically gift wrapped. "It would have. You know why? General Windu actually _listened_ to Ponds."

Obi-Wan pretended to be affronted, sputtering. "I'm certain I don't know what you mean."

"Oh, and I'm certain you do."

"Sweet Force, here we go again," Obi-Wan sighed theatrically, pulling at his beard. He was grinning.

Cody smirked smugly. "Hm. Keep this healing _osik_ up, and I'm telling on you to the new medic. Know this."

Obi-Wan's eyes glittered in response. "Oh, my dear Commander," he murmured sweetly. "Not if I tell on you first."

Cody raised a finger in warning. He wagged it at him. "Do it. Do it and _see_ what happens."

They glowered at each other for several long moments, neither keen to yield. Cody saw the corner of Obi-Wan's mouth twitch, and his own mouth spasmed sympathetically.

Naturally, Cody broke first.

They laughed softly together, and Cody savored the moment, soaking up the sweetness like a flower would the sunlight.

"We're late for meditation," Cody said regretfully once they had quieted.

Obi-Wan hummed, jolting slightly as if just remembering where he was. He looked up at the chrono. "Yes. Why don't you get them started? I'll be out in a bit."

XXX

Cody stooped and arranged Luke and Leia's mats on the gentle knolls of finely milled sand. The granules were still inordinately warm from the previous day's heat, but not uncomfortably so. He stood, contemplating, before throwing his own cushion down. His hip ached something terrible. His bed was better than most surfaces he'd slept on in his life, but it was losing its integrity with age, sagging under his weight. It did little in the way of lumbar support.

He imagined the steady warmth of the ground would feel marvelous.

_What if I just…?_

He tossed the cushion to the side, then slowly crouched, digging a shallow divot to service as a makeshift cradle for his pelvis. Once satisfied, he executed a controlled collapse into the basin, hissing with discomfort as his body made contact with the earth. He lay the rest of the way down, shifting experimentally, and adjusted his blaster holster when it bit into his skin. He looked up at the vastness of Tatooine’s early morning sky and its billions of shimmering stars. Pleasurable heat suffused into his sore spine, and he nearly wept from the comfort.

"N' posed to lay down!" Luke laughed, suddenly standing over him. Leia sniggered next to him, wriggling in amusement.

Cody smiled up at them. "You're not?" he said, feigning shock. "What in the universe are you supposed to do, then, _sen'ika_?"

"Uhh…sit first!"

Cody brought his hand up to animatedly slap his forehead. "Of course! How could I have forgotten?"

The twins giggled harder at his blunder.

"Why don't you two show me, then?" Cody suggested good-humoredly, stretching a bit before pushing himself up on his elbows to observe them. He watched as they scrambled to demonstrate, plopping down on their mats with their legs crossed. He waited for them to settle before nodding and laying back again, hands loosely clasped on his belly. When Obi-Wan had been well enough to take charge of Luke and Leia's routine, Cody attended every one of the Jedi's morning and evening sessions with his _ade_. He had the simple, youngling-edited routines well memorized, but he felt so ridiculous conducting morning meditation by himself. It was one thing to assist someone who knew what they were doing, but it felt like a sham for a broken, non-Force-sensitive _clone_ of all things acting as an authority on anything mystical and Jedi. Especially one that had directly instigated and participated in their genocide.

Still, it needed to be done.

Since Cody had known him, Obi-Wan had always been profoundly serious about meditation. During the war, meditation would have been the precursor to every decision possible if time and the _vode's_ patience had permitted. Meditation was used as a substitute for sleep, for nourishment, for medical care, for companionship. It was something he'd scoffed about in the early months of their partnership, but it soon became apparent how Obi-Wan's performance and health suffered if his spiritual needs were not met.

Obi-Wan said that meditation and contemplation were the foundations of _jetii_ training, and without them, a youngling could not develop a healthy relationship between mind, body, and the Force. Meditation provided "an essential outlet to painful or passionate emotions." He'd explained to Cody long ago that despite accusations from the ignorant public, Jedi were not unfeeling, but rather highly empathic and emotional-so much so, in fact, that they could be dangerous without their infamously extreme discipline.

Cody hadn't precisely expected a practical demonstration of this in the form of one Jedi General Anakin Skywalker, but from what he'd been told, the Will of the Force was notoriously mercurial.

Cody would be damned if he didn't help give the twins all of the tools they needed to resist a similar fate. He was under no delusions about his limited credentials for fatherhood. He didn't even really know what a natborn childhood was supposed to look like. It felt like his own had only existed through the Kaminoan's mercy and continued as an unearned gift. He'd spent most of it in sterile rooms, learning to forget everything he'd ever wanted and do what he was told with the utmost compliance.

Cody didn't know much, but he knew Luke and Leia didn't deserve a childhood like his. He could only go on the Mandalorian tenants he'd been raised with, and Obi-Wan's lead. It was his duty as a _buir_ to at least deliver his best attempt at nurturing them. No matter how uncomfortable he was.

Cody took a deep breath. _Just relax. "_ Good morning, _ade_."

"Good monin' _buir_!" the twins chorused.

" _Buir's_ leg hurts too much to sit up on the hard ground. I'm going to stay laying down today, okay?"

"'Kay." Leia said brightly. Luke just looked at him doubtfully.

Cody hid a smile. "Thank you. Okay. How are you two womp rats feeling? Good? Bad? Sad? Angry?"

"Good." Luke chirped.

"Good." Leia agreed.

"I'm glad to hear that. Let's start, then. Hands on your knees, backs long and strong. Nice tall spines."

The twins obeyed.

"Now, let's breathe together. Deep breaths. Breathe deeply down to your belly. In. _Solus, t'ad , ehn , cuir, rayshe'a._ Out. _Solus, t'ad , ehn , cuir, rayshe'a."_

Luke puffed out his cheeks exaggeratedly, unsuccessfully trying to mimic him. The twins were both very young for natborns-only two standard. Their third birthday was next month, close to Rex's decanting day. Obi-Wan said he didn't expect them to do everything correctly yet, so Cody tried not to worry about it. The idea that a child might be permitted to learn at their own pace was a foreign one. On Kamino, you either kept up or died. Cody had to remind himself regularly that the twins would not be in danger if they didn't pick up skills right away.

"Now, let's quiet our minds. Reach out, listen to the universe. Stretch out your feelings like the light from a big strong star. Just look, do not interact with anything. We'll do this for ten minutes. Stop and tell me if you see something that scares you or you don't understand. We'll talk to Ben about it. Understood?"

"Yes, _buir_." the twins said.

"Okay, go ahead."

The twins settled in, and Cody looked back up at the stars. He liked to imagine each was a lost brother keeping the other company.

Keeping _him_ company.

He let his mind drift a bit, mulling over the agenda for the day. A hint of excitement blossomed as he thought of Rex and Ahsoka's impending arrival. He would be gaining two more clan members today. Two brothers! He suddenly felt nervous. What were their names? What would they be like? Would they like it here? Would they respect Obi-Wan? Would they care for Luke and Leia? Would they like _him_?

Cody felt a lump form in his throat. He wasn't sure. He'd always been quiet and reserved, which sometimes led to negative assumptions by his more outgoing brethren. Alpha-17 always told him his personality reminded him of Fett's. Cody supposed it made some sense, seeing as he was ninety-one percent identical to him. He wasn't sure Alpha's assessment was exactly accurate, though. Rex always said Cody's personality reminded him of Cody, and that was much more reassuring.

There was a muted crunch of sand under boots, and Cody looked towards the source of the sound. Obi-Wan was walking toward them, robe wrapped tightly around his body. He sat next to Cody, weary eyes on the younglings.

"Everything going alright?" he whispered in his pretty lilt. He pulled his cowl up over his head.

Cody nodded. "We didn't do any exercises. We're just observing right now. Well, they are. I'm observing the stars."

Obi-Wan looked up. The blazing points of light reflected in his eyes. Cody thought he saw something pained flash in them, but it was gone before he could be sure.

Cody looked up too. "I admit, it's much better to look at them when you're not held hostage in a bridge briefing with Yularen."

Obi-Wan looked surprised, then chuckled. "You are such a gift, Cody."

XXX

"Hold still, Leia! I don't…kriff…I don't know what I'm doing…"

Cody brushed out Leia's long brown hair for the fourth time. His last attempts at braids had been disasters. It's not like it actually _mattered_ , as he usually kept Leia's hair in a neat twist or nerf tail. But he'd been feeling adventurous, and he wanted to try something nice for Leia to greet their new family members. He tried again, slower.

Horrible. Garbage. Hot garbage.

Cody gave up. "Ben!" he hollered, frazzled.

Obi-Wan swept to his side. "I've got it, _Kote_. Good try. You might want to check on the _uj'alayi._ I think it's done by now. _"_

_Kriff!_

Cody hobbled to the kitchen, snatching a rag and pulling open the oven. Thankfully, smoke did not billow out. A wonderful, spicy-sweet smell hit his nostrils, and he beamed. The massive uj cake was perfectly browned and rich looking. A sticky, sugary glaze coated the top, lightly caramelized.

_Rex is going to lose his mind._

He pulled his masterpiece out and pushed it delicately to the back of the stove to cool. He ran through his checklist in his head. Dinner was made, uj cake was baked, the cellar had been cleaned out and outfitted with two new, comfortable cots piled high with pillows, hides, and blankets. Rex's bantha blanket was washed and folded neatly on his bed.

"Is the cake alright?" Obi-Wan called curiously from the common area.

" _Elek_! Leia's hair?"

"Done."

Cody limped to Obi-Wan and looked. She had two clean, braided buns pinned neatly to the back of her head. She looked lovely. He looked for Luke. He was playing with his stuffed bantha on the floor. It looked like Obi-Wan had combed his hair neatly as well. 

A fresh surge of nerves flooded him. "Can you sense them yet?" he asked, worrying his bottom lip.

Obi-Wan nodded, looking drawn but excited. "For some time. They should be here shortly."

Cody nodded. "Are you ready?"

Obi-Wan smiled knowingly. He grasped Cody's shoulder. "Yes. Are _you_ ready?"

"Yes."

"Let’s go meet them, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sen'ika- little bird (Cody's nickname for Luke)  
> bavodu'e- uncles, aunts  
> Elek, jetii. Kote. Gar serim.- Yes, Jedi. Cody. You're right.  
> K'lamot di'dunla - Rise, forgiven  
> Tion'suvari ni? - Do you understand me?  
> Tion'aala aaray? - Do you hurt somewhere?  
> Ni vercopaani ni ne'aara gar. - I hope I didn't hurt you.  
> Ori'haat-Really, it's true  
> Ni ne'koori ti gar. - I disagree with you  
> Solus, t'ad , ehn , cuir, rayshe'a- One, two, three, four, five 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	6. Rex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex, Ahsoka, Kix, and Glitch arrive on Tatooine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> Mildly graphic description of a body, depictions of PTSD, depictions of grief, foul language

Rex stared blankly at the desiccated, porous plastoid of the workbench, distracted. Cleansing solvent stung his nostrils, and he dug his grease-clotted fingernails absently into his scrub rag. Blaster parts lay in neat lines around him. He'd been at it for hours. Dry brushing the carbon fouling from each component- bores, chambers, barrels, forends, butt-stocks- over and over until his hands and arms ached with exhausting tension and skin of his fingers was nearly abraded away.

He was spiraling. He knew that. 

They'd been in hyperspace for maybe a day. They had about another to go if they didn't run into any issues with Empire checkpoints. He was grateful Ahsoka was sleeping; otherwise, she'd be descending on him, crooning and trying to ease his radiating headache with grabby orange hands. She wasn't nearly as effective with Force healing as Obi-Wan, but she did her best. It's not like Skywalker had precisely focused on that kind of thing. At least not from what he'd observed.

Rex sighed, eyes sliding back to the dismantled DC-15S Carbine in front of him. He grabbed his makeshift bore-snake and dragged it through the bore with trembling fingers, treating it against future plasma corrosion.

He couldn't stop thinking about Kix. He was so thin. So tired. They still hadn't broached the subject of what happened to him. Why would the Seppies carbon freeze him? It was so strange. Why not just put him down the way they did with every other clone? Were they trying to take him as a prisoner of war? But why? He was just a medic…he wouldn't have fetched much in the way of leverage unless it was an act directed only at Skywalker or Kenobi. Was he taken for intelligence, as Echo had been?

He threw the bore-snake down angrily. All this time, Kix had needed help, and Rex had lazily assumed he was dead. The weight of his failure was _crushing_ him.

After leaving Hoth, they'd talked like it was old times, exchanging friendly banter and lighthearted jabs. Kix told him about his life at the base, and Rex told him about his last few missions freeing _vode_. Rex had been indescribably happy. It felt like an unseen crack in his heart had fused, and he felt like he could suddenly breathe easier.

Then, the question came.

_"If you're alive…what about Jesse?"_

Jesse.

Rex thought of his brave, loyal brother. His easy smile, brash laugh, and fiery temper.

His broken neck and charred, broken remains. His scorched new kama and shattered armor.

The heavy, cold weight of him in his exhausted arms as he hauled him from deep in the wreckage to his pitiful, shallow grave. The hideous feeling of stark finality as he pushed him into the mud and arranged what was left of his limbs. The last, regretful glimpse of him before showering the last shovel-full of icy, damp earth over his nearly unrecognizable face.

His worn bucket smeared with carbon, the paint on his signature cog abraded and worn. The wind rocking it on the butt of another brother's DC-15A rifle- _click, click, click_ in the leaden silence _._

 _"No,"_ he'd said, lips numb. _"No, K'ika. He's marched on."_

Kix had pressed his eyes shut and hunched over, gripping the sleeves of his coat. Rex knew how he must have felt-like he might just be strangled from the unfairness of it all.

 _"Stupid,"_ Kix had whispered, his voice dull, desolate. Too calm. _"I don't know why I thought…I shouldn't…I shouldn't have asked."_

Rex hadn't known what to say. He usually had the words, but today they'd seemed inadequate. It was too raw. Every corner of Rex's mind was still haunted by that day. He shivered, wishing he were already home. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into his own bed, bury himself under the soothing, heavy weight of his favorite blanket, and shut out the universe.

Kix had asked to go to bed after that. Rex had given him his own berthing, and he'd hovered fretfully outside the door before retreating to the workshop. He'd expected to hear grief on the other side of that durasteel door. Tears. Anger. Maybe an outburst of both.

There'd been silence.

Nothing but the thump of bags hitting the deck followed by the sound of Kix laying down on Rex's uncomfortable bed.

It was awful.

Rex ground his teeth together. His stomach hurt. He reassembled the blaster with subconscious movements. He hadn't seen Kix since, but Rex respected his need for privacy. He understood it intimately. Some things, despite what civvies thought, couldn't be talked away.

His mind turned to his other brother. He'd been missing for a while too. Glitch had lingered around Rex and Kix at the beginning of the journey, but had slipped silently away into the bowels of the ship when they'd started conversing. He'd probably felt like an intruder, out of place. In their excitement, neither of them had paid him much attention.

Another wave of guilt hit him, and he winced. That _vod_ was part of his clan now, and Rex needed to treat him like it. He dropped the blaster and stood up from the workbench before drifting out into the passageways.

He found Glitch in the muted red light of the cargo bay.

He was a lonely shadow on the cracked, scuffed deck, his body slumped between two crates as if trying to hide. From what, Rex wasn't sure. He let out a short, pensive noise. This _vod_ was going to be a challenge. It wasn't as if Rex hadn't dealt with his fair share of oddball brothers in the past. This one was just…a little odder than usual.

No problem. Anything to distract him from the ugly noise inside his head.

He squinted through the gloom. At first glance, it looked like maybe Glitch was sleeping, but Rex could see the dark shapes of his hands fiddling with the thick weave of his snow cap, stretching and folding it repetitively.

"Hey, Glitch."

The man didn't respond beyond a minute tilt of his head and a polite hum.

"What's going on over here? Are you alright? Do you want me to get you some blankets?"

"Um." Glitch kept his eyes down, frowning. "Oh, nothing, sir. I'm well, sir. No, thank you, sir."

_Okay._

"You like that snow cap, huh?" he said stupidly, desperate to find a starting point. "We've got more in the storage locker if you want some. Might not be as useful where we're going, though."

Glitch looked up from hands, still frowning. "Well, it's not so much the actual cap," he peeked hesitantly at Rex, his gentle copper eyes flashing with something Rex couldn't quite identify. "It's my squadmate's. Horns'. He put it on my head before we left."

"Oh?"

Glitch twisted a stray thread. "Yes. If I concentrate really hard, I think I can still sense him on it. It makes me feel less nervous."

_Ah._

Rex sat on a cleared patch of deck across from him, crossing his legs. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a few ration bars he'd nabbed from the mess decks. He examined each label for the flavors, resolving to give Glitch the best ones as a peace offering. "You two are pretty close, huh? He seemed real worried about you when we left."

Glitch looked back down, tracing the cheap weave of the fabric with restless fingers. "Yes. He's my best friend, I think. We were stationed together for the whole war, almost."

Rex nodded. He picked out blumfruit muffin, spice roll, and nut-paste. He tossed them onto Glitch's lap. "That's lucky. Are you batchmates?"

Glitch picked up the ration bars and gave Rex a startled look. "Do you want me to hold these for you, sir?"

_What?_

"No," Rex said slowly, raising his eyebrows. "They're for you. To eat. You can do what you like with them. And you really don't have to call me sir. Rex is fine."

"Oh. Yes, sir. Uh. I mean. Yes, Rex." Glitch said, looking at the little brown packages like they were something precious. "Thank you for the food. I've never had flavored ones before."

Poor _vod_.

Depending on your unit's location in the galaxy, funding, the kindness of your Jedi, and your requisition officer's aptitude, it could be feast or famine regarding your ration variety. More often than not, low ranking grunts like Glitch had had to subsist on flavorless nutrition cubes. It was a sad reality that most of them had never had the opportunity to eat a normal meal.

If Rex thought back, Glitch had consumed his breakfast at the base slowly-like he was being blessed by every spoonful. He'd had blown it off as one of his eccentricities, but it made more sense now.

"Hey, that's nothing," Rex reassured him. "As soon as we get you home, you'll be eating real food every day. Nothing fancy or anything, but good stuff."

Glitch looked enthused. "Real food?"

"Yeah. You didn't answer my question, though. Are you and Horns batchmates?"

Glitch opened the wrapper of the spice roll bar and sniffed the contents. His eyes grew wide, and he gave it a tentative nibble. "Mmm! That's amazing. Oh. Um. Sorry. No, we're not batchmates. All my batchmates came out of the tubes with funny hair." He gestured at his fluffy head. Rex looked at it, wondering how many other rogue, fluffy-haired Force-sensitives were still lurking out there amongst the vode. "He's maybe a month older than me? He's very nice. He wasn't always nice, but that's alright. He's better than my squadmate Cannon, at least. I'm still not sure if that _vod_ likes me."

Rex smiled in relief. The peace offering had worked, even if it wasn't in the way he planned. Glitch was talking. Relaxing. "Oh? What made Horns suddenly so nice?"

Glitch took another nibble of ration bar. "He thought I died to save him from Death Watch. Well, I did _try_ to die to save him from Death Watch. It just didn't work out."

Rex stared at him. "Death Watch? The _Kyr'tsad_? Really?"

The former trooper made an assenting noise through a mouthful of food. He swallowed. "Yes. On a mission to a temple some time ago. They were going to shoot him. And my Commander. I had her lightsaber, so…I don't know. I just started using it. Horns says I fought the _Mand'alor_. Pre Vizsla? I'm still confused about the details. I just didn't want them to die _so badly._ And everything just…happened the way I wanted it to. Next thing I knew I was in a pile of rubble, and I could _feel_ that they'd escaped. It was a very strange day. They left me for dead, but I made my way back."

He took a larger bite of the bar, letting out a deep hum of happiness.

Rex choked on air, his perspective on Glitch suddenly turning one eighty degrees. "Wait. Stop. Stop right there. You…you karking _dueled_ with the actual terrorist leader _Pre Vizsla_?"

"Mmm...? Oh, yes. I believe so."

"With a _lightsaber_?"

"Yes."

" _And you lived, vod_?"

"…yes?"

"You," Rex swore at him approvingly, "are fucking insane. Cody's gonna love you."

****

They landed on time. It was midday, and for their purposes, that was ideal. The Empire may be interested in monitoring the settlements surrounding Anchorhead, but they were significantly less so during high noon. The suns were mercilessly hot today, and by the time he and Ahsoka changed and taxied the ship into the shallow cave they customarily hid the ship in, they were all covered in a thin, tacky layer of sweat. Rex got Glitch and Kix into some more weather-appropriate clothes as well- light linen trousers, shirts, and short wrapping cloaks to protect their heads from the rays. He had them cover their faces as well, just to prepare for the off chance they were stopped.

The homestead was about a thirty-minute walk away, and Rex was keenly aware of every second of it. Not even locals emerged during midday, and that was for good reason.

"Tatooine, huh?" Kix said as they trudged up a dune. They were close now, thank the Force. "Well, it's better than Hoth."

"That's arguable," Rex said, smiling. Kix seemed to be in better spirits after his ten hours of sleep. He looked better too. Some of the drawn tightness in his face was now gone, and his eyes were a bit clearer. "I hope you're not too disappointed. I kind of dragged you here."

Kix shook his head. "No. I'm happy to be somewhere hot. I don't really care for the cold."

Rex could imagine why.

"There they are!" Ahsoka said, pointing. Rex looked up. The homestead was finally visible, and he could see the small shapes of Obi-Wan, Cody, and the twins.

His heart swelled. He couldn't wait to see them all. His General. His ori'vod. His adorable little ade. He could see Cody wave and start booking it toward them, hopping with near-tangible joy.

"Yeah, that's them."

Kix stopped dead in place and swayed. "Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, Captain. Is that…General Kenobi?"

Rex laughed, grasping the medic's elbow to steady him. For the first time in a long time, unadulterated happiness bloomed in him. "It is."

"He's alive? He's alive!" Kix gasped, grabbing Rex by his sleeve. "I…I thought I got him killed. I thought…Oh Force, I thought…"

Rex looked over at him in surprise. "What do you mean-"

"I'm hallucinating," Kix interrupted faintly, squinting at the two small figures huddled under the Jedi's robe. A gust of scorching, dry wind sprayed sand into his face. He wiped the granules from his lashes and brows with the back of his hand. "Are those Jedi kids? Whose kids are those?"

"General Kenobi impregnated Cody," Rex said, deadpan. "Force magic."

"Wow." Glitch murmured admiringly, looking at the hazy shapes of children closely. His eyes shined with wonder. "That's incredible."

Ahsoka snorted.

"Wait… that's not…" Kix looked thoroughly mystified, and Rex knew his analytical brain was working overtime, considering the plausibility of such a claim. Too late, it clicked that he was being teased, and Rex brought up his arms to deflect a half-hearted punch. "Fuck off."

"They're General Skywalker's children, Kix." Ahsoka said sympathetically, giving Rex an amused but highly disapproving look over the light wrap she was using as a dust screen. "But we've adopted them. They're the reason for all of this secrecy."

"Cody has performed _gai bal manda,"_ Rex interjected quickly for Kix and Glitch's benefit, glancing at Ahsoka. The last thing he wanted was Cody to feel like he needed to be territorial. According to custom, they were Skywalkers only in name. They did not belong to him. Ahsoka was always very good about respecting the _vode's_ brand of Mandalorian customs and courtesies, but understanding the nature of Cody's claim on the twins was something she still had trouble with. He made a mental note to explain it better to her. The twins did indeed belong to all of them, but Cody was the ultimate authority over them. "Make sure you defer to him when you deal with them."

Kix looked like he had a few hundred questions to follow that up with, but Cody was hobbling closer, now a few meters away, and Rex could now see that his older brother's eyes were wide, distractedly searching what little was visible of the newcomers' faces.

Before Rex could say anything, Kix pulled off his hood and veil, exposing his narrow face to the elements. "Commander."

Cody stopped, stumbling back. Rex couldn't help the concerned noise that escaped his chest as Cody nearly lost his tenuous balance, catching himself only barely. He restored his bearings, but stayed silent, chest visibly heaving as he glanced back up at Kix's face. He caught the medic's eyes for a moment, then closed his own, dipping his head down and away. "Rex?" he called out softly, unsure.

Rex pulled his own hood down, smiling encouragingly at him through a sudden blur of tears. "I know, _Kote._ It's alright. It's him. It's Kix."

Kix quivered in place before dropping his pack. He stepped forward. "Commander Cody…"

Cody looked back at him, mouth tight, eyes welling. "Kix," he rasped. "Welcome home _, ner'vod."_

Kix launched himself forward, and Cody met him with enthusiasm, their chests connecting with a heavy thud. Rex could see Cody wince over Kix's shoulder, but he was smiling-face creased in a mixture of elation, awe, and bone-deep grief.

"I'm… I'm happy you found your way back to us, soldier." Cody said quietly. Kix's breath hitched as if surprised, and then he shuddered, an agonized sob loosening itself into Cody's cloak. Cody's damp eyes flew wide. They found Rex's. Rex offered him a sad expression, shaking his head.

There was so much to explain, but not now. 

Cody gave Rex a confused and worried look in return. He brought one of his scarred hands up to grasp Kix's neat, shorn curls, and he pulled the man closer. Rex noticed Cody's leg was shaking furiously under the additional weight, so he stepped forward, ready to catch him.

"K'uur _,k'uur, vod'ika._ You've been so brave. It's been hard, I know," Cody murmured, his patented _buir_ voice in full effect. "You're home now. Don't cry, _vod_. You've done well."

Rex's heart twinged at his gentleness. The _kaminii_ would be furious to know one of their prized products had broken through his conditioning so thoroughly. The thought gave him a surge of quiet satisfaction.

Kix released an onslaught of visceral cries before eventually calming, his breath snagging laboriously in his chest. Cody pet his hair idly, tolerantly, monitoring him. "Force, you're skinny as a rail, _vod_."

The medic snorted in a self-deprecating sort of way, heaving another shaky breath.

"I've got something that might cheer you up."

Kix sniffed, clearing his throat a few times. "Yeah? I…uh. Oh, Force. I'm sorry, sir. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry."

Cody shook his head, wavering a bit on his feet before adjusting his footing. He gave Kix one last squeeze. "Don't apologize, _vod'ika_. And yes, a big ol' uj cake with your name on it."

Kix choked out a laugh, pulling out of Cody's embrace and rubbing his face. Ahsoka intercepted him, taking him under one arm in a comforting gesture. He gave her a thankful glance. "Things really have changed. You make uj cake now?"

Rex saw Cody's cheeks glow a little in embarrassment. The rest of his face remained neutral. "Well, on special occasions. Mine's not half bad."

"It's fucking delicious is what it is," Rex said honestly. Cody ducked his head a bit.

"I've never had uj cake," a deep voice behind him murmured distantly.

Rex startled, shame flooding him. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't let Glitch be the odd one out. The poor _vod_ had had enough of that nonsense in the GAR. He was _allit_ now, and here Rex was, forgetting him. He turned. Glitch was looking in Obi-Wan's direction with a furrowed brow. He had his brother's snow cap back in his hands, folding the fabric over and over in his hands.

" _Kote_ ," Rex said, ushering a distracted Glitch forward with gentle hands. "This is Glitch."

Cody smiled broadly, giving the _vod_ his full attention. His gaze trailed over Glitch's uneasy body language, amber eyes taking in a million details at once. Rex understood the curiosity. You didn't exactly come across a Force-sensitive brother every day. " _Jate urcir gar_ , Glitch," Cody said. "Welcome, brother."

Glitch blinked nervously in the blazing light of the suns. Rex saw him slowly hide the cap behind his back. "Thank you. I'm glad to meet you as well, sir."

"Obi-Wan is very excited to meet you too," Cody informed him warmly. "And to be honest, I'm glad you haven't had uj cake before. Now you won't be able to compare it to the real thing."

Rex laughed, clapping Cody on the shoulder. "Well, we all can't compare it to the real thing either, to be fair."

Glitch gave an uncertain smile. He looked at the ground. "I'm sure it will be very delicious," he said, quietly diplomatic.

Cody shook his head, clearly eager to get away from the topic. "Well, I think Ben, Luke, and Leia have waited long enough. Would you like to meet them?"

Glitch was starting to look like he wanted to be anywhere else. The set of his shoulders was stiff, and he looked a bit pale in the shade of his dusty cloak. "Yes, sir," he said, clearly lying.

Apparently on the same page, Rex reached for Glitch's shoulder just as Cody tilted his head in concern.

"This _jetii_ is a good man. He is very kind," Rex told him. "Don't be nervous."

Glitch averted his gaze. He pulled his brother's cap out from behind his back and pressed it to his heart. "Yes, sir."

Cody gave a short nod, eyes lingering inquisitively on the cap before turning and limping back toward the homestead. "Come, vod'ika. It's too hot for the children to be out here this long."

Rex followed, nudging Glitch forward. He watched Cody's stumbling gait, mouth tightening. His limp was far more pronounced than usual – he was overcompensating, exhausting his good side. His frame looked rigid under his protective, sun-shielding cloak. Kix was watching him over his shoulder as he walked, face concerned and calculating.

Rex frowned. " _Kote_."

Cody ushered the others forward and turned.

Rex reached for him, waiting patiently. " _Kote_. _Ori'vod._ Manda, I've missed you. _Me'vaar ti gar_ ? _Tion'jate_?"

Cody made sure the others were still moving before making his way back. He quickened his pace, moving as swiftly as Rex knew he could manage before meeting him in a bone-crushing embrace. "Better now," Cody said sincerely. "I've missed you desperately, _ner'vod_. How was the trip? You look tired. Are you feeling alright?"

Rex pulled back and bumped his forehead quickly and playfully against Cody's, making sure it was hard enough to be mildly painful. "Don't try and distract me. You look like shit, _ori'vod_. What the hell have you been doing to yourself?"

Cody shook his head, a hand flying up to touch the tender point of impact. "Ow, you menace. And very sweet, _Rex'ika_. Good to see you too."

Rex smiled at him, affection swelling. He dipped his shoulder and offered his arm. "You're tired. You're so karking dumb, running out here like that. Use me as a crutch. Come on. We're almost there."

It spoke volumes that Cody slowly reached back, wrapping one arm around Rex's shoulders and allowing his weight to be supported at his hips. "Ah…thank you, _vod_. I've been walking all day," he muttered, apparently feeling compelled to explain. "Helping Obi-Wan cook and everything. Climbing up and down the stairs. We had a clog. Had to descale the reservoir...it was a kriffing nightmare."

Cody kept his eyes low. He struggled mightily with reconciling his past abilities with his present ones. Rex knew him well enough to know he was mortified. "I…I admit I might have pushed it a bit far."

Rex started walking them forward, mindful of Cody's body language. The others slowed to accommodate their pace. "That's alright. I gotcha. Let's get you sitting for a bit. You'll bounce back in no time. I'll help Ben sort out dinner and getting the boys comfortable."

Rex turned his head just in time to see Cody close his eyes as if disappointed with himself. "No, you shouldn't. You just got back. I-"

"Relax! It's alright, _ori'vod._ I'm happy to help."

Cody sighed doubtfully. Rex elbowed him in the ribs.

They drew close to the homestead. Obi-Wan waved, then took both children into his arms before walking to meet them _"Su cuy'gar!"_ he called politely, a gentle smile touching his lips. Rex nearly winced, seeing him up close. If Cody looked bad, Obi-Wan looked awful, fatigue hanging heavy around him.

"Kix?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and thank you so much to everyone who's supported this fic!


	7. Obi-Wan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****TRIGGER WARNINGS****
> 
> Suicidal ideation, disturbing imagery, blood, medical trauma, vivid/graphic imagery of Order 66, de-humanization, descriptions of bodies, depictions of PTSD, foul language

“Kix?”

Anakin’s senior medic.

 _His_ medic.

Obi-Wan stood very still, mind reeling. This man had saved his life dozens of times. He was one of the bravest, kindest, gentlest troopers he had ever had the pleasure of serving with, and he was _here,_ after everything. He circumspectly checked for a scar at the man’s temple, then carefully probed the surface of his Force signature, just to be sure. Waves of searing shame and grief radiated from within him, and Obi-Wan grunted at the assault, caught off guard. Cody shot him a concerned look from where he was hanging off Rex’s shoulder, and Luke and Leia flinched sympathetically. The bond he shared with them flared with anxiety, and they began wriggling in discomfort, pulling on his tunics and whining shrilly. Obi-Wan sent them a wash of reassurance.

_Oh dear. What’s going on…?_

Obi-Wan had been under the impression Kix had been killed, but his memory of the last few months of the war was, admittedly, not so reliable lately. It had become only a study in failure-a cataloged series of potential clues and indicators for Anakin’s fall. He had run through its contents thousands of times, agonizing over passing conversations, facial expressions, body language. Squinting through the smoke, wondering at what point Anakin had stopped caring for him enough to discard him. To take everything from him. To destroy his _family_ , all without a touch of remorse.

There were never any answers.

Obi-Wan turned his focus back onto Kix. The suns bore down on him harshly, and Obi-Wan could see his eyes were wet and inflamed. Another powerful surge of guilt radiated from him, hitting Obi-Wan squarely in the gut. Wincing, he brought up his shields and locked them firmly in place. Perhaps Kix had been forced to fire on Jedi. Obi-Wan nodded to himself. Yes. That was probably it. That was…unfortunate, but he had to know it wasn’t his fault. It was good he was here; Cody could provide excellent support for him. He often struggled with such feelings.

“General,” Kix said, eyes averted. “Sir. I…I can’t properly express…I am _beyond_ grateful to see you alive, sir. _Ni…ni gana naas miite.”_

He was holding something significant back, but this was not a conversation for the Dune Sea. Obi-Wan smiled at him broadly, genuinely, allowing himself to take a touch of pleasure in this joyful moment of reunion. He bent and set the twins on the sand, making sure their hats were adequately covering their faces. The children clung to his legs shyly, peeking through his robes at the newcomers with curious eyes.

Obi-Wan stood and held out his arms “Well, I do,” he said as kindly as he could. “Welcome, Kix. I now know your name as my brother.”

Kix blew out a dazed, hitching breath. Perceptibly bewildered, he moved into the embrace, keeping his eyes low.

Rex and Cody beamed radiantly. He gave them a crooked smile over Kix’s slim shoulder, and Rex gave Obi-Wan a little salute of approval.

After a long moment, Obi-Wan let Kix go and held him at arm’s length. Silent tears were drenching the medic’s face, and Obi-Wan’s heart twinged in empathy.

“Say,” Obi-Wan drawled in a teasing tone, hoping to cheer him. “You wouldn’t have been hiding a Force-sensitivity from me all these years, right?”

The clones laughed good-humoredly.

Well, all but one.

Ahsoka stepped forward. Obi-Wan’s heart swelled, seeing her well. Her coloring was vivid and healthy, and her clever blue eyes were clear and calm. He sent her a happy pulse of greeting, and she returned it. “Speaking of which,” she said, beckoning to the silent clone. “I have someone to introduce you to.”

Obi-Wan felt a nervous thrill of anticipation, dropping his hands from Kix’s shoulders. This was it. He was meeting his new, potential apprentice. He reached out and skimmed lightly across the trooper’s presence, trying to get a feel for them.

_Oh._

Force-sensitive, indeed.

A sweet, luminous spirit glowed sedately under a dense veil of scarred, messy shielding. Obi-Wan gently inspected the damaged layers, sorrow gripping him. This was…to be expected, he supposed, but no less disheartening to see. This was an untrained survivor of a cruel galaxy- someone who’d subconsciously buried their abilities to avoid their exposure. He’d come across a few individuals like this in his travels, usually on worlds that didn’t suffer the presence of Force users. Planets much like his own homeworld. Stewjoni were notorious for rejecting their Force-sensitive young.

The clone edged forward. Anxiety roiled in the Force, and Obi-Wan pushed an impression of welcoming calm towards them, hoping they could feel it through the shambolic shields separating them.

“Master Kenobi, this is Glitch,” Ahsoka introduced courteously. “He served with 187th Legion. Master Windu's attack battalion.”

Obi-Wan wanted to frown, but for Glitch’s comfort, he offered a gentle smile instead. _Glitch_ …that name sounded like it could have been given under cruel circumstances. A protective feeling slipped through the seams of his control, and his soul ached at the rampant injustices suffered by his people. He wondered how much of a faux pas it would be to ask if he wanted to change it to something that didn’t remind him of what others saw them as. Glitches to be cleansed out of an otherwise efficient system.

He held his tongue, deciding to ask Cody what he thought about it first. Cody never laughed at his stupid clone-related questions, always giving him thoughtfully measured responses. Trooper culture was nuanced and complicated. He would know how to best approach it without being offensive.

But for now-

Obi-Wan bowed low, letting his hands touch his knees and inclining his head respectfully.

“Welcome, Glitch.” He stood, extending his hand to be shaken. “My name is Ben Kenobi. I am honored to meet you. I am at your service.”

Glitch’s eyes were wide, shining like liquid amber. “Um,” he mumbled, looking thoroughly overwhelmed. He stared at the extended hand like he wasn’t sure what to do with it. An embarrassed, ruddy flush darkened the warm brown of his cheeks. “Um…”

Obi-Wan reached out questioningly in the Force. There were impressions of fear…fear of being teased, fear of being set up. Fear of being rejected.

Rex maneuvered himself towards them, dragging Cody along for the ride. He gripped Glitch’s elbow. “Glitch, dear _Manda_ , it’s just a handshake, _vod._ Relax. Nothing fancy.”

Glitch startled as if awakening from a trance. “Oh. Oh! I apologize, sir.” He reached out and shook Obi-Wan’s hand firmly before bending in a small, aborted bow. “Sir. Um…Master. I am honored to meet you as well, Master.”

Obi-Wan smiled at him reassuringly.

Rex, Cody, and Kix glanced at each other, then turned their faces away, hiding amused grins.

Ahsoka sighed, squinting her eyes disapprovingly at them before looking back at Obi-Wan. “Listen, Master. I’d love to for you two to continue this conversation here, but I’m going to karking die if I have to sit in this heat one more karking second.”

His own energy waning, Obi-Wan had to agree.

***

Dinner seemed to be a rollicking success. It was one of their simpler ones, but evidently effective.

Obi-Wan had baked bread and roasted the spoils of Cody and Rex’s last hunt- a hunk of dewback meat the size of the twins put together. As soon as they were given the clear, Rex and Ahsoka led the charge, tearing into it with a feral vengeance that had Cody curling his lip and wincing in disgust.

Kix wasn’t far behind, ducking around them and picking out a portion of the leaner bits- letting out a burst of bell-like laughter as a fight broke out over the charred bone marrow. Glitch stood back politely from the kitchen table, empty plate in hand, watching the altercation unfold with apprehensive eyes.

Cody huffed as if annoyed at the commotion, but Obi-Wan could sense that he was happy beyond words to have such a full, vibrant home. To Obi-Wan, he looked impossibly lovely in his joy- a tiny smile scrunching his scar as he leaned heavily against the counter, cutting steak into tiny bits for Luke and Leia’s plates. The twins watched him work, little hands curled into Cody’s trouser legs.

“Well, _ner al'verde_ , I do believe we’ve done it,” Obi-Wan told him, carefully keeping an eye on Glitch’s progress in getting some sustenance. He decided that he quite liked Glitch so far. He seemed to be naturally well-mannered and kind-two pillars that were an excellent foundation for Jedi teachings.

Cody looked up at Obi-Wan, then at the rest of the clan. “ _Elek._ Thank _Manda._ I feel like I’ve been awake for days. I’m gonna sleep _so_ good tonight.” He paused, surveying the scene more closely. He frowned. “Oy, Rex! Ahsoka!” he barked sternly. “Let _Gl’ika_ get his food!”

Immediately, the two stopped their bickering and turned to face Glitch, looking abashed. Within moments, they were fussing over him, piling his plate high with meat before ushering him to a chair.

 _Ah, good_.

Obi-Wan relaxed a bit.

Cody gave a sharp nod and turned back to his task. He wavered on his feet for the near hundredth time that day, his leg visibly weak and bending in on itself with overstrain. Obi-Wan reached forward to support him, and a niggling feeling of guilt lodged in his chest.

“You should sit,” Obi-Wan intoned softly, making sure to catch his eye. “You’re so exhausted. Please. You’ve done enough. Let me take over.”

_Please listen to me._

Cody sighed, checking the chrono before shaking his head. “Ben, you’re no better. And…no. I’ve still got to bring the banthas in. It’s late.”

“I’ll do it,” Obi-Wan said assertively, nodding. “No problem. I like caring for them, in any case. Their presences are very soothing.”

Cody chuckled, slicing Luke and Leia’s bread into perfect, manageable squares. “Soothing? _Jetii,_ they _stink._ And they don’t karking do anything you want them to do. What about that is that soothing?”

Obi-Wan gave him a flat look. “Oh my-Just sit. Sit down you fool. I’ve got it.”

Cody laughed deeply as he was tugged by the wrist from the kitchen to sit at the table with his family. “Oh, _Ka’ra_. You said they’re ‘ _soooothing’.”_

****

That night, Obi-Wan fulfilled his nocturnal penance and walked the shores of Mustafar in his dreams.

He dreamt of consuming fire, Anakin’s screams, Padme’s look of terrified betrayal before she was cast to the ash stained duracrete. He watched Anakin burn in merciless detail, only to see him transform into Glitch, his innocent face distorting in the flames as Obi-Wan stood powerlessly by and watched.

When he woke, the homestead was filled with a cacophony of hushed breaths and snores.

It should have been soothing, but it only made him feel sick and restless, knowing how much he was putting all these beautiful souls at risk by being such a _fraud._ A shadow of a man masquerading as a Jedi Master…one that never should have been trained in the first place. One that never should have trained others. One that should never be permitted to train others _ever again_ -

He abruptly stood from his bed, head swimming. He needed to get out of here.

He…he needed to go.

Obi-Wan made for the front door, weaving clumsily around furniture. He felt like the world was closing in on him…compressing his chest cavity until there was no room left to breathe.

“Obi-Wan?”

The drowsy voice made him still instantly. Cody.

“ _Tion'jate_?”

Are you okay?

 _No_ , Obi-Wan wanted to tell him.

“I’ll be back,” he said instead.

Obi-Wan was suddenly enveloped by the silky blackness of the night, standing barefoot near a cliff ledge. The cool, high winds whistled caustically in his ears.

He looked down into the yawning chasm, thoughts heavy and disordered.

Longing.

 _No. You’re a terrible Jedi_ , he told himself dimly _. You’re all alone, you’re all alone, you’re all alone, but you shouldn’t. Not now. You shouldn’t, and you can’t. You won’t. You promised to watch over them. Think of Luke. Think of Leia. Think of Glitch. Ahsoka. Rex. Kix._

_Cody._

His focus stuttered _._

_You must endure. You will endure. This is a trial of spirit, and you are failing._

He collapsed to his knees. He should meditate. Get himself back under control. Yes. That was a good idea. He felt so confused. So unbalanced.

Obi-Wan closed his weary eyes, listening to the sound of sand blowing across the primordial cliff stones and tiny nocturnal insects buzzing in the eaves of the homestead. He breathed deeply, reflexively seeking stillness.

The bantha herd lowed in the distance. 

The waking world dropped out from under him, and his mind was invaded by a creeping strangeness. He saw bantha calves grow, mate, give birth, and die, carcasses swathed in scorching sand. Impressions of the ancient past suddenly pummeled into his psyche, and he observed, disoriented, as desert nations were borne from the dunes and perished by them. He saw the old ones that had built this house, proud, faceless, and resilient, and watched the Sand People slaughter them, one by one. Their blood splattered across the sand in wet slaps, and the sand became a plush, buff carpet.

_What…? Oh dear, not again…_

Fear rose up inside him, and the world tilted abruptly on an axis.

He looked up from the scarlet stains and watched a tiny, maimed youngling cry for her crechemaster. A hooded trooper dressed in Jedi robes pressed his blaster flush against her small forehead. His eyes were devoid of anything indicative of a soul.

Cold chips of deep gold.

He fired.

Obi-Wan writhed in his grief.

Screams echoed around them. Fire roared and crackled. It licked at the walls, ancestral tapestries warping, curling, and sparking. Babies cried. Blaster fire reverberated. Alarms blared. Mutilated, scorched bodies were everywhere. His teachers. His students. His siblings. It stank powerfully of burning fabric and flesh. The robed trooper turned to him. He felt the chilly durasteel of a blaster muzzle rest against his temple, and he braced himself. The lethal purr of a lightsaber drifted closer and closer and closer. …

_I don’t understand why you keep showing me this._

_Please…_

_I don’t understand._

Obi-Wan gave himself a sharp mental shake, trying to stop the slew of imagery. Change course. Anything. His mental tenacity dissolved like wet paper, and energy buffeted at him from all sides, eager to commune with him. The dazzling presences of Luke and Leia burned at the edges of his consciousness, and blurry images from their uncertain, dark futures clamored for attention. He pushed them away with the whole of his residual might. No. Please. He couldn't bear it.

He couldn’t bear to know.

Out of the fog, a pair of yellow eyes stared at him gleefully, ominously.

He knew those eyes. He looked back at them staunchly, and a protective surge grew inside him. He would be damned…

“You’re destined to _burn,_ Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan snarled and squared up, ready to fight. More than ready to die-

A pair of hands grasped roughly at his face, and the eyes were gone. The sound of ocean waves crashed deafeningly in his ears. He felt cold sea spray on his face. Taste salt on his lips.

_The Force is with me, and I am one with the Force…_

Rain whipped around him and pricked savagely at his skin.

_…and I fear nothing, because all is as the Force wills it._

A drenched, curly-headed boy looked doggedly ahead as a man bellowed in his face. Colorful bruises bloomed across the child’s eyes and cheeks.

_The Force is with me, and I am one with the Force…_

The image warped, and with a nauseating jolt, he was suddenly looking out of a heavy helmet. The cool air was so still and laden with vapor that the chatter inside the bucket felt loud and obtrusive.

_…and I fear nothing, because all is as the Force wills it._

He looked down. Gold striped troopers lay tangled in deep, thick, bruised grass, their seeping blood nourishing pastures to be fed on by livestock. The earth beneath them flexed to reclaim them.

 _From water you are born. In fire you die. Your bodies seed the stars,_ a heartbreaking thought repeatedly whispered.

It wasn’t his.

 _Your bodies will seed the stars._ _Your bodies will seed the stars. Your bodies will seed the stars…_

Carbon to carbon.

_The Force is with me, and I am one with the Force…_

Greenery overtook their corpses, and then a deadly frost blackened the graves-

“ _…and I fear nothing, because all is as the Force wills it…. Obi-Wan, Ben, please_ ,” a sweet, grumbling voice called fervently, brokenly. _“Damn you. Say it back._ _Say it back, you bastard._ _I know you can hear me._ _Oh Force. Kix! Ke'gaa'tayli ni! Gedet'ye!”_

_“I am! Scan is clear for trauma. Rex, get him. I need space.”_

_“K’ika, gedet'ye. You…you have to say the thing. The mantra. It calms him down. That’s how I get him to come back…Fuck, I don’t know why he’s not listening…Fuck! Obi-Wan?”_

_“It’s alright. Kote, let him work. Match my breaths. An'jate! An'jate, ori’vod.”_

Obi-Wan opened his eyes, and the present world snapped back into focus. He was sweating and shivering, clutching desperately at what he knew to be Cody's distinctively calloused, scarred hands. He heaved out a dry sob of relief at the feeling. 

They were abruptly dragged away.

An outraged, distressed noise sounded from someone nearby. The painful sting of a hypo plunged into the taut, soft flesh of Obi-Wan’s neck, and his breath hiccupped in shock.

“See, there he is. I’ve got you, General. That'll help. It’s gonna be okay. Just rest.”

_What’s happening? Where am I?_

Voices and percussive footfalls clamored around him. The drug shot straight to his brain, and a muzzy, artificial calm settled over him. His panic still there, yet just out of reach, like it was hiding beneath a thin plastoid sheet.

Obi-wan curled in on himself. It was…unpleasant.

“Rex, get Ahsoka. _Now!_ I’m limited here. That was some crazy banthashit Force _osik if_ I’ve ever seen it. Hurry.”

“Wait! Rex, have Glitch watch the kids inside. Tell him to take them to the cellar and stay there. I don’t want them to see this. Tell them I’ll be there soon.”

_See what?_

Obi-Wan was manhandled into the recovery position, his cheek smashed uncomfortably against his hand and arm. Sand scraped at his pores. His vision was blurry, and his mouth was sour with bile. He struggled against strong hands, panting like a trapped animal.

 _Don’t react,_ he told himself firmly, stilling his lethargic limbs _. Don’t throw them off. It could be Cody. Don’t hurt him._

“Cody?” he cried out quietly. His teeth chattered, jaw clicking painfully. He was so cold. “Where… _Kote_ , wa’ happe’n…?”

“I’m here, _jetii_. I’m right over here. I won’t leave you. Stay still, Kix is doing…he’s doing something. It’s alright.”

_I won’t leave you._

“ _Ni ciryc_.” Obi-Wan offered Cody miserably, feeling the drug much more potently now. He felt a bit woozy. He slid his hand weakly across the gritty sand, wishing Cody would come back and hold it again. He flexed his fingers a little, imagining his gentle touch. The heat of his palm pressed against his own.

 _Not appropriate,_ a slightly more cognizant part of his mind reminded him sharply.

Obi-Wan recoiled, lonely sorrow flaying him.

“Oh, Force. I know, Ben. I see that. I can see you’re cold. I’m sorry.” Cody’s voice soothed from a distance. Anxiety was pouring from him in the Force. “We’ll get you warmed back up soon. I promise.”

_You scared him again._

He was sorry, he was _so_ _sorry_. There was so much to tell him. Guilt gnawed at Obi-Wan as he slowly remembered looking over the cliff ledge. Surely, Cody didn’t know about that, but he wanted to tell him he didn’t mean his thoughts, that he would never willingly leave him or the twins. A recognizable lump gradually formed in his throat. He opened his mouth to beg for forgiveness, but his vocal cords felt paralyzed. Frustrated, Obi-Wan coughed, trying to clear the lump internally. Nothing. He grasped at his throat and even gave himself a solid thwack in the solar plexus. He tried again.

Nothing. Damn it. His eyelids drooped with exhaustion.

It was probably best to keep it to himself, anyway.

Kix caught his unruly hand firmly and placed it back under his face. “Don’t fight the meds, sir. Go to sleep. We’ll try and get you into a good strong healing trance.”

_Sleep._

The world drained away to a misty grey. Obi-Wan didn’t remember much more after that.

****

Obi-Wan came to slowly, the memory of his vision decidedly unclear, but still uncomfortable enough to make him squirm. He pulled in a sluggish breath, blinking blearily into the cool blue darkness. The air was warm, slightly moist, and dusty. The pungent stench of animal assaulted his nose, and a snorting, huffing breath ruffled his hair and skimmed across his face.

Whatever he was laying against was moving.

And…. hairy. Really hairy.

He reluctantly probed his environment with the Force.

It was Dolo. Dolo? The…barn? Obi-Wan reached up and tangled his fingers into the bantha’s long, coarse fur, thoroughly perplexed. Why the blazes was he in the barn?

He must have truly pissed Kix off this time…

Dolo let out an annoyed harumph at being touched, and she shifted her massive weight. She was laying down on her side, and Obi-Wan hoped she wouldn’t try to stand and throw him off. Her presence was soothing, even if it was confusing. He sent a friendly, pacifying pulse at her through the Force, and in an unexpected response, an unsettlingly long tongue slapped across Obi-Wan’s face. He groaned out his disgust, tolerantly allowing the bantha to smear her stinking saliva across his forehead and into his drooping fringe.

“Ugh, Dolo. Good morning to you as well,” Obi-Wan rasped. He perked up at the sound of his own voice. It was back. Thank the Force. 

A sonorous rumble sounded from somewhere nearby. Obi-Wan turned his head, squinting through the gloom. His eyes met two sleep-softened, tawny orbs. Cody was curled up facing him, head pillowed in Dolo’s giant, rotund belly and his fragile hips guarded against the barn’s hard dirt floor by a few folded blankets. He was drawn and almost ill-looking- the dark tan skin of his face a little muted, and bruise-like shadows ringing his eyes.

Even like this, Cody still had the sweetest eyes he’d ever seen.

Obi-Wan suppressed a surge of agonized yearning. He took a deep breath and swallowed, making sure the feeling was well released to the Force before opening his mouth to speak.

“Cody. I’m…Why are we…? Are you alright?”

Cody grunted, closing his eyes. Physical and emotional fatigue hung heavy around him. “ _Ni…jate.”_ he hesitated, as if the lie itself drained him further. “ _Ni jate. Wer'cuy._ _Tion'aala gar,_ _jetii_?”

“No, you’re not. It does matter, actually.”

“Mmph. Eh.” Cody rumbled noncommittally.

“I’m loath to ask, but why are we sleeping next to a bantha?” He glanced at her. “No offense meant, Dolo.”

Cody snorted, smiling lazily at him. “S’ can’t under’and you.”

Obi-wan frowned at him. “She certainly can. How dare you.”

Cody buried his face in Dolo’s hair. He brought up a hand and patted her unenthusiastically. “Ah. _Ni ceta, Dolo._ ”

“ _Why_ are we sleeping next to a bantha?” Obi-Wan repeated, smiling at the spectacle.

Cody let out a grumpy, lamenting whine. “Ay, _k'uuuuuur_.” He flapped a dismissive hand once in Obi-Wan’s direction. “Time f’ sleepin’, now.”

Obi-Wan sighed, looking up at the stone ceiling of the barn. He resolved to be silent. Poor Cody. He deserved some undisturbed rest. He’d been running on fumes for days. 

_Because of you_ , his mind supplied nastily.

Cody nuzzled deeper into Dolo’s fur for a moment, but a guilty conscience seemed to disturb his attempt at slumber. He opened his eyes again, looking at Obi-Wan closely.

Obi-Wan courteously pretended not to notice.

“ _Tion'aala gar_? _Tion'jate?”_ Cody whispered hesitantly. “I shouldn’t have…m’sorry. So tired.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “Please, don’t apologize. I understand. _I’m_ sorry. And I feel a bit better than I expected to. What happened? I didn’t traumatize Glitch and the twins, did I? Are they alright? Did I…collapse? Did Ahsoka…?”

Cody shivered, pain bleeding into the lines of his face. “Rex is with ‘em. They’re okay. Glitch and the twins didn’t see you. I made sure. You…you didn’t come back. You said you would come back and…and you didn’t.” He took a long, worn breath. “So, I went to find you. Searched everywhere. Thought you went into the Wastes. Thought you….um. That you…well, it doesn’t matter. I found you on the edge of the property, seizing again. It was…bad. Like last time…but the sand was vibrating like crazy around you. I ran back and woke Kix and Rex. Kix gave you a lot of meds and Ahsoka helped him put you into the trance thing. He said you needed to be somewhere quiet. A place with a lot of Force energy. Somewhere you felt comfortable.” Cody emanated self-consciousness. “You said the herd made you feel relaxed. Earlier.”

Obi-Wan looked at him, surprised. “I…I did.”

Cody ducked his head, twisting a piece of Dolo’s dark hair in his fingers. He shrugged. “That’s why. Sorry if it was a stupid idea. It was mine. I didn’t know what else to do.”

A quiet sadness lay heavy against Obi-Wan’s throat. He reached forward for Cody, but stopped himself half-way. “Cody, no. That was extremely resourceful of you. You couldn’t have picked a better place. It was a brilliant idea. Thank you.”

Cody looked down at his outstretched hand, eyes drooping back towards sleep. He edged his own hand toward Obi-Wan’s ever so slightly, slowly pushing forward until his rough fingertips brushed his knuckles.

Obi-Wan’s breath caught, despite himself.

He unfurled his fingers and let Cody’s rest softly in his. He watched Cody’s eyes slip shut again.

A tiny smile was touching his lips.

“You stayed with me,” Obi-Wan observed shyly, questioningly. He let his eyes close as well, committing the feeling of his touch to memory.

Cody’s hand squeezed. “’course. Course did. ‘m happy you’re okay, _ner jetii.”_

Obi-Wan squeezed back.

He let Cody’s gentle snores lull him back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ni…ni gana naas miite- I…I don’t know what to say  
> ner al'verde- my commander  
> Ka’ra- stars  
> Ke'gaa'tayli ni! Gedet'ye! - Help me! Please!  
> An'jate- It’s okay!  
> Ni ciryc- I’m cold  
> Ni jate. Wer'cuy. Tion'aala gar, jetii- I’m good. It doesn’t matter. How are you feeling, Jedi?  
> k'uuuuuur- Huuuuush!  
> Tion'jate- Are you okay?


	8. Glitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***TRIGGER WARNINGS****  
> LOTS of negative self-talk, mention of vomiting, dehumanization, bullying, foul language
> 
> Chapter is a little short this time, folks. Sorry about that.

Glitch heard Master Kenobi and Commander Cody come back into the house right as the suns began to bleed pink and orange into the edges of the skyline.

Glitch was decidedly relieved. The twin natborns were snoozing peacefully, but honestly, being given the delicate responsibility of watching over them made his jaw cramp with nervous tension. He'd never even been close to natborn younglings before, and if the rumors were true, they were far more fragile than youngling _vode_. He didn't know the first thing to do if something went wrong. Could he even identify if something were wrong? What qualified as wrong?

He'd deliberated over this for hours, perching uselessly near their small, sleeping bodies while his brothers yelled aggressively at each other in the distance and what felt like muted reverberations of pain and anguish emanated from outside. The younglings had woken up and cried at first, when the agony felt strongest, but after an hour or so, they seemed to have properly exhausted themselves, falling unconscious on Kix's bed in a tangled heap. He watched them from his own bed, only interrupted by intermittent episodes of clumsily sprinting upstairs to the 'fresher to vomit.

The dewback meat had almost certainly been a mistake.

He'd felt a bit repulsed by it even upon first sight. Ahsoka and all his brothers had been so exuberant about it, though. He hadn't really liked the idea of eating an animal, but he was excited at the prospect of being permitted to eat something other than nutrition gel. Captain Rex's delicious ration bars held him over for a good while, but he'd been too shy to ask for more on the ship. By the time they'd arrived at the homestead, he'd been positively famished.

He'd consumed a decent portion—a blunder he was paying dearly for.

He shuddered, burning bile coating the interior of his throat. His stomach let out a slight, intimidating gurgle at the thought of last night's meal. The flavors had been rich, strange, and overwhelming, but not particularly unpleasant at the time. Still, it seems his system was not ready to handle such an abrupt change in diet.

Glitch didn't think he wanted to try eating meat again. Perhaps it was better to stick to simple sugars.

He tensed at a steady rhythm of footfalls on the stairs. Captain Rex and Kix descended, entering the cellar slowly. Their eyes were bruised with fatigue. Captain Rex strode over and bent over the twins, dragging his hand through his short blond curls worriedly.

"Are they…everything okay down here, _Gl'ika_?"

_Gl'ika._

Glitch let himself mull the word over for a moment. Only Horns ever called him _Gl'ika_. It sounded strange coming from a different brother, but not bad, really. He determined that he might like the sound of it, with time. It sounded…nice. Almost like he had other brothers that wanted him, if he imagined hard enough.

_Focus._

"Uh…fine. Fine, I think," he replied. "They just slept. Is that…is that what they're supposed to do?"

Captain Rex smiled, looking relieved. "Yeah. Yeah, that's the best answer I could ask for. Thanks for helping me out, brother. I appreciate it."

Glitch wrinkled his forehead in confusion. He'd never been thanked for doing nothing of value before. These brothers were strange. He wondered what it would have been like to serve under Captain Rex. Had he been this charitable during the war, or was this a newer development? Or…was these how other, normal troopers were treated? Ones without known deficiencies?

He supposed he would never know.

Captain Rex stretched, joints creaking and popping. He groaned. "What a first impression, huh? I’m sorry about all this. Cody and Ben are going to be out of commission for the rest of the day. Ahsoka's watching over them for now. We gotta get the chores done before it gets too hot. We're already late.” He held his lower back, leaning backward in another stretch. “ _K'ika_ , get some rest. You need to be at full capacity. Glitch, I know you must be tired. I'm sorry, but do you mind shadowing me? I'll need an extra pair of hands. I promise you can nap after."

xxx

After Kix gave him a healing stim and a packet of electrolytes for his stomach, Glitch felt his mood elevate and his energy return to a manageable level. He trotted after Captain Rex cheerfully, following him from the vaporator units to the hydroponic garden to the fodder bins with barely restrained curiosity. Together, they mourned the loss of Captain Rex's mushrooms, staring into the empty, opaque greenhouse box like their combined attention might resurrect and replenish them.

When it predictably didn't work, Rex morosely led the way to a large, partially underground synthstone building, opening the doors and making strange, clicking sounds with his tongue.

Six gigantic beasts filed out into the sand fields surrounding the property. Captain Rex went into the barn behind them, hoisting a collection of supplies into his arms.

Glitch couldn't help himself. He drew close to one of the animals, mouth open in astonishment.

"Oh! What _are_ these?"

He tilted his chin up and leaned back on his heels, gawking at the giant, shaggy animal with wide eyes. Everything about it was bright and big. The creature had a great, broad, sand encrusted mouth and sharp, colossal horns-each one as big as his entire body. Thick, formidable pillars for legs held the hefty animal up, and an elongated, fluffy tail dragged through the earth like a rudder.

And…it stank. An earthy, noisome musk emanated from its body in dense waves, tainting the fresh morning air.

The creature was perfect.

Glitch's heart beat faster in excitement, and he wondered if it was permissible to reach forward and pet the animal. He flexed his hands rapidly at his sides and tilted his head a bit more so he could glimpse its eyes. He spotted them through a curtain of thick, coarse hair. They were shiny, round, and sable colored. The animal emanated a pleasing, dozy calm that gently embedded its glow into the corners of his mind. Glitch sighed happily, coaxing the feeling as close to his core as he could manage.

He wished he could share this moment with Horns. He would pretend he didn’t like the creatures, but Glitch knew that, secretly, Horns loved animals just as much as he did.

Captain Rex looked up from setting down a stool near another one of the creature's hindquarters. "Uh…banthas. They're called banthas, _vod'ika."_ He paused, looking Glitch over with an amused eye. Feeling the telltale, itching sensation of scrutiny, Glitch turned his head and met his brother's gaze for a moment, just to show he was actively listening. Horns said people liked that.

He needed to try his best to be liked. Otherwise, the Jedi might change their minds about letting him stay.

_Focus. They're not going to tolerate you for long if you don't._

"You like 'em?" Captain Rex continued. "Figures that you would. Ben, Ahsoka, and the twins act like they're some sort of blessing from the Force itself. Must be some sort of _jetii_ thing, because Cody and I think they're awful."

Glitch couldn't comprehend that. And because he could never, ever just _fucking_ control his mouth, he told his brother so. "Awful? No! But...why? You have to see…they're wonderful. They feel so nice! I mean, oh. Um. I mean, not _feel_ nice but _feel_ nice. Like in your head- "

Captain Rex threw his head back and laughed.

Glitch watched him in dismay. He felt like his very soul was withering in humiliation.

_Stupid._ Arguing with a superior. Clear-cut divergent behavior. Undesirable clone aberration.

_Do your best not to talk,_ Cannon's voice resonated in his mind. _Bumbling idiot. They'll send you back to the isolation pods and you'll karking deserve it, too._

Glitch swallowed, digging his blunt nails into the fleshy parts of his palms. No. He didn't ever want to go back there. His eyes watered at the memory of weeks spent in retraining- staring into a swirling flash training monitor, suspended defenselessly in liquid. His brain so confused and overcome but still unbearably aware. His body never able to get enough air to keep up with his panicking heartbeat as he listened to the Kaminoan's clinical assessments through the transparisteel.

_"The unit fails to meet standards for the second time. If it does not qualify for active duty after this, cull it and keep the cadaver for a quality control assessment."_

Glitch blinked rapidly, desperately willing the dampness to rescind. He was far away from the isolation pods now. He didn't have to worry about them anymore.

_Right?_

Captain Rex shook his head, his laugh diminishing to an easygoing grin. "Relax, _vod'ika._ I know what you mean. Well, I don't, but I've been around Jedi enough to know about weird Force feelings. I get it. You like the damn banthas. I take your word for it that they feel nice."

That sounded like he was in the clear this time. Glitch rocked a bit on his feet, fighting the urge to retreat and hide somewhere. He wished Horns were here to tell him if he was karking everything up or not. He could never accurately tell on his own.

_Just be normal._

He checked for Horns in the little space of his mind where he was kept. Lightyears away, but close enough to cradle to his heart. He was still there, a steady, reassuring glimmer in a field of doubt.

"You want to learn how to milk them?" Captain Rex asked, waving at the slightly smaller bantha he was standing near. If he noticed Glitch's odd movements, he didn't mention them.

"Yes, sir." Glitch said instinctively. He did want to learn how. His spirit ached for a purpose beyond destroying things and taking life. He'd come out of the tubes all wrong. He'd had sensitivities and sentiments and apprehensions from the moment he was cognizant. Every natborn kill he'd ever made, he'd felt with such a potency it threatened to fell him each time. The Force hadn't liked it, and it had let him know. Harshly. The idea of nurturing something…caring for something, even an animal, felt like it would be a salve for those aching scars. Maybe a start at atonement?

A twinge of panic resonated in him. He was already tainted. Wasn't that…disqualifying? He hadn't thought of that before. How could he be a Jedi? Master Kenobi could probably already sense he was not up to par.

_This will be over quicker than anticipated, then. You'll be on your way in no time._

"Yes, sir," he said again, a little too mechanically. "Yes, please. I'd like to learn how to milk the banthas very much."

Rex nodded and patted the stool. "Well, come here, then. _Ke'shebe._ And don't call me sir. We're clan. We're on equal footing here. I know it's hard, but you don't have to worry about ranks anymore."

Clan. Family. Real family. Like…a natborn family? Glitch didn't really know what any of this meant for him. He was just an ordinary, rank-and-file trooper. No specialization. No unique skills. No designation. He had no purpose other than to shoot until he died with a blaster bolt between the eyes. Who would want him to be part of a family? He had no use. What was the point?

_Hush. Keep it to yourself. Be respectful,_ the memory of Horn's mellow voice reminded him.

_Yes, ori'vod._

"Ah. Yes. I'm sorry. _Ni gedeteya_. For the lesson."

Captain Rex looked at him with a strange expression. Glitch supposed he could find out the meaning behind it if he tried very hard to apply the Force, but he was too cowardly to find out. He moved forward and sat on the stool like he was asked. As he settled, a hand gripped his shoulder.

"Glitch…" Captain Rex said tentatively.

Glitch sat at attention, eager to please. Even more eager to move on from this nightmare of a conversation. At this point, he was ready to go back to bed and put off socializing until tomorrow. "Yes, Captain?"

Captain Rex laughed again, but it sounded like his heart wasn't in it. "No ranks, remember?"

Glitch flinched at the reminder. _Focus! What's your problem? Manda, he's asking you nicely!_

"Yes. Of course. I apologize. Yes, Rex?"

_Here it comes. The last warning before the end. Way to go. This is a record._

Rex squeezed his shoulder a little, and Glitch tried not to wriggle in discomfort. It didn't hurt. It was just…too much, for whatever reason. He squeezed his knees hard to cope.

"You know you're safe here, right? That none of us will try and hurt you. You don't have to worry about not saying things perfectly. I don't care, and nobody else here cares, okay? I can tell you've had a rough time of it." He sighed. "I'm…I'm sorry for that. I can't imagine what being in your boots must've been like, having your gifts. But things are different now, understand? You will be cared for and loved here. I know Ben already thinks the world of you. We have no expectations of you beyond helping a little with the farm. It's safe here. You're safe to be _you_ , Glitch."

Glitch listened. He suddenly felt oversensitive, too vulnerable. Trapped within the confines of his body. He scratched at his thighs and shook one of his legs, overwhelmed and trying to release the feeling. It was dangerous to believe Rex. All his instincts screamed at him to not trust these pretty, comforting words. It had never been safe to be him. It never _would be_ safe to be him. A weak, anguished cry escaped his throat at the thought, and he pinched himself hard to stop it.

This was so embarrassing. He was fucking everything up. Why couldn't he just respond to conversations like a normal person? He squeezed his eyes shut. He felt so lonely. He wanted to talk to his _ori'vod_. He wanted to talk to Horns like he wanted his next breath of oxygen.

Rex sighed and sat on the sand near the stool, close but finally giving him some space. Glitch grimaced. He must be causing more of a scene than he thought he was.

"It's alright, _Gl'ika_. Just relax. I'm sorry. I’m sorry for stressing you out. It's a lot to think about. Just breathe. You don't have to say anything. I’m not sure, but…I _think_ I understand. We'll talk about it later, huh?"

Glitch grunted out something that might be interpreted as acknowledgment. He felt beyond words, at the moment- his voice strangled in its own emotion.

"Let's just be quiet for now.” Rex suggested. “I'll show you how to milk Nara, here. Does that sound alright?"

Glitch nodded, thankful.

“Okay. Let’s do that.” Rex scratched the back of his head, eyes cast to the sand. Sadness exuded from him. “One last thing, _Gl’ika_. I’ll help you to talk to Horns again, alright? I know…I know what it’s like to be separated from a brother you’ve bonded to. I know how badly it can hurt. You’ll talk to him again. I’ll make sure of it. I split the two of you, and I’m sorry for that. I _didn’t_ _pay attention_. That was wrong of me. It’s a bad habit of mine.”

A torrent of relief ripped through Glitch’s body. His head drooped, and he swallowed hard.

“ _Thank you.”_

xxx

After the banthas were milked, Rex showed Glitch the evaporating unit, where the milk was pasteurized and dried to a fine blue powder for storage. He helped Rex dump the fruits of their labor into airtight bins, finding some comfort in the repetitive manual labor. Rex seemed content to work in silence, and for that, Glitch was grateful.

When they returned to the house, the suns were well above the horizon and already blazing. Unprompted, Rex got him a tall glass of water from the kitchen, and Glitch chugged it gratefully. Rex got one for himself as well, drinking deeply and letting out an appreciative grumble.

“Thank you, Rex,” Glitch mumbled, panting a little when he broke for air. The spectacle he’d caused earlier was replaying nonstop in his mind, now. He’d karked up so badly. He needed to at least _try_ and salvage what was left of their tenuous relationship. “I’m sorry for-“

“ _There you are_!”

Glitch blinked in surprise at the interruption. Kix emerged from the living area, stalking up to Rex with a daunting glare and an air of decidedly belligerent, lofty conviction. The medic poked him hard in the sternum. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he hissed. “Why are you letting Cody sleep on that piece of shit mattress?”

Rex sputtered, choking on his water. “Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” Rex asked him bewilderedly, wiping his mouth with his forearm.

“The mattress, Rex.” Kix ground out with exaggerated patience. “The mattress that looks like it’s half deflated. The one our poor, half-crippled brother is sleeping on. The one with no lumbar support whatsoever. That one. Why?”

Rex exhaled, putting his glass down on an open countertop. “I was going to build a new one for him. I haven’t looked at it in some time, though. Is it that bad?”

Kix crossed his arms across his chest, relaxing a little. “It’s horrible. I looked at it while he was in the ‘fresher. It’s no wonder he can barely walk. I need to examine him.”  
  


Rex looked into the living area, and Glitch followed his gaze. Commander Cody…no, _focus,_ _Cody_ was resting in a padded, synthstone alcove, snoring loudly into a pile of pillows. Master Kenobi lay in an alcove on the other side of the room, curled up tightly under an animal hide.

“I hate to wake him,” Rex whispered. “I haven’t seen him that worked up in a while. He was _crying,_ _K’ika_. He hardly ever cries. This whole thing scared the shit out of him. I think he thought-”

Kix shook his head sharply as if he couldn’t bear to hear it himself. “I know what he thought. But fortunately, the General is stable. Cody needs our attention for now. He’s in a lot of pain. Help me out? Both of you. I want to get to him while Ahsoka has the kids. We have privacy for only a limited time, here.”

Rex nodded; a reluctant look still plastered on his face. “Yeah. Alright. Lead the way?”

He did, but it turned out that Cody was not at all pleased with their decision to wake him. He was as ornery as an irate tooka, and it took several rounds of hushed, somewhat vulgar, and hostile negotiation with Rex for him to begrudgingly allow Kix to take down his sleep pants and underwear for an examination. Both Rex and Kix let out hushed gasps at whatever was revealed, but Glitch kept his eyes politely averted until Kix threw a sheet over Cody’s groin. Troopers weren’t typically shy when it came to nudity-they all looked the same, after all-but it still wasn’t exactly courteous behavior to look at a brother’s _deece_ on purpose. Once he was sure Cody’s modesty was secured, he peeked down at the appendage under scrutiny.

It was…a bit more alarming than he'd anticipated.

Thick, warping scar tissue wrapped the leg from the calf to the crest of his hip-newer looking surgery scars interwoven with older, paler ones. It looked…wrong. Just a little crooked in places and visibly swollen at the knee. The mottled flesh of his thigh seemed inflamed as well.

It looked impossibly painful. Glitch’s gut clenched in empathy.

Rex looked heartbroken. “ _Kote_.” He rasped. His hands shook at his sides. “Oh, _Kot’ika_.”  
  
Cody sighed, covering his eyes with his arm. His cheeks looked like they were scorching in embarrassment. “Ugh, _vod’ika_. Don’t…don’t do that, okay? Don’t _Kot’ika_ me. I’m fine, I promise. It’s not as bad as it looks.”

Rex collapsed to his knees, buried his face in Cody’s shoulder, and cried.

xxx

That night, as Glitch was eating his dinner of plain white bread and reconstituted bantha milk, Rex presented him with a blank, old notebook and a pen. It was made of nothing but thin sheets of old-fashioned flimsi, and Glitch turned it over and over in his hands, fascinated. He’d never seen such a thing before. All he’d ever known were datapads.

“To write Horns,” was the only explanation Rex gave before retreating to his self-appointed station at Cody’s bedside.

Glitch let his fingers loosely trail the spine of the notebook. Besides his name and the clothes on his back, this little bundle of blank flimsi would be the first thing he’d ever owned. He looked at it for a while, then opened it to the first page.

He took a deep breath, then picked up the pen.

_Brother,_

_I thought I might tell you that I’ve arrived safely at my new home. It’s very lovely here. I have my own bed and I’m allowed to eat real natborn food, if you can believe it. I got a bit sick already, but my new brothers tell me that should pass in time._

_Are you doing alright? I hope you’re sleeping and eating well. Are you making any new friends? I hope so. I don’t want you to be by yourself, Horns._

_You’ve always told me I can you tell you anything, so if it’s alright, I’ll lend my petty troubles to your ears. I have many new brothers, but for some reason, I’m unbearably lonely, Horns. I miss you. There is nothing that is sweet and good that crosses my path that doesn’t make me think of you. I feel like all the fondness that I’ve not been able to give you has choked up in my heart, and I wonder if this was the right choice for me._

_I fear I might have thought too highly of myself when I thought I could be trained._

_I don’t expect answers, of course. You know how I talk too much._

_Pay me no mind._

_I miss you more than I could possibly say, ori’vod._

_K'oyacyi,_

_Glitch_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ke'shebe- Sit down  
> Ni gedeteya - I’m grateful  
> K'oyacyi,- Stay alive
> 
> Sorry for how long this took, everyone! I've been working on a huge college project, and it's been draining my fic-writing energy considerably. Thank you so much for all of the positivity and support for this fic. I appreciate it so, so much.


	9. Kix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****TRIGGER WARNINGS*****  
> Depictions of PTSD, disordered eating, foul language, discussion of surgical procedures

“ _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”_

Kix struggled to wake.

He was numb with cold, and his body twisted as his dreamscape supplied the disquieting image of his skin coated in a fine crystalline frost. Whorls of unpleasant memories dragged obstinately at his mind, and he blindly followed his brother’s tormented voices as they beseeched him for attention. His pack was burdensome on his back, and his limbs felt like they were made of heavy durasteel; slow, clumsy, and uncompromising. Bright specks danced in his vision in a parody of blaster fire.

He couldn’t find them. Where were they? They needed him, but he couldn’t find them-

“ _I'm sorry, don't, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, please, I'll do anything. I'm sorry…"_

Kix tossed, a glint of consciousness weaving through his confusion. A singular brother’s voice followed him, and he groaned despondently, reaching out into the darkness in an attempt to find him. _“It’ll be okay,”_ he told them, his own voice echoing like a broken recording. He always told his brothers it would be alright when it wasn’t going to be. What else was there to say? It was better to ease their passing. _“I’m here. You’ll be alright.”_

“ _Please_.” The voice murmured from far away. “ _I’m sorry_.”

Kix floundered, growing more agitated as precious, life-saving time slipped away from him.

_He’s going to die._

_“Where are you?”_

_“Please,”_ the voice repeated, a little clearer now. “ _Good soldiers follow orders_.”

Kix flinched and wheezed, lurching awake. His heart hammered as he sat up, shivering at the feeling of cooling sweat slicking his neck and chest. “Where…?”

The was movement in the darkness, and Kix strained his eyes, a hand already reaching under his bed for his blaster in deeply rooted reflex.

“ _Please. I’m sorry_.”

Oh.

Kix relaxed, falling back onto his damp pillows and catching his breath before collecting the energy to roll off his cot and flick on the light. It buzzed to life, casting the cellar in a warm glow.

Glitch’s shaking body rattled his bed, his clawed hands raking the blankets. His hair was limp with moisture, tendrils of it plastered to his forehead. He sucked in small, erratic gulps of air in between blurry pleas; his face pinched in distress. He wiggled as if being suffocated. As Kix watched, a glass of water on Glitch’s makeshift bedside table began to wobble dangerously on its own before it _cracked_ , its contents breaking free and sliding down onto the stone floor in steady taps.

Kix looked at it, fascinated.

It was true, then. Not that he had doubted General Kenobi or Ahsoka-he never would-but Glitch hadn’t really openly displayed his powers in the tenday that they had been on Tatooine. He had to be one of most flighty, reclusive clones he’d ever met-but not in the way that spoke of dark intentions. He seemed shy, more like. Sensitive. _Supremely_ socially awkward. His personality was thrown into even sharper relief when he was near his brothers, whose leadership engineering supported more gruff, self-assured tendencies. Though, technically, the same should have applied to Glitch. Rank-and-file troopers were notoriously rough in speech and manner.

Kix was worried about him.

Well, he was worried about everyone in this Force-forsaken house. But Glitch had not escaped his attention. After observing his behaviors, he wondered how much neglect he had suffered at the hands of his trainers and brothers. Young Force-sensitives had a wealth of needs apart from the average clone. To have gone his whole life without any of them being addressed-

“ _Please. Don’t. I’m sorry.”_

Kix took a long breath, drawing close and cautiously lowering himself to sit on the edge of the man’s bed. It creaked and sagged a little beneath his weight. “Glitch,” he called out gently. “Glitch. Come on back, brother. Wake up.”

“ _I’m sorry._ ”

He reached over and ghosted a touch over his shoulder. “You’re okay. It’s a nightmare.”

 _You did this,_ whispered a quick invasive thought _. You failure. You did this to him. To all of them._

_Brother-killer. Jedi-killer._

Kix shuddered under a wave of boiling, hungry guilt.

Glitch made a cut-off choking noise, his eyes flickering open. They were wide, red-rimmed, and unfocused. “Ah…Horns?” he panted wetly.

Unbidden, the memory of Jesse’s face flashed in Kix’s mind.

Kix blinked and gave Glitch his best medic’s smile. “No, sorry. It’s Kix. We must look similar.”

The joke fell flat. Glitch just stared at him, lethargic gaze slowly sharpening in recognition. Embarrassment spread across his face.

“Oh. I-I’m so sorry.” He glanced around, squinting blearily at the lights before letting his eyes fall to the shattered glass on the stool serving as his bedside table. The blood drained from his face. “ _No.”_

Kix looked at it too, confused. “Oh, that’s alright, Glitch. It’s not that big of a d-“

Glitch shook his head doggedly and rocked his body, looking down at his hands as though they had betrayed him. _“Oh no!”_

“ _Kix_?”

General Kenobi’s voice floated down the stairs, his tone audibly loaded with questions. Namely, _what the blazes is going on down there?_

 _Thank the Force._ Kix kept his eyes locked on Glitch. “Sir. I think you should come down here, sir. Please.”

“Obi-Wan,” the Jedi corrected gently, already entering the cellar. He was dressed for the day. Kix reluctantly checked the chrono on the washing unit. _Blast._ He wilted at the number, mildly disappointed. Of course. It was already time to get up—no chance of another attempt at sleep now.

“Ben?” Cody’s resonant voice called down after Obi-Wan worriedly. “What’s going on? Is everything alright?”

Obi-Wan cast a quick look over the situation at hand. “Yes,” he said decisively. “Yes, we’re fine here. Can you start on breakfast for me? And put some tea on?”

“When the hell have I ever not made tea for your breakfast?” Cody griped faintly, the sound of him already moving away from the stairwell.

“Thank you, Cody,” Obi-Wan replied loudly, honey-sweet.

“ _Kih'parjai_ ," Cody called back in kind.

The Jedi turned back to Glitch, who was already shrinking back under the attention. He looked between the glass and Obi-Wan rapidly, as if expecting to be struck. His lashes were wet with unshed tears. “Sir. I mean. Master. I’m sorry. I’m not sure…I didn’t…I’ll leave. I’ll- “

Obi-Wan smiled at him in that warm, understanding way of his, sitting next to Kix on the bed. Kix stood immediately, not wanting to overcrowd his brother. He returned to his own bed, watching the interaction closely in case it went awry.

“Glitch, my dear, you could break all the glasses in this house, and I would never want you to leave. In fact, I’m quite impressed with your feat here. You broke this with the Force?”

Glitch looked like he wasn’t quite grasping what Obi-Wan was getting at. “I…I don’t…I don’t know,” he whispered, malignant shame dousing his words. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Yes.” Kix supplied quietly. "I saw it. He was having a nightmare, and it broke.”

Glitch looked up at him with a profoundly betrayed expression. His mouth trembled and his hands twisted wildly in his blankets.

_Shit._ Kix felt another drop of guilt spread in his chest. A situation like this was probably one of Glitch's greatest fears come to life—a brother reporting him to a Jedi General.

Obi-Wan seemed to sense Glitch’s skyrocketing anxiety. He frowned. “A nightmare? Oh, dear. May I touch your head, Glitch? I will not harm you.”

Glitch closed his eyes, a sad, strange, resigned look unexpectedly settling onto his features. His hands continued to twist the blankets. “Yes, sir.”

“Just relax if you can,” Obi-Wan instructed kindly. He breathed slowly, lifting his hand to cup Glitch’s forehead in a facsimile of what Kix had seen other Jedi do to calm or sedate each other. Glitch jerked in surprise before melting into the Jedi’s palm, his body drooping forward like a stringless puppet. Obi-Wan grimaced in pain before quickly arranging his expression into something more unruffled.

Kix resisted the urge to throttle him in his annoyance.

With daily healing trances, Obi-Wan had come leaps and bounds since his last vision, but his strength still seemed to wane when drawing heavily on the Force. Kix didn’t suspect this was a permanent condition, but, as usual, the Jedi was so resistant to letting himself heal it was becoming foolish.

“General….” Kix growled forebodingly.

“I’m fine, Kix. Thank you.” Obi-Wan said mildly, eyes on Glitch.

Well, at least it looked as if some good had come of it. His brother looked _relieved_. His breaths became soft, contented puffs, and his hands slowed their movements. He mumbled something indistinct.

Obi-wan nodded, supporting his body weight with ease. “There, now. That feels better, doesn’t it? Can you feel the Force more easily, now?”

Glitch nodded languorously and mumbled again. One of his hands rose to cling loosely to Obi-Wan’s wrist, babelike. “The Force flows through me,” he finally sighed. “The Force flows through me.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes filled with emotion before he squeezed them shut. “It certainly does. And I do not want you ever to be ashamed of it. Control will come with time and dedicated training. Things will break and mistakes will be made. It is a long, difficult road to mastery, should you choose that path. Embrace your gifts, Glitch. Rely on the Force. You do not need to hide from it. I can help you, whether you choose to be my Padawan or not.”

Glitch’s eyebrows beetled. “M’ not a Padawan?” he asked in a small voice.

Obi-Wan smiled sadly. His thumb lightly brushed Glitch’s clammy forehead. “You’re only a Padawan if you want to be. This is your journey. If the idea of being a Jedi does not feel right to you, you do not have to become one. I will not push you. You have my word.”

Glitch grunted, looking a bit disturbed at the words. “No! No…I. Please. I want to be a Jedi. I want you to be my Master. Please.”

Obi-Wan moved his hand to cup Glitch’s cheek. His expression warmed. “Very well. I would be honored to train you, Padawan Glitch. It sounds like a ceremony is in order.”

Glitch slumped in visible relief. “Thank you. I…” He sagged even further to the side, lashes fluttering. “I’m sorry,” he intoned quietly. “I don’t...I…I’m so tired all of a sudden, Master.”

“It has been a very challenging morning so far, hasn’t it?” Obi-Wan agreed, catching him. “I’d like to get a meal and maybe some tea into you before you sleep, however. Can you do that for me?

“Yes, Master.”

***

Breakfast was always a quiet, peaceful affair in the homestead. Everyone came together but minded their own business, nursing tall cups of caf or tea while eating whatever Cody had decided for them that day. Given the general state of health in the home, Kix wondered if the silence was more attributable to embarrassment over each of their disruptive nightly disturbances rather than a genuine desire to stay quiet. The more days passed, the surer he was- watching silently from the table as sleepy gazes met awkwardly, then averted. As heated faces fixated downward on plates, too focused.

Today was no different. The cycle continued. Obi-Wan got a drowsy Glitch settled at the head of the table with a mug of sweet-smelling milk tea. In silence, Cody and Rex worked seamlessly around each other- buttering slices of leftover Haroun bread and stacking them on a platter at the center of the table for easy retrieval. Cody intermittently handed sliced sticks of toast to the twins as he poured cups of caf. Obi-Wan tossed cubed meat into a bowl for Ahsoka.

The only voices were the innocent babbles of the twins as they inquisitively followed Cody around the kitchen.

Kix was secretly grateful for this trend. He didn’t feel up for distracting small talk lately. There was too much to do. Too much to coordinate and keep straight in his head. He’d submitted Cody’s examination notes and scan results to Hoth via Rex’s secure com a few days ago, seeking a second opinion. Today was the agreed-upon follow-up.

Kix picked anxiously at his toast, feeling the grainy texture of it dissolve under the pads of his fingers.

He couldn’t be late.

“I have a meeting with Hoth Medical today,” he blurted abruptly, turning to Rex as he sat at the table. “At noon. I need to borrow your puck.”

Rex looked up from his plate, eyes glittering in amusement. “I know, K’ika. You told me ten times yesterday. The puck is all yours. I promise. You can grab it whenever you want.”

_Right._

Kix looked back down at his own food. He was hungry, but the aroma of the bread made him feel dizzy and ill. He didn’t want it. He took a long pull of caf instead.

The hunger was what he deserved, anyhow.

Alarm bells went off in his medic’s mind at the thought. He turned away from them. He could deal with this later.

He could feel Rex’s eyes lingering on him. Self-conscious, he forced himself to shove a morsel into his mouth. It turned to ash on his tongue, and he battled the urge to spit it out. He glanced back up at his brother right as Rex turned his head to look at Cody. They exchanged a quick look.

“Do you want me to make you something else, Kix?” Cody asked him carefully, his dark amber eyes unsure. “We have other things to eat. It’s not a problem.”

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka turned their attention on him as well. Even Glitch looked up from his mug, eyes narrowed and pensive. Kix felt himself flush deeply. “No, no. I’m just…I’m not hungry yet. Too early.”

_What are you doing?_

“Are you sure? I ca-“

Kix stood, smiling at Cody in what he hoped was a reassuring way. “No. I’m fine, thank you. I’m going to take a shower. I’ll eat later.”

_Hypocrite._

“ _K’ika_ , wait.”

_What. Are. You. Doing?_

Kix pretended not to hear his ori’vod, walking to the ‘fresher and letting the door slide shut behind him with a snap. He stripped quickly, looking down at his bony chest and dark, thin legs. He looked up into the mirror, examining his narrow face: cheeks, chin, forehead, eyes.

He suddenly felt overheated. Repressed tears sat thick and teeming in his chest. He grabbed a towel and turned on the sink, quickly splashing his face with cold water before turning it off.

He looked up into the mirror again.

_It’s not that bad._

The tears welled up. He buried his face in the rough fabric of the towel.

***

Kix tapped in the frequency for Hoth and waited.

Borvo’s image emerged in a series of short, unstable spits. He looked as frazzled as he always did. “Hey, kiddo.”

“Hello, Captain.”

“How are you holdin’ up? You still look skinny,” the older medic grunted bluntly. He squinted at Kix with hard, critical eyes. “I know I packed you those good nutrition boosters. You not eatin’ them?”

Kix battled the urge to bury his face in his hands. _Can I please get a break_?

“I didn’t see them,” he lied halfheartedly. “I’m working on it, sir.”

“Hm.” Borvo gave him an unconvinced look. “Well, work harder. Clone metabolism is already too high. You need to maintain your weight, or it’ll eat at your muscles next. You know this garbage. What am I doing, telling a senior field surgeon this shit?”

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.”

“Fuckin’ amateur hour over here. Am I instructing the first day of cadet MedCorps and no one told me?”

Kix covered a smirk with a cough. “Not to my knowledge, sir.”

“Alright then.” Borvo’s eyes twinkled. His voice took on a kindlier tone. “I better see you filled out a bit by the next time we talk. I know it’s tough, but we’re gonna get through this, alright? Talk to your brothers. Do your mindfulness exercises. And don’t you dare bullshit me again about not seeing the nute-boosts. I put them in the bag with your skivvies, so contemplate the implications of that, for me. You’ve not been changin’ your underpants?”

Kix chortled in surprise, conceding unwillingly. “ _Ka’ra!_ You’re a relentless bastard, you know that, _ori’vod_? Yes! Yes, okay. I’ll take them. I’m caught. Sweet _Manda_.”

Borvo laughed loudly, looking downright bumptious. “I happen to pride myself in being a relentless bastard. Such accusations are a balm to my soul.”

“ _Ori’vod_ ,” Kix complained. “Captain. Please. Let’s get back on track, please?”

The medic graced Kix with a superior smile, steepling his fingers under his scruffy chin. “Alright, alright. Don’t get your blacks twisted up. Let’s talk about Patient Bravo.”

Kix sighed. “Thank you.”

“The heat’s not off of you yet, kid, so if you could, modulate the amount of relief I’m hearing in your voice.”

“Captain!”

Borvo ignored him, looking down at a datapad and sucking his teeth. “Patient Bravo. Assigned Temp ID T85719983, correct?”

Kix double checked his own datapad for Cody’s designated number. Borvo notoriously hated using identification numbers, but he begrudgingly used them for brothers on covert missions. “T85719983. Correct.”

Borvo settled back in his chair. “I personally completed Patient Bravo’s surgery a few years back. I took a look at your scans and your notes. I’m…disheartened at the progress, but not surprised. This guy’s pelvis upon intake, Kix…. wrecked. There wasn’t a bone that wasn’t shattered. It was a vertical shear on spice. Plus, one of the worst spiral femoral fractures we’ve seen here. I did my best, but… you know how we’re limited on funds.”

Kix nodded understandingly. Borvo was one of the best surgeons he’d ever met, but even he could only improvise so much. Any medical supplies they got were usually donated by sentient rights activists or Senator Organa in significantly limited amounts. Sometimes they were able to tactically acquire supplies through the many clone extraction teams, but such activity put them in increased danger of being captured or tracked. Bacta and prosthetic devices were in exceptionally high demand. Medical on Hoth always operated in fear of a shortage.

“What do you recommend from here? I have bone knitters with me, but it’s a bit late for that. There’s arthritis in his acetabulum and he has some extensive femoral neuropathy. I can try a tissue regenerator, but I just have the shitty one in the FastFlesh medpac.”

Borvo curled his lip. “Fuck the FastFlesh medpac. He needs another surgery and a bacta submersion, but I’ve got my schedule locked up for a year at minimum. Not to mention we don’t have what we need to complete the procedure. I’d like to amputate and give him a decent prosthetic, but you know. We can’t get enough of ‘em. We’ve still got brothers walking around here with no arms and shit. Poor Crash doesn’t have a foot and he got here eight months ago. I’ve had a few boys offer to build them, but I’m not installing devices that aren’t medical-grade.”

“Yeah.” Kix rubbed distractedly at his scalp _. I need to talk to Obi-Wan about this. Maybe he can talk to Senator Organa about lobbying for more aid? This is ridiculous._

“Can you have the teams be on the lookout for one to steal, anyway? He’s suffering quite a bit.”

“Of course, kiddo. The Empire’s gear adrift is a gift, after all. But I doubt we’ll have much luck unless we can infiltrate a medicenter. For now, I advise using the regenerators and stims. Make a decent physical and massage therapy plan and adhere to it. I-”

There was a guttural bellow and a reverberating _crash_ from somewhere beyond the head medic’s position. The image of him shuddered.

Kix stared at him, datapad hanging loose from his hand. “What the hell was that?”

Borvo sighed and rubbed the delicate skin around his eyes in circular motions. His pallid burn scar stretched and contracted comically with the movement. “This post is destroying me.”

“Did someone just…throw something?”

“I think…a new check-in. Not integrating well with the boys. Been getting into fights non-fucking-stop since he got here.” Borvo’s mouth tightened. “He had a psych eval this morning. The poor kid’s miserable, obviously, but if he’s damaged my equipment, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from wringing his neck with my bare karking hands.”

Borvo’s com chimed on cue, and he glowered dangerously at it before raising it to his mouth. “Crick, I swear to every god-“

_“Phobia and Knockout have him pinned, sir. Headshrinker is sedating him as we speak. Your orders, sir?”_

“What will I see if I get up from this fucking chair and go in there, Crick?” Borvo shouted. “What was that sound? _What the fuck will I see, Crick_?”

There was a wary, pointed pause. Kix smiled to himself, imagining Crick’s dumb flustered face as he and the boys scurried to conceal the worst of the evidence.

_“Er…one of the respirators might need to be looked at by the biomed guys.”_

Borvo hissed. “Son of a bitch! We don’t have the budget for shit like this. Bring it to Joule’s office and tell him to run me a diagnostic. Is the kid alright?”

“ _He’s…uh. Is he...? Yeah? Yeah, he’s out. Phobia says he’s stable.”_

“Put him in room 4 for observation. I’ll check him out when I’m done here. Standby to fucking standby. Have Tubie go down to his rack and grab his stuff for an overnight.”

“ _Aye, sir. Crick out.”_

Kix looked back down a his datapad. He wondered who it was, but it wasn’t his business. “Sounds like a normal day there, then. Poor vod. Don’t be too hard on him, Captain. He’s just lashing out.”

Borvo massaged his temples. “You got a good heart, kiddo. But I’m still gonna kill him. Hey, before I go, I’ve got something for the _werlaara.”_

_What?_

“The _werlaara_? Who’s…?”

“A response to his letter!” Borvo said, sounding exasperated. “You sent the first one to me! You’re gonna sit there and play dumb while I’m in the midst of a _crisis_? I do all this karking legwork and-”

“Oh!” Kix had forgotten about that. Rex had insisted on scanning Glitch’s journal and sending his letter with the documents. “Oh, yes. Send it through. Thank you.”

“Take care, kiddo. Eat.”

“Yes, Captain.”

The transmission cut out and a message replaced it.

_Gl’ika,_

_That was the sappiest shit I’ve ever read. I hope you’re pleased with yourself, because you’ve already damaged my dangerous Mandalorian reputation by making me cry in my bunk for two days straight. How am I supposed to assert my alpha dominance now? You damn menace._

_It’s a relief to hear you’re safe. You’re already sick? See, that’s why I don’t trust that natborn food. You don’t know what they put in that crap. Be careful!_

_I’m fine, Gl’ika. Don’t worry about me. I haven’t really been in a friend-making mood lately, but I promise to try if you do the same, okay? I don’t want you to be lonely either, Glitch. I feel sick to my stomach when I hear stuff like that. I’m happy you told me, though. Don’t keep these things to yourself, understand? That’s not what I mean. I need you to try very hard to remember to be sociable. Your brothers will come around, okay?_

_I know you feel bad right now, but do NOT give up on your goal. You deserve to be there as much as any natborn. You’re the bravest brother I’ve ever had. I know you can do it._

_I miss you too, dumbass. So much. Don’t forget about me, okay? Keep writing when you can._

_K'oyacyi,_

_Horns_

_P.S. They've got these big ugly things called tauntauns here. Maybe one day you’ll come back, and we can go see them together._

***

Kix tried to confess his sins to his brothers that evening.

“I could have stopped it, you know.”

The four of them leaned against the back of the house, and the clay brick and synthstone burned uncomfortably at his back. The suns were setting, daubing them with soft red light. It was silent except for the buzz of summer bugs, their loutish trills echoing in the dunes.

“I knew. I knew about the chips. About the Order,” he continued, unable to stop. The truth tasted rancid on his tongue. “I didn’t report it in time. I failed. I wasn’t fast enough. This…all of this is all my fault.”

There was a long, damning silence. Kix felt like he might crumple under the weight of it.

“No.” Rex whispered. “It’s not your fault _._ ”

“We were born to be used, Kix.” Cody murmured. “And not in the pretty, honorable, ‘for the greater good’ sort of way. This was bigger than you, _vod’ika_. This was bigger than me, bigger than the Jedi. Bigger than any of it.”

Kix felt too tired to argue.

They didn't understand. They didn't _know._

The suns set, dousing the fiery light with shade. Kix buried his hands and let the sand scrape imaginary blood from his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kih'parjai- don't mention it  
> werlaara- myth/legend
> 
> Sorry for the lateness again. I'm going through one of those phases where I'm feeling Really Not Great about my writing, but I'm just going to put this up anyway. Hopefully I'll kick myself out of the funk soon.
> 
> By the way, you guys are so supportive and friendly in the comments I can hardly process that you're real. Thank you so much for your support. You're incredible. I had some of the most beautiful comments come my way last chapter.
> 
> Codywan chapter is next! I promise! 
> 
> (Also, here's [My Tumblr](https://maiseey.tumblr.com//) if you want to come say hi. I'm brand new to actually using Tumblr, so don't expect anything exciting, but I'd love to talk to you guys or support whatever fics or projects you've got going on! I'll start posting updates on there as well.)


	10. Cody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***TRIGGER WARNINGS***
> 
> Foul language, depictions of PTSD symptoms, descriptions of physical pain, clone depersonalization, cultural misunderstandings

"I like it!"

Cody peered down at the square of old flimsi doubtfully. His sketch of the winged crest of the Jedi Order melded clumsily with his sunburst.

It was an eyesore.

He shook his head, not remotely fooled. "You sound like you're lying. Are you sure? It's not too much?"

Rex exhaled. "Okay. A little bit. Maybe intertwine the two symbols more? Don't make it look too much like the crest, stylize it more."

Cody selected a fresh piece of flimsi from the many strewn across the kitchen table. What started as Cody sitting down to design the clan crest alone had long since devolved into a lively group activity. Everyone sans Obi-Wan and Ahsoka had joined him, taking a seat and drawing along.

"How the- "Cody growled in frustration and tried again, carving out the loose curves of the Jedi Crest, trying to give the impression of the symbol rather than an exact copy. "' Stylize it more,' he says."

Rex ignored him, leaning over and watching his progress. "Yeah, that's trash, _ori'vod_."

"You do it then!" Cody snapped without any real malice, reaching over and flicking his little brother square between the eyes with a highly satisfying _thwack_. "Since you're a graphic design genius all of a sudden."

"Ow. No, Give it to Kix! He's the artistic one!"

Kix looked up from his own sketch, startled. "I am?"

" _Vod'ika_ , you used to carve karking lightning bolts or whatever those things were into your scalp every-"

Kix held up his hand to cut him off, looking embarrassed. "It was a phase!"

"Please, brother?" Rex wheedled.

"Fine! Okay. Fine. I'll try."

He ended up making quick work of his request, finishing his own rendition and flipping it up for Rex and Cody to inspect.

It was perfect. The sunburst wrapped the Jedi Crest like it was protecting it, curved and graceful.

Something deep in Cody's chest purred in satisfaction.

" _Ori'jate!"_ he praised enthusiastically. "Excellent, _vod'ika_! That looks great. That's it. Agreed, everyone?"

His tribe murmured their approval.

Cody smiled.

"Hey…where is your armor?" Rex asked suddenly, already carefully stenciling the crest design's outline over the scuffed blue stripe of his old shoulder bell. He held his tongue in between his teeth as he worked, pale brows furrowed in concentration. The comforting smell of fresh paint filled the air between them. "Do you know where it is?"

_Odd question._

Cody looked up at his brother from the dreadful stick figure of a tooka he was absentmindedly scratching onto a piece of loose flimsi. Taking advantage of his pause, Leia leaned over and snatched it from him with a flourish.

"Hey!" Cody exclaimed, a surprised laugh punching out of him. "You little womp rat!" He reached over and tried to tweak her nose.

She dodged him, inspecting the flimsi before letting out a shrill peal of laughter. "Ugly!" she announced, showing it to Luke. He nodded gravely.

" _Ad'ika!_ Ugly?" Cody gasped spiritedly, trying not to laugh. "How can you say these things to me, your own father? That's not very Jedi-like."

"Brutal," Kix murmured, discreetly shielding his own sketch from Leia's view. Glitch tilted his head sympathetically; the drawing he was working on already being crumpled into a ball.

Rex looked up at her, face puffed with barely restrained amusement. "Now, Leia. That wasn't kind. You've gone and hurt your _buir's_ feelings. What should you say?"

Leia continued to draw. "Sorry, _buir_ ," she chirped insincerely.

" _Jetii,_ " Rex said despairingly, shaking his head. "Reminds me of when Ahsoka was young. Spouting whatever damn thing that came into her head."

"I remember," Cody sighed, grabbing another piece of flimsi. _Might as well start again._ "What's this about armor, _vod'ika_? What are you on about now?"

Rex finished the thin base layer of paint and held it up, turning it from side to side to assess the results. The wet gold shimmered under the fluorescent lights. "You heard me, but alright. Do you know what happened to your armor? Can you remember?"

Cody bent his neck and drew slow, meaningless circles. The strokes of the pen seemed suddenly loud to his ears. Where was this going? He didn't really want to think about that. Right now, or ever. He'd loved that armor. It had protected him through countless campaigns, and despite it being a uniform, he'd always felt so uniquely himself while wearing it.

He shrugged. Whatever this was, this was Rex. Cody knew his brother wasn't trying to upset him. There was a point to this. "No. I..I don't know. Probably got destroyed. They stripped it off me. You know. After."

_Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it…_

Kix suddenly looked grey.

"The Imperial natborns made me burn mine." Glitch offered quietly from across the table. Cody looked up at him, feeling a small swell of concern at his tone. His brother kept his eyes glued to his flimsi, and he fiddled restlessly with his pencil before scribbling a dark, angry swirl. "After my squad killed our Jedi. After I felt all the lights go out. I…I was upset about that."

Poor little _vod_. What was Cody doing, thinking only of himself? "I'm sorry they did that, _Gl'ika_ ," he extended. It felt glaringly insufficient.

Rex glanced up at Glitch as well. Cody watched him think carefully for a moment before choosing a tactic. "Seems a little bit gratuitously theatrical of the Imps," the blond said slowly, turning back to his work. "Making everyone burn their armor. They sure have a flair for the dramatic, don't they?"

To Cody's surprise, Glitch's shoulders relaxed a bit. His large, dark eyes made the briefest contact with Rex's before darting back to his task. A shy chuckle fell from his lips. "Yes. I thought so."

Rex smiled at him comfortingly before turning to Cody. "Alright. I'm sorry for bringing it up like this. I'm just…checking. Before I bring something out."

Cody almost groaned. Of course. Rex was so dramatic about gifts. There was always an unnecessary build-up. "You didn't find my armor, did you?" he asked him teasingly, already knowing the answer. That armor was long gone. There was no conceivable way Rex had found it.

"No," Rex admitted. "But…"

Cody watched his brother stand and go to his neat pile of travel bags. He pulled something large and bulky out of one.

"What…?"

Rex walked back and upended the contents of a package onto the sleek wooden surface of the table. A collection of clean, unpainted vambraces and shoulder bells landed with a strident clattering sound.

Not stormtrooper armor.

Clone armor.

Luke and Leia babbled in curiosity. Kix and Glitch stared at the pile in unchecked surprise.

"Rex…" Cody reached forward and lightly ran his fingertips along the glossy finish of one of the pieces. He felt nearly dumbstruck. "Rex, what…?"

"From Hoth. I grabbed these before I left. There's a stash. I figured since we're a real clan now, we ought to adhere to the _Resol'nare_ a bit better. _Ba'jur bal beskar'gam, Ara'nov, aliit, Mando'a bal Mand'alor—An vencuyan mhi._ Right, _alor_?"

Cody closed his eyes, touched beyond measure. He'd taught Rex that phrase. Long ago, when everything was so straightforward, uncomplicated. When Rex had been only a small, pale-haired cadet, looking up at him with large, trusting eyes.

_Education and armor, Self-defense, our tribe, Our language and our leader—All help us survive._

The lack of armor in their current situation was something Cody had been passively fretting over for a long time. He'd thought of asking Rex to do this very thing many times before-to collect some pieces to represent their unification as a tribe. He always failed to go through with the request, though. Rex had so much to worry about when he was on his missions. Cody didn't want to distract and endanger him by adding one more thing.

Rex was watching him, smiling. "We can add your crest to these and customize them the way we like! It's not beskar, but this could do in a pinch, couldn't it? There's enough for everyone."

Cody grinned broadly at him. He stood from the table. His movement woke all the nerves in his leg, and pain ripped into the well of his pelvis. He ignored it, stumbling towards Rex and wrapping him in a firm embrace. Rex reciprocated with enthusiasm.

"It could. It does," Cody whispered sincerely against his shoulder. "Thank you, brother. This means…this means a lot to me."

Rex squeezed him tighter. "I'm glad, _Kote._ Also…" He paused for a moment, pulling back.

Cody tilted his head inquisitively. "Yes?"

Rex threw a fleeting glance at Kix and Glitch before meeting Cody's eyes. "Nothing, really. I… got one for Ben. That's all."

Cody looked back at him, surprised. Of course, he expected Rex to get one for Ben. Naturally. He was part of the clan. But he also knew Rex was implying something else.

His gut twisted, and his chronically sore heart smarted with renewed anguish. His brother was indulging him.

Maybe even pitying him.

For years, Cody's life had been interwoven with his Jedi's. Together, they had survived. Together, they had endured sharp sweet highs and heavy, mournful lows- never willingly leaving each other's sides. Together, they were raising children.

He had no frame of reference, but Cody knew that the helpless warmth that blossomed in his belly when they were together was love.

Still, it didn't matter.

When it came down to it, he was still just a clone. A broken, rapidly aging clone with few prospects. Surely Rex knew Obi-Wan would never actually _want_ Cody. Not enough to exchange armor with, certainly.

Oh, but the thought was as sweet as honey in his mouth.

***

"Stay where I can see you, Luke!"

Cody hoisted himself up a tall shelf of sedimentary rock, worn out boot treads scrabbling for purchase against its steep angle. Disrupted stones showered the ground below, and he creased his brow in determination, wriggling his stomach on the ledge to offset his weak hips and leg.

"Luke!" he coughed out, hard shards of scorching slate digging into the tender flesh of his belly. "Luke, wait-"

"He's alright. I can sense him," a too mellow voice drifted up from bellow him.

Cody huffed, using his elbows to brace his weight and finally drag his body over the ledge. Pain glanced up his spine in sharp bursts. "He shouldn't be running off! I don't like that you've taught him to Force jump. This is banthashit! What if he gets hurt? It's not safe. He's too little. He's practically an infant!"

Obi-Wan chuckled, and with a soft _whump_ , the man landed beside him. He helped Cody up with gentle hands. "Please wait for me, _Kote._ You know you shouldn't be climbing. You could have very easily gone around to flatter terrain."

Cody stared at him. The audacity of Jedi. " _Narseryc_? Really, _jetii?_ My son is bouncing through Tusken territory at a hundred klicks a minute. I don't have time to go around!"

Obi-Wan only smiled at him. Wind blew through the canyon, and the light, meandering rhythms of the air caught Obi-Wan's sun-bleached hair. His warm hands lingered lightly on the bare skin of Cody's forearms, right at the edge of the cuffs he'd rolled in an effort to keep cool. The morning sunlight was warm, but the unanticipated thrill of the touch caused gooseflesh to ripple across Cody's skin.

Not for the first time that day, Cody thought of the vambrace he'd hidden under his pillow.

"You needn't worry" Obi-Wan told him earnestly. He pointed up, indicating the soaring rocks lining the canyon's maw. "He's not really moving that fast, and Ahsoka has been following him very closely."

Cody looked. Ahsoka's slim silhouette perched atop one of the boulders, looking down into the chasm.

"This is the exercise." Obi-Wan said, voice taking on a patient tone. "He just needs to traverse a few simple obstacles to find Glitch and Leia. And…" his voice trailed, eyes becoming faraway and falling to the side "He's done it. See? He's capable."

Cody frowned. "He's _three_."

Obi-Wan's eyes were wide and blue- _oh_ _so blue._ His hands made more direct contact with Cody's arms. "I promise this is an age-appropriate task for him. These skills are necessary and life-saving ones. We've done hide and seek exercises before. I would never put the children in a situation they couldn't handle. I hope you know this?"

Cody did know. He trusted Obi-Wan implicitly by now. He just…got worried. Logically he had always known the twins would grow to be stronger and faster than him, but it was hard to face the reality of it.

He hadn't known it would happen so _fast._

How could he protect them now?

Obi-Wan gave his head a little, sad shake. "Oh, Cody. The same way you've been protecting me-and all of us- for all these years."

Cody started in shock.

_Did I just…? Force, that's embarrassing._

Obi-Wan winced and smiled. "Sorry. I don't mean to be invasive. You were projecting your feelings quite a bit a moment ago. But you don't need me to tell you that Jedi can be a clumsy, air-headed lot. We will always need you to watch our backs. And raising a child is far more than just physically protecting them. You are still needed, my dear Commander. If you'll still have us, that is."

Cody met his gaze.

How Obi-Wan didn't see that Cody would do anything for him was beyond his comprehension.

He looked away before he could do something stupid.

***

After Obi-Wan's tracking lessons were complete, they ate lunch in the canyon.

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan had both packed provisions-salted meat, some fruits, some bread- and the group shared the meal between them, resting in the shade provided by the mouth of a shallow cave.

All three of Obi-Wan's students had done well today, and Cody couldn't be prouder of his children and his brother. Glitch was still a bit behind Luke and Leia in his skills, but he had proved himself to be a hard worker, and Cody knew his determination had him well on his way to catching up.

As always, when they were done with their meal, Obi-Wan allowed the twins to choose what skills they wanted to work on before they started to head home. Naturally, they chose climbing (they _always_ chose climbing) and Obi-Wan and Ahsoka indulged them, following closely behind as the children slowly traversed the side of the cliff, moving slowly from rock to rock. They intervened ever so often, never letting them climb too fast or too high. Glitch elected to work on meditation, so he retreated to sit on a wide, flat stone in the shade.

Cody kept an eye on their surroundings, a blaster firmly in hand. For reasons he couldn't quite put a finger on, he suddenly felt…agitated. He restlessly checked one side of the canyon, then limped to check the other side, keeping his head and body in motion. The more he thought about the limited cover provided by their position, more nervous he became.

Sweat stung Cody's eyes.

He hoped the Jedi would choose to leave soon. They were sitting nunas down here.

Why couldn't they _see_ that? They were so _stupid_ , why did they come here?

He looked up at Obi-Wan, clinging to the cliff wall. Something in Cody's hindbrain started buzzing, blurring thoughts, blurring sounds. His lungs spasmed like they were fighting a slow vice grip.

There was something about… _this_ …

Something about the quality of the light. Something about this _image_ …something about…

A com started chiming. He didn't _have_ a com….?

He suddenly wanted Obi-Wan to come down.

"Ben!" Cody called out loudly, frightened. "Ben! Please…Ben. Come down, please? I…please get down, I…Please!"

Obi-Wan's head turned towards him.

_Yes. Listen._

"Cody?"

It stank. It stank like plasma afterburn. Melted plastoid. Oil. And…his head ached. His head ached so _badly_. Force….

_Good soldiers follow orders._

No.

_Good soldiers follow orders._

No.

_Good soldiers follow orders._

NO.

_Oh, Force, you're gonna kill him. You're gonna kill'm. You're gonna kill'm…._

Cody stumbled back, immediately dropping his blaster. One of his heels hit an uneven bit of sandstone, and he lost his footing. His body swiftly plummeted to the hard, compacted dirt.

His hips struck the ground first.

The sensation was… _beyond_ what he could have ever imagined.

Cody couldn't help the animalistic shriek that escaped his throat. He writhed, panting and sobbing through merciless crests of pain. Helpless tears rolled down his face, and he felt his consciousness flicker.

A shadow fell across his face.

Cody recoiled. Someone was looming over him. A distinctive silhouette.

Ahsoka Tano.

"No!" Cody wheezed, breathless and blind with fear. A high-pitched sound erupted in both his ears. "Don't touch me! Stay back. Fuck, don't touch me."

She bent over him more.

"Cody! I'm here to help you! Just relax, it's alright."

_That's what you said last time._

Pain and panic threatened to engulf him. He instructed his eyes to soak up the sight of the world for the last time, and in his mind, he prayed for a swift end.

"I told you to…I told you to stay away from me! Stay away… where's…where are my kids?"

"Cody…"

The fear latched onto him. He lifted his head, trying to seek them out. What if she hurt them the way she hurt him? "Where are my babies?" he gasped, shivering in agony. "Don't touch my babies."

Ahsoka huffed tiredly. "Cody, c'mon," she said, in a reasonable tone. "They aren't even your kids; you can't say that. You know that I've never hurt them, and I never would. These kids are my Master’s legacy."

Cody stared up at her silently, his mind muddled. The fight drained from him with phantom plasma afterburn still stinging his nostrils.

_They aren't even your kids._

Obi-Wan, Glitch, and the children arrived at his side, but his focus was turned inward.

Never in his life had he ever felt more like a sham.

_Just a broken-down clone._

***

Cody was unwell for nearly three days straight after the episode.

He largely slept, but he woke sporadically-often to the beep of Kix's medical scanner or the gentle squeeze of Obi-Wan's hand on his shoulder. It was common for him to open his eyes to someone at his bedside, and he grew used to it, choosing to take comfort in the fact he didn't have to worry about watching his own back.

A frequent occupant of the chair next to Cody's bed was Ahsoka.

"I shouldn't have said that to you," she'd whispered once as he drifted in and out of wakefulness.

Cody wondered why not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you all for being patient with me in getting this short chapter out. The support I've been receiving to continue this fic has been absolutely incredible, and I thank you guys so much!
> 
> (Also, here's [My Tumblr](https://maiseey.tumblr.com//) if you want to come say hi.)

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE reading your comments! Feedback is very welcome. Please feel free to leave suggestions for further chapters, or whatever you'd like! Thank you so much for reading! :D
> 
> SIDE NOTE: I'm thinking of writing some snippets or side stories as companions to this fic. What missing moments/ further explorations would you like to read from this 'verse?


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